Everybody Poops... Except God?

[Tank]

He does not eat, and therefore, cannot poop.

Ah! But God could poop even without eating if he wanted to. Personally I'd go for God eating whatever he liked and as much as he liked and NOT pooping!

[JillSwift]

What, has no one heard the term "Holy shit!"?

God poops, people exclaim it.  

[Kylyssa]

I prefer to ask if God has a penis.  There's even less use for a penis if there's only one God.

[elliebean]

I prefer to ask if God has a penis.  There's even less use for a penis if there's only one God.

At least one person would probably disagree......

[spoiler:2op1iftv]......if she were real:

 [/spoiler:2op1iftv]

[Tank]

I prefer to ask if God has a penis.  There's even less use for a penis if there's only one God.

I don't know this forum well enough to make the retort that sprang to mind then  

[elliebean]

penis

sprang

I'm so immature.

[Tank]

penis

sprang

[jrosebud]

As a pantheist, and God being everything, I guess that sort of answers itself.

So he's an octopus or something?

Aye, captain.

Take that any way you want.

[xSilverPhinx]

Does God poop?

:eek:

The god of the bible is an asshole.
An asshole is an anus.
Therefore god is an anus.

That would explain a lot...

[Icarus]

Best retort of all, Jill.  However I think it is the pope to whom we must assign the term: "holy shit".

Wow! You guys are irreverent,  but the original question is legitimate enough if we are to expand our understanding of god and the way he functions.

Question: Does heaven have golden toilets or are they just regular old porcelain. Also, does heaven have septic tanks?  

[Tank]

Best retort of all, Jill.  However I think it is the pope to whom we must assign the term: "holy shit".

Wow! You guys are irreverent,  but the original question is legitimate enough if we are to expand our understanding of god and the way he functions.

Question: Does heaven have golden toilets or are they just regular old porcelain. Also, does heaven have septic tanks?  

Nope. The shit goes straight to hell!

[JillSwift]

Nope. The shit goes straight to hell!

I disagree.

What makes a septic tank what it is is putrefaction. This means there is a supercolony of various bacteria breaking down the shit.

Now, given that we've established divine feces, and given that we know that the divine is infinite and that hell is finite (it was created), we know that an infinite amount of even divine crap can not be stored in a finite space.

So heaven would need septic tanks. Sure, you could argue that no one would want vats of steaming putrescence in heaven, and as such would degrade heaven from perfection - thus making it not heaven. You'd be wrong of course. Even bacteria are worthy of the Greatest Reward, and what would be a better reward for anaerobic bacteria than to putrefy divine excrement? Talk about manna from heaven!

So, everyone gets their little slice of heaven, and no one drowns in shit in hell unless its on the schedule.  

[Tank]

^^^  

[Myoslnev]

Jillswift, is your avatar a video-game graphic, or a photograph? I'm not entirely sure...

Also, I hope most christians don't see this page. There are many christians that go onto atheist websites to try to convert. But I have some good friends that are very devout. They are very good people. I guess it's because of them that I'm going to decline to join in on this very irreverent fun.

 

[elliebean]

Sure, you could argue that no one would want vats of steaming putrescence in heaven, and as such would degrade heaven from perfection - thus making it not heaven.

Hence, your only chance of getting in is if your shit doesn't stink.