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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Magdalena

#3615
January 16, 2016, 06:56:03 PM
^^
I like it.  :snicker:

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Tank

#3616
January 17, 2016, 08:50:44 AM
Harold is my hero!!!

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#3617
January 18, 2016, 01:09:58 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#3618
January 20, 2016, 12:42:58 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#3619
January 20, 2016, 12:50:03 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#3620
January 20, 2016, 01:09:32 PM
A man asked me to explain what indifference was? I told him
"I don't know and I don't care."
He didn't seem to understand.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#3621
January 20, 2016, 01:13:34 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Biggus Dickus

#3622
January 20, 2016, 02:02:16 PM
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Guardian85

#3623
January 20, 2016, 10:11:27 PM
A trucker goes into a whorehouse and hands the Madam five hundred dollars. He says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich."
The Madam says, "For that kind of money, you could have one of my finest girls and surf and turf."
The trucker says, "I'm not horny, I'm homesick."


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Guardian85

#3624
January 20, 2016, 10:15:41 PM


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

joeactor

#3625
January 21, 2016, 12:26:25 AM
Somewhat off-color joke follows (hidden for sensitive or young eyes)

[spoiler]A prospector in the Klondike bursts into a local saloon...
"I struck it rich! I want me two beers and the roughest, toughest whore in the Klondike!"
The bartender puts two bottles of beer on the bar and says:
"She's upstairs, third door on the left."
He grabs the beers, storms up the stairs and kicks open the third on the left and says:
"I'm lookin' for the roughest, toughest whore in the Klondike!"
The woman in the room looks at him and says:
"Mister, you found her!"
Then she rips off all her clothes, turns around and grabs her ankles.
The prospector says:
"How do you know I want it that way?"
She replies:
"I don't... but I thought you might wanna open them beers first."[/spoiler]

Biggus Dickus

#3626
January 22, 2016, 05:11:09 PM
The true spirit of this sign is slipping away!




Good luck finding this kat!

"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Magdalena

#3627
January 22, 2016, 06:10:41 PM

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Biggus Dickus

#3628
January 23, 2016, 08:19:39 PM
Girl: Come over.
Boy: Can't babe, snowed in, there's no way I'm going out in this blizzard!
Girl: My parents are out of town.





For those on the east coast dealing with the Blizzard of 2016 (PC)
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Magdalena

#3629
January 26, 2016, 11:02:15 PM

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant
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