Punishing puns! and spoonerisms and malapropisms etc.

Started by Tank, December 19, 2015, 11:49:35 AM

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Tank

#210
April 28, 2016, 12:43:55 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Biggus Dickus

#211
May 02, 2016, 02:27:58 PM
What's the difference between a Snowman, and a Snowomen?

"Snowballs"


There was a kidnapping yesterday near my house,...I woke him up.


I accidentally swallowed some food coloring yesterday, and I feel like I dyed a little bit inside.


I'm so fucking hungry right now I could eat a Henway.

What's a Henway Bruno?

About five pounds.


Did you all hear about the fire last night at the circus?

It was in tents!

In-tents!


What's a pirates favorite letter of the alphabet?

The sea, a pirates first love is always the sea!



A Network Engineer went to the Doctor, and he told the Doctor, "It hurts when IP"!

"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Tank

#212
May 04, 2016, 06:51:11 AM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

xSilverPhinx

#213
May 06, 2016, 11:23:40 AM
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey

No one

#214
May 06, 2016, 11:41:24 PM
A nurse pulls a rectal thermometer out of her pocket and thinks,  some asshole has my pen.

joeactor

#215
May 09, 2016, 08:34:37 PM

Siz

#216
May 09, 2016, 08:54:06 PM
^
Apparently, she was heard shouting "Get off your sorry ass or I'll smack you with the neck of this guitar". He replied "Is that a fret?"

When one sleeps on the floor one need not worry about falling out of bed - Anton LaVey

The universe is a cold, uncaring void. The key to happiness isn't a search for meaning, it's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually you'll be dead!

Davin

#217
May 09, 2016, 10:03:27 PM
^
She says it started with a string of offenses mostly because he was always tuning her out.
Always question all authorities because the authority you don't question is the most dangerous... except me, never question me.

joeactor

#218
May 09, 2016, 10:38:17 PM
(you guys are good... oh, yeah...)

Tank

#219
May 11, 2016, 06:48:39 AM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Crow

#220
May 12, 2016, 08:11:02 PM
Retired member.

Ecurb Noselrub

#221
May 12, 2016, 09:47:38 PM
^ OMG!!!  I can hear him say "Coral". 

Biggus Dickus

#222
May 12, 2016, 10:21:46 PM


"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Icarus

#223
May 14, 2016, 03:22:59 AM
Re you impieing that the hay will go to heaven out a horses ass?

Arturo

#224
May 14, 2016, 04:55:56 AM
Cheech Marin started teaching Spanish at a school in his hometown.

They called him the Cheecher.
It's Okay To Say You're Welcome
     Just let people be themselves.
     Ａｒｔｕｒｏ　Ｔｈｅ１　 リ壱
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