My biggest problems

[Byronazriel]

lol, Food money doesn't answer my question. What do you do to get money? Where does it come from?

I'm an Author, I also do freelance work. This can usually get me between 400 and 1000 dollars a month, I get a check from my publisher on the first. If need be I can get a forward from them, or get a loan... But I don't like spending money I don't have, I've managed to keep out of debt so far.

I also have a knack for poker which usually lands me about 50-100 dollars a month.... Not a terribly reliable way to earn money however. Especially since people seem to be catching on to my usual card counting/slight of hand routine!   :hide:

We don't get pidgeons up here, only lots of crow and gulls. Corvids are notoriously clever, with good reason! I knew an old crow that would curse at you. Had quite a vocab too, all the good ones.

Seagulls aren't very good, but their eggs sure are! But you need to go out to their rocks, and that's far too much of a hassel.

We do have grouse out in the woods, and they're all kinds of stupid.

Flat meat?

Are you normal looking with a strong stomach? Gigolos for older women can turn in $300 a trick, $500 to $600 a night. Seriously two people I know have turned to the sex trade for complimentary income one is a 21yo female student the other is a fit 46(?)yo submissive bi-male. Mind you to make it work you have to be around a lot of people. You like to chat, you can escort without 'fringe benefits' for $100 an evening and you don't even have to pay for the meal!

I'm a squeamish, asexual, near shut-in with no social skills. What you're describing would be worse than going hungry for a week or so... by a wide margin.  

Actually, if you are good and have a nice compound bow, it doesn't take THAT much. Depends on what you hunt, of course, but compound bows are not heavy to hold while drawn and are thus easy to aim and less cumbersome than composite bows or ye old regular bows.

I have a fully functional, the salesman assured me of that, french longbow. Modeled after one from the hundred years war.

It's for larping reasons, mostly renaissance faires. I've fired it before, it's killer on the back...

[humblesmurph]

As of right now, I have no food. Well not NO food, but no good food. Mostly ramen, and canned food.  :verysad:

There are practical answers to these problems, but you don't need practical answers.  You have like a gazillion gods.  Just pray to all of them and at least one of them will solve your problems for you.

[KDbeads]

uhmmmmm... what's wrong with ramen noodles?  Most college aged kids LIVE on them.  Heck, broke out of work engineers live on them!  Been there, done that and have a case in the pantry right now.  I can do so many things with ramen it's ridiculous.

The following advice is coming from someone who has grown up with nearly nothing and in adult life lived through near bankruptcy, loss of income, loss of nearly everything...

First, this TV thing..... WHY?  Is the latest greatest toy the only thing that will satisfy you?  If so, you need to look deep and examine why.  I have a regular old tube style TV, it works just fine, the video games still play on it so do movies.

Second..... writing doesn't pay the bills well enough for your taste in gadgets.  Time to get a steady reliable job, even if it is flipping burgers at McD's.  Yes the job market is tough right now but it's still doable.  Get a bike a ride to work.

Third.....  Food is a priority for living.  Learn to budget and learn to find deals in the reduced meat/produce bins, I haven't paid full price for a steak in YEARS, neither should you.  I feed the 2 of us on $75 a month, sometimes $100 if I find a really good deal on something I can stick in the freezer or can.

Fourth.... Find a budgeting/economics class and take it, you need it.  Many times these can be free community service classes, take advantage of them.

Fifth.... cut the excuses, for those of us who have been there or know better... they don't work on us.

Ideas for quick cash though..... blood plasma, they used to pay $20 every visit.  Then there is sperm donation..... if you can handle that.  $20 should buy you a week or 2 of food if you shop right.

[Asmodean]

I have a fully functional, the salesman assured me of that, french longbow. Modeled after one from the hundred years war.

It's for larping reasons, mostly renaissance faires. I've fired it before, it's killer on the back...

Not really good for hunting. Requires great stamina reserve and/or even greater skill. Modern day bows with a system of wheels and strings and all the nicities do a far better job of close to medium range hunting.

[Kylyssa]

I'll trade you biggest problems.  I'm also a freelance writer of about the same income range but I'm disabled.  I'd never spend my money on a big TV instead of essentials like food or meds.  

I'd suggest you join Squidoo and plop down some bloggish material there.  I get about $100-$175 a month from that source with very little effort.  I even write for Squidoo when I'm out of my mind with fever because there's no editor or client to give a damn if I ramble or not.  The "lenses" keep bringing in income from month to month.  You can see what kind of things I have up there on my lensmaster page.  The outlay of effort is small and the income, while small, is steady.

If you aren't already ghost writing, I'd strongly recommend it.  If you are writing full-time and only making what I do in a couple of hours a day, you need to re-think who you are working for.

[omfgzmariah]

... How do you survive on 400 - 1000 a month?
Do you live with your parents?

[i_am_i]

This whole thing smells very wrong, sorry.

Thanks for telling us that you cheat at cards. Your biggest problem is that you're an admitted cheat and liar. As a poker player myself I think you deserve the miserable state you find yourself in.

