Bumper Sticker Philosophy

[februarystars]

I see TONS of religious (99% of the time, Christian.) bumber stickers around here. Living in the Bible belt in Bumfuck Alabama, it's not surprising. Things like "I'm Hellproof. Are you?" "Jesus saves." and, of course, the Jesus fish everywhere.

I'm right next door in Mississippi, so I feel you.

My favorite: I live in a little college town, and it pretty much has one main road that runs through the whole city. When traffic gets congested, as it tends to do a lot, you just have to force your way in front of other cars while they are stopped at a red light in order to get onto said main road. I mean, you're stopped at a red light. It's not like you're going anywhere. Just let me squeeze in front of you so we can all get to where we need to go.

A few weeks ago, I started to pull in front of a big pickup truck that was stopped behind a bunch of other cars at a red light. The guy starts laying down on his horn and pulling forward to try to prevent me from getting onto the street. When I got in front of him anyway, he starts laying on the horn even more, throwing profane hand gestures, and yelling who knows what.

After traffic started moving again, he swerves all dramatically to pass me up, and I see the gigantic decal on his rear window that says "JESUS IS MY SAVIOR" with several other smaller bumper stickers and decals that are religious phrases and imagery, and a few anti-Obama stickers.

Makes me want to get a bumper sticker that says "Jesus Hates Road Ragers."

[fester30]

I see TONS of religious (99% of the time, Christian.) bumber stickers around here. Living in the Bible belt in Bumfuck Alabama, it's not surprising. Things like "I'm Hellproof. Are you?" "Jesus saves." and, of course, the Jesus fish everywhere.

I'm right next door in Mississippi, so I feel you.

My favorite: I live in a little college town, and it pretty much has one main road that runs through the whole city. When traffic gets congested, as it tends to do a lot, you just have to force your way in front of other cars while they are stopped at a red light in order to get onto said main road. I mean, you're stopped at a red light. It's not like you're going anywhere. Just let me squeeze in front of you so we can all get to where we need to go.

A few weeks ago, I started to pull in front of a big pickup truck that was stopped behind a bunch of other cars at a red light. The guy starts laying down on his horn and pulling forward to try to prevent me from getting onto the street. When I got in front of him anyway, he starts laying on the horn even more, throwing profane hand gestures, and yelling who knows what.

After traffic started moving again, he swerves all dramatically to pass me up, and I see the gigantic decal on his rear window that says "JESUS IS MY SAVIOR" with several other smaller bumper stickers and decals that are religious phrases and imagery, and a few anti-Obama stickers.

Makes me want to get a bumper sticker that says "Jesus Hates Road Ragers."

Hahaha! That's great!  Just goes to show there isn't one race, gender, ethnic group, religion, or any group of human beings that is immuneto or has the monopoly on assholes.

[Saeriva]

There's a car I see around here sometimes (small town southeastern Michigan) when I pick up my little brother and the neighbor boy from school. It has so many bumper stickers on it that from the back, it's almost hard to see the paint. Most of them are about the end times, but there's a few thrown in just to take racially offensive potshots at President Obama. Some do both at the same time. It's... disgusting, truly disturbing, and I hate being stuck behind it at the light, because I don't want the boys to have to witness something so upsetting hateful. They're in elementary school for goodness sake, I shouldn't have to explain to eleven year-olds what "village in Kenya is missing it's idiot" or how they figure our president is "pro islam and anti christian" on their way home from school...

There's also a car that lives around the corner that has the "truth" fish eating the "darwin" fish, if you've ever seen those.

[The Magic Pudding]

Do any sneaky atheists draw legs on the blessed fishes?
If they are sufficiently sneaky the owners might think it's a miracle.

[Saeriva]

You know you can buy magnetic replacements for the Darwin fish legs, should some particularly violent vigilante break them off. I have def thought of buying several of them and going around attaching them to Jesus fish... but I feel like I could spend my money more wisely.

[Twentythree]

I don’t get it either way. Why not just wear a sign saying I’m desperate for the attention of those who think like me. And for those who don’t, fuck you! I’d probably appreciate that a lot more than any of these banal attempts at wittiness.

