Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[hermes2015]

There's a Dentist who lives in my neighborhood who I've known, and have been seeing for years. Recently he was arrested as part of of a major drug bust. He was charged with selling illegal narcotics.

Which just goes to show you never know about folks, like who knew?

Like I said I've been going to him for years, and I had no idea he was a dentist.

Well, one doesn't have to be a dentist to be good at filling cavities.

[No one]

Plumbers are good at use their caulk to fill in cracks.

[MarcusA]

Plumber's crack is there for all to see.

[Icarus]

There once was a plumber named Lee
who was plumbing his girl by the sea
she said stop your plumbing
I think someones coming
I know said the plumber, it's me

[Tank]

[Anne D.]

Good one, Icarus.

[MarcusA]

Answering back is forwards.

[The Magic Pudding.]

Stupid trees

[Tom62]

During a dull White House dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with Secretary of State, Tillerson.

"I bought Donald a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say over two hundred words!"

"Very impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize he just speaks the words. He doesn't really understand what they all mean"

"Oh, I know", replied Melania, "but neither does the parrot."

[MarcusA]

Back to the future, what's install?

[MarcusA]

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.

[MarcusA]

Laughter is the freest thing in the world, a breeze on a hot day.

[MarcusA]

The religious deserve God. He's an arsehole.

[MarcusA]

Mental illness is not funny.
- Philip K. Dick

Donald Trump is not funny.

[Tom62]

Donald Trump looks and talks funny.

Joe Biden isn't funny, but creepy (sniffing children's hair, etc.).