Useful Advice

[DeterminedJuliet]

Most of the time deciding "what's helpful" is a nuanced process that has a lot to do with context, personal experience, values, etc. But every now and then you get a simple one-line piece of advice that really sticks with you. For example,

-When my son was a newborn, I lived by "sleep when your baby sleeps."
-If I can help it, I "never go grocery shopping when hungry."
- A fellow-writer once told me, "write for ten minutes, goof off for one."

For whatever reason, these little tidbits have stuck in my brain and I've found them helpful. So, what's some advice you've found helpful? I'm not really intending for this to turn into a debate about the merits of each piece of advice, since I think the "helpfulness" will really vary from person to person. But I thought it'd be a neat thing to share -- maybe we'll pick up some more useful nuggets.   

[Tank]

"Once is luck, twice is coincidence, three times is a trend."

So true!

[Ali]

Well, I just mentioned it in another thread, but I find Sarah Silverman's "Make it a treat" philosophy to be quite helpful.  Basically, she says that whatever it is, no matter how delightful, if you do it all of the time, it loses it's delight factor and becomes the normal.  So like with makeup, if you wear makeup everyday, people just see your made up face as "normal" and then they think you're dying of the plague if you ever show up without it.  Where as, if you never wear makeup, that's just the way your face looks normally, and then when you do wear a little bit of makeup, people think you look great.  On my normal day, I just wear a little bit of lightly tinted moisturizer, and I look okay.  When I put on some lip gloss and mascara, people fall over themselves to tell me how nice I look.  It's a treat.  I try to follow this philosophy in other areas of my life as well.

[DeterminedJuliet]

On my normal day, I just wear a little bit of lightly tinted moisturizer, and I look okay.  When I put on some lip gloss and mascara, people fall over themselves to tell me how nice I look.  It's a treat.  I try to follow this philosophy in other areas of my life as well.

Haha, this is very true! During the last year of my undergrad, I'm sure I wore my (to-be)husband's baggy university sweater nearly every day to classes. I'd shower, but I'd put practically no effort into how I looked (I was there to learn, I didn't really give a rat's ass how I looked). One day I woke up early and thought "hey! I think I'll do my hair, makeup, and wear a nice outfit. Just for fun. Because I feel like it."

Well, Jesus, the entire day my friends kept coming up to me and were like "Wow! Omg, are you going somewhere? What's going on? You look so nice!"   They seemed so shocked, I wasn't sure whether to be flattered or offended. 

[Buddy]

Well, I just mentioned it in another thread, but I find Sarah Silverman's "Make it a treat" philosophy to be quite helpful.  Basically, she says that whatever it is, no matter how delightful, if you do it all of the time, it loses it's delight factor and becomes the normal.  So like with makeup, if you wear makeup everyday, people just see your made up face as "normal" and then they think you're dying of the plague if you ever show up without it.  Where as, if you never wear makeup, that's just the way your face looks normally, and then when you do wear a little bit of makeup, people think you look great.  On my normal day, I just wear a little bit of lightly tinted moisturizer, and I look okay.  When I put on some lip gloss and mascara, people fall over themselves to tell me how nice I look.  It's a treat.  I try to follow this philosophy in other areas of my life as well.

This one is also good if you have sensitive skin. My face is the clearest its ever been because I stopped putting on all those acne chemicals and just washed my face with warm water twice a day.

[OldGit]

This one's from Guys and Dolls.  If you think about it, there's actually an important truth hidden in there:

One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken. Then this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the jack of spades jump out of this brand-new deck of cards and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not accept this bet, because as sure as you stand there, you're going to wind up with an ear full of cider.

[Ali]

This one's from Guys and Dolls.  If you think about it, there's actually an important truth hidden in there:

One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken. Then this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the jack of spades jump out of this brand-new deck of cards and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not accept this bet, because as sure as you stand there, you're going to wind up with an ear full of cider.

Haha, I like that OG!

"If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you." - Dorothy Parker

[Tank]

This one's from Guys and Dolls.  If you think about it, there's actually an important truth hidden in there:

One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken. Then this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the jack of spades jump out of this brand-new deck of cards and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not accept this bet, because as sure as you stand there, you're going to wind up with an ear full of cider.

Haha, I like that OG!

"If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you." - Dorothy Parker

If I wore a short enough skirt, people would run away!

[Stevil]

Unless you have walked a lifetime in the other person's shoes, you should never say "you should..."


In dealing with failure, I am happy to hear my 3yr daughter say
"That's alright daddy, try again"

[DeterminedJuliet]

In dealing with failure, I am happy to hear my 3yr daughter say
"That's alright daddy, try again"

That is so sweet. <3

[Icarus]

Back in the day there were some popular little statues. There were three monkeys. One had his hands over his eyes, another had his hands over his ears, the last one had his hands over his mouth. The legend was: "See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil".

That was good advice for the most part but every now and then it did not work perfectly. In that case......... "Walk softly but carry a big stick."

When you are troubled in the late evening, it is sometimes very difficult to fall asleep. You keep thinking of all the miserable details of the day and toss and turn till the wee hours. This gimmick will work for many people who find themselves perturbed. The trick is to get your mind off all those things  Lie in bed and do some mental arithmetic. try to multiply two three digit numbers or extract the square root of a four digit number or any other calculation that borders on your capacity to do the computation. Obviously you cannot be addressing your woes while doing the math exercise. The math process cleans up your mind pretty good, and you might even find it fun, especially when you arrive at an answer that you believe to be correct. Actually you dont need to arrive at the answer but you need to try really hard.  The process is tiring and you may fall asleep soon afterward.

[The Black Jester]

My father, a clinical Psychologist of many years, once elucidated his approach to therapy by saying:

"You must be willing, in each case, to approach the person in treatment as the exception, rather than the rule."

I'm willing to bet the application of his advice is wider than the narrow limits circumscribed by his profession...

[Tank]

Back in the day there were some popular little statues. There were three monkeys. One had his hands over his eyes, another had his hands over his ears, the last one had his hands over his mouth. The legend was: "See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil".

That was good advice for the most part but every now and then it did not work perfectly. In that case......... "Walk softly but carry a big stick."

When you are troubled in the late evening, it is sometimes very difficult to fall asleep. You keep thinking of all the miserable details of the day and toss and turn till the wee hours. This gimmick will work for many people who find themselves perturbed. The trick is to get your mind off all those things  Lie in bed and do some mental arithmetic. try to multiply two three digit numbers or extract the square root of a four digit number or any other calculation that borders on your capacity to do the computation. Obviously you cannot be addressing your woes while doing the math exercise. The math process cleans up your mind pretty good, and you might even find it fun, especially when you arrive at an answer that you believe to be correct. Actually you dont need to arrive at the answer but you need to try really hard.  The process is tiring and you may fall asleep soon afterward.

I don't normally have trouble getting to sleep but I'll try this suggestion and see what happens.

[Velma]

Ask for what you want.  If they say no, you haven't lost anything.

[Dobermonster]

My father, a clinical Psychologist of many years, once elucidated his approach to therapy by saying:

"You must be willing, in each case, to approach the person in treatment as the exception, rather than the rule."

I'm willing to bet the application of his advice is wider than the narrow limits circumscribed by his profession...

I like this one. There are too many 'textbook' doctors.