[februarystars]

Not a bumper sticker, but along the lines of the "bumper sticker philosophy." This passive aggressive tantrum was on my Facebook feed this morning.



Obviously, if she really felt this way, she would just do it without a fuss. Knowing fully well that this would not be possible (because Community Coffee just tastes so much better than the God brand), she's just trying to get a rise out of people, or more likely to get all the other sheep to "like" her status and comment with bible verses and "You tell 'em girl!"s.

I'll also point out that this same girl goes to the University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) and was one of the petitioners against changing the school mascot from the civil war Confederate "Colonel Reb" to something a little more proactive in getting our state's image out of the backwards bigoted mentality, so I guess she's used to telling people "Your opinions don't matter because they're not my opinions."

[Sireal]

When I owned my book store I made my own stickers and wrote customer receipts on one in particular.

I Fuck to Cum
Not to Conceive
Woman's Right

[proudfootz]

Okay, I'm dim... what is the "tap" reference?

In order of appearance: admit defeat in a fight by "tapping" your opponent so s/he knows to quit, to have sex with, to prepare a keg of beer for drinking.

And that guy is still a douche.  

Whenever I hear 'tap' anymore I think of it in reference to US Senator Larry Craig:

Apparently 'toe tapping' in stalls of public toilets is a signal to like-minded individuals that they're looking for same-sex frolic in the restroom.

Sen Craig was caught in 2007 doing this at an airport and arrested. He pled guilty.

[februarystars]

Saw one today driving through Mobile, Alabama â€" "Dusty Bibles Lead to Dirty Lives"

[terranus]

You know you can buy magnetic replacements for the Darwin fish legs, should some particularly violent vigilante break them off. I have def thought of buying several of them and going around attaching them to Jesus fish... but I feel like I could spend my money more wisely.

Link please?

I'll also point out that this same girl goes to the University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) and was one of the petitioners against changing the school mascot from the civil war Confederate "Colonel Reb" to something a little more proactive in getting our state's image out of the backwards bigoted mentality, so I guess she's used to telling people "Your opinions don't matter because they're not my opinions."

I was actually against getting rid of Colonel Reb myself. Perhaps as a college football fanatic I'm biased, but I thought the whole switching mascots thing was an insult to the tradition of Ole Miss and the freedom of speech in general. I mean, come on, we all know Mississippi is racist. You really think changing a mascot is going to fix that? Doubt it. And the mascot they replaced Col. Reb with? The black bear? Really? Just a cryin' shame. I would feel sorry for them, if the school wasn't one of LSU's archrivals.

[februarystars]

I was actually against getting rid of Colonel Reb myself. Perhaps as a college football fanatic I'm biased, but I thought the whole switching mascots thing was an insult to the tradition of Ole Miss and the freedom of speech in general. I mean, come on, we all know Mississippi is racist. You really think changing a mascot is going to fix that? Doubt it. And the mascot they replaced Col. Reb with? The black bear? Really? Just a cryin' shame. I would feel sorry for them, if the school wasn't one of LSU's archrivals.

I think he had a good run, and it was just time to retire him. He isn't really appropriate for the current day. At this point, we're also the only state that still has the Confederate flag incorporated into our state flag. Sure, they're only images, but the symbolism is controversial and dredges up things in the past that unfortunately a lot of people still cling to. I guess I just hate the stigma associated with Mississippi, and a lot of people overlook the really great cultural history in favor of the stereotypes. /end rant

And I suppose I'm just not as fanatical as you Tigers.
(Though I really hoped my relatively unknown little university would have beat you guys in the College World Series two years ago, but we got oh so fucked.)

[terranus]

"Relatively unknown" anywhere outside the South, maybe. Most people throughout the Southern U.S. know who USM is methinks. Or, at least they know who Larry Fedora is.

[fester30]

"Relatively unknown" anywhere outside the South, maybe. Most people throughout the Southern U.S. know who USM is methinks. Or, at least they know who Larry Fedora is.

I know what a fedora is.

[Cecilie]

I have seen one Christian fish and one Darwin fish. That is all.