Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Icarus]

News of the day.............https://imgur.com/gallery/case-anyone-was-wondering-why-rapture-didnt-happen-today-pR6d1zg

[The Magic Pudding..]

Yay! I'm in.

[Dark Lightning]

Sad but true. The chump did a Porky Pig routine trying to pronounce Acetaminophen four or five times, when he denounced it as causing autism. Stupid fuck. It was removed in the replay of the speech and he just says Tylenol.

[Tank]

He is utterly mind numbing.

[Dark Lightning]

Lots of medical professionals are pointing out the symptoms of progressing dementia.

BoT-

The four stages of a man's life are:
1) you believe in Santa Claus
2) you don't believe in Santa Claus
3) you are Santa Claus
4) you look like Santa Claus

[Icarus]

Old  guy stuff...............https://www.youtube.com/shorts/L9M0Goo-PmQ

[Recusant]

Decent stand-up (sort of  ) routine. Thanks for posting it, Icarus.

[Recusant]

Scientists worked for several months to combine crab DNA with cheetah DNA but when they began to get results things went sideways, fast.

[Dark Lightning]

 
 
What was more important than the invention of the first telephone?










The second telephone.

[Icarus]

Groaner.................

 A man who ran a small business had experienced diminished sales due to the Tariffs and other causes. He knew he had to lay off one or two people.  The two people in his shipping department were named Jack and Sophie. They were both good employees and he had to make a decision.  He talked to Sophie and told her " Sophie, I will have to lay you or Jack off." She said  "Sorry, am on my period right now so you will have to jack off".