Myself, I smoked a big rack of baby-back ribs last night, using my own dry rub and home-made BBQ sauce. The meat was juicy and so tender it almost fell right off the bone. Absolutely delicious. I was stuffed! I'll eat the leftovers for breakfast tomorrow.

[Byronazriel]

... How do you survive on 400 - 1000 a month?
Do you live with your parents?

I rent, it helps that I also do chores. I'm pretty much their pack mule...

My mom's not exactly the most reliable of sorts... Alcoholic psycho woman.

I'm not exactly on speaking terms with my father.

I'll trade you biggest problems.  I'm also a freelance writer of about the same income range but I'm disabled.  I'd never spend my money on a big TV instead of essentials like food or meds.

It's not that big, only 43 inches. I have food... Mostly ramen and canned food like peas, cream corn, and beans. I'd just really rather prefer having real food.

Mostly it's that I get rather distressed when I don't get my usual order of clam chowder, fried mushrooms, and diet soda on wednesdays at 3:19... I've never given it much thought, it's just an important part of the things that I  DO each week!  :cool:

[i_am_i]

You do what you're good at... So what if I can keep count? No worse than a person winning at trivial persuit because they already know the answer to every card! Not in the spirit of the game, but not technically against the rules.

Also, liar is such a harsh word. I prefer to think of it as... Creative truth management.

"Not technically against the rules?" Absolute bullshit.

Obviously you don't give a damn about anyone while claiming the right to do and say anything you want without having to consider the possible consequences.

There's nothing I hate more than anyone who cheats at poker. But in your case I encourage you to go on cheating at poker, I want you to. Please, do it as a personal favor.

[KDbeads]

I have food... Mostly ramen and canned food like peas, cream corn, and beans. I'd just really rather prefer having real food.

Sounds like a really good meal (or several) to me, considering I'm eating a barley stew right now with foods that I had to cook from dry goods instead of the quick and easy canned goods.  Took all damn day and I'm proud that I'm able to put food on the table.  And newsflash... canned goods and ramen are real food, it's the crap in the candy/chip aisle that are not.  
Your the guy who opted for the overpriced TV instead of buying additional food, so quit complaining, beggars can't be choosers.   I'm opting to pay the mortgage and light bill and not complain about what I put together for food.  I eat it and am happy I had a meal because I know all to well what it's like to go without.

[Byronazriel]

Listen, it's not like I go into casinos or rip off little old ladies...

I just make a bit of pocket money sitting in on poker night with some of the local toughs. They're the lot who break windows, and nick charity bins. Not exactly harmless, but I couldn't see them starting anything too nasty. Not yet anway, slippery slopes and all that.

At least they stopped letting me deal or shuffle...

I don't even bring my own cards, they use the same kind that can be bought at the local gas sation...

I can think of eight things I hate more than cheaters, off the top of my head!

I could make a list, if you want.

Sounds like a really good meal (or several) to me, considering I'm eating a barley stew right now with foods that I had to cook from dry goods instead of the quick and easy canned goods.  Took all damn day and I'm proud that I'm able to put food on the table.  And newsflash... canned goods and ramen are real food, it's the crap in the candy/chip aisle that are not.

I can understand the canned foods, but ramen is in no way real food. It can be described as: Water, Salt, and and Empty Carbs. It's not even proper ramen, I've had proper ramen.

Also, my TV was not overpriced... It was reasonably priced at only 350 dollars, slightly used.  

Of course 350 dollars was almost half my money... Before bills.

And I  do pay my bills, and I stay out of debt. I know my financial obligations, and I do what I can to meet them each month. I'm just having trouble going about my usual methods, and didn't get as much from my publisher as I was expecting.

I posted a sign saying I could do yardwork down at the gas station, I might be able to make twenty bucks or so doing that.

[i_am_i]

I posted a sign saying I could do yardwork down at the gas station, I might be able to make twenty bucks or so doing that.

I really hope the writing you put up here isn't an example of the writing you do for a living.

On second thought, I want it to be.

[Byronazriel]

Obviously you don't give a damn about anyone while claiming the right to do and say anything you want without having to consider the possible consequences.

I believe in universal balance, and the afterlife... I consider the consequences of my actions.

I'd describe my dealings as morally ambiguous, but I play with the same people every week and they know that I'll come out of it ahead... Yet they still let my play every single time.

It's a mutual thing, a symbiotic relationship. I get a few bucks, maybe twenty if I was pushing it, and they get a good storyteller and I'm the only one who knows how to make spinach dip just the way they like it. So it all balances out.

That couldn't be my writings... There's hardly any ninja, elves, magic, or steampowerd contraptions!

[deekayfry]

Also, my TV was not overpriced... It was reasonably priced at only 350 dollars, slightly used.  

Everything that is non-essential, is overpriced when you pay more than a penny for it.  You can survive and thrive without your TV.

Your food on the other hand is priceless, you can never have enough food, and without it you will die.

[i_am_i]

That couldn't be my writings... There's hardly any ninja, elves, magic, or steampowerd contraptions!

I think you've just pinpointed the reason why you're making such a lousy income as a writer.