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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Magdalena

#3645
February 22, 2016, 05:30:58 AM
I think I've angered the computer gods...I have no sound.  :(


"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Tank

#3646
February 24, 2016, 06:54:31 AM
Guess where I found this Bluenose!

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#3647
February 24, 2016, 09:04:39 PM
"A husband and wife are shopping in their local HEB. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife. They carry on with their shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. Her husband retorts, "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Biggus Dickus

#3648
February 26, 2016, 09:38:04 PM
This is very true...

"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

OldGit

#3649
February 27, 2016, 01:30:58 PM

joeactor

#3650
February 27, 2016, 03:07:24 PM
^^^ good one OG!

Biggus Dickus

#3651
February 27, 2016, 06:11:15 PM
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Tank

#3652
February 29, 2016, 01:14:17 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

chimp3

#3653
March 01, 2016, 10:53:34 AM
A Democrat and a Republican are shown a glass filled halfway with water. They are asked to comment on the glass being half empty or half full. The Democrat says "Well , I am an optimist so the glass is half full". The Republican says "Hey , who the hell has been drinking out of my glass!"
I doubt it!

Biggus Dickus

#3654
March 01, 2016, 02:33:07 PM
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Guardian85

#3655
March 03, 2016, 07:03:58 PM


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Tank

#3656
March 03, 2016, 07:18:14 PM
^^^^ LOL!
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Biggus Dickus

#3657
March 05, 2016, 05:56:01 AM
New prequel to the movie "Planet of the Apes".

2016
There's no way Donald Trump can become President


2017
There's no way President Trump will fire all those nukes at Russia just because Putin said he had a small penis.


3017
Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

OldGit

#3658
March 05, 2016, 09:22:43 AM

OldGit

#3659
March 05, 2016, 02:31:33 PM
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