dealing with evangastic christians

[Will]

If your parents don't eventually accept your new beliefs(whatever they may be), and pardon my language on this one, "Fuck 'em."

Now, there's some bad advice if ever there was any. Sure, they should accept their beliefs, you're their son. However, if they don't, that is no reason to completely "Fuck 'em" as donkey not-so-eloquently puts it.


Beliefs aside - parents can be the best people to turn to at many times in your life. They can support you in many many ways.


JD

Please stop shooting down everyone's advice. Bad parents exist. Both of my parents were bad parents. It's something some people have to deal with. I was around 14 when I realized my parents didn't always have my best interest in mind, and it helped me mature into an adult. Wicca's parents might be making one mistake they'll regret later of they may be bad parents. It's up to wicca to make the determination and grow and become his or her own person.

[future_wiccan]

well said, yesterday my friend said "I may live under your roof, but this is MY life" he said that when i told him about all this, this is why i try to accept people no matter what their inetrests are. i cant expect anyoen to live their own lives like i do mine.

[Johndigger]

Please stop shooting down everyone's advice. Bad parents exist. Both of my parents were bad parents. It's something some people have to deal with. I was around 14 when I realized my parents didn't always have my best interest in mind, and it helped me mature into an adult. Wicca's parents might be making one mistake they'll regret later of they may be bad parents. It's up to wicca to make the determination and grow and become his or her own person.

If I disagree with someone's advice - then I will shoot it down and I will give reasons for the shooting.

Of course, he should become his own person, but he came here for advice, and that's exactly what we are trying to give him. Just because parents don't hold the same views as him and they don't accept his views isn't a good reason to go to extremes.


Everyone is going to have different views to their parents - particularly teenagers - it's life. But that sole reason is no reason to break up a family.

Families are amoung the best things you can have. If not the best.


JD

[future_wiccan]

That is your opinion and its best kept to yourself.

[Johndigger]

You asked for advice. Why complain just because it doesn't suit you exactly? If my advice sounds wrong to you, then please explain to me why so.

I am trying to help you.


JD,
shrugging

[future_wiccan]

You gave yours, then you gave meaningless criticism.(Over and over.)

[Johndigger]

Well, if "meaningless" criticism is telling you to stick with your family because they are potentially some of the best people you'll ever have around you.

Then I certainly do not apologise for that.

JD

[future_wiccan]

No that is an opinion and advice... it doesnt need to be said over and over. i dont wanna soudn rude or descriminaative but you are acting in teh very way I view christians, stubborn, and annoying. atleast...that is MY opinion. Dont you know any gays that you can go and preach to? am I a bad person that you shouldnt talk to because you believe there is a god behind you? because if there is I cant see him.
That is my opinion, do you agree? didnt think so, and im not gonna say it again when you question it, adn i suggest you dont either.(That is my advice.)

[Johndigger]

That was rather rude to someone who was trying to help you.

[future_wiccan]

I dont think its right that your beliefs are limiting the rigths of people who dont share your beliefs. I think its rude that you were asked to stop shootign down comments adn you continued. I think its rude that you are gonna/did bring your kids to church when thye are too young to think for themselves and put beliefs into their sub conscience before hand, and when they get old enough to think for themselves that will confuse them and youll wake up adn go to teh bathroom only to find them and a bottle of pills on the floor because there subconcience said they werent good enough.
I cant agree with you so quit wasting your time.

[Whitney]

Well about 2months ago i told my mom that i am not a christian. She thinks i am atheist, i wont tell her that im actually tryign to get into Wicca untill she stop punishes me for this. how do i get my family to accept that im not a christian, they all think this is a phase and that i need some help to understand god. They take both physical objcts and oportunities away from me if i refuse to go to church with them. I figured you guys would know about dealing wiht these kinds of people, srry if you find this offensive.

Hi FW,

Why don't you just tell your parents you feel spiritually drawn to Wicca?  They'll take that a lot better than thinking you are an athiest and may be more willing to compromise on the church thing.  Before you talk about it with them study up on Wicca, if you haven't already.  You need to be prepared to answer any question they may have about why you want to pursue Wicca instead of Christianity.  They may have preconcieved notions that wicca is Satanic and only about orgies...so be prepared for that comming up so you can respond to their claims calmly and rationally.  The best way to let them realize that you are being serious is to be mature about the situation.

Not that you'll like this idea, but would it hurt you to go to church with them?  I'm pretty sure wiccans don't meet on sundays so there shouldn't be a conflict and if you agree to go it will make your parents happy.  I only suggest this because you are still living under their roof and should therefore at least pretend to show some respect for their rules.  It makes things easier on everyone.  Remember, they think that if you leave Jesus you're on your way to eternal hellfire their reaction is probably due to fear for your own well being.  I'm sure everything they have done is with the best of intentions...they just don't know how to handle their baby (no matter how old you get they'll view you as a baby) choosing a path they don't understand/think is false.

I will note that because of your age, even though I am sure you are serious about Wicca since you went to the effort of asking for assistance, you are likely to change your spiritual views possibly quite drastically over the next 5-10 years.  When I was your age I was very into the whole jesus preach at everyone thing...became a deist...considered pluralism...reconsidered christianity...considered satanism (not devil worship) for about two seconds...back to deist..then agnostic...and now I'm an atheist.  This is just something to keep in mind when your parents claim it is a phase...they may be right even though you are serious.  It may even help that you acknowledge why they think it is a phase but explain your sincerity and ask that they support you while you explore this path.

I hope that helps.

[Whitney]

Now, there's some bad advice if ever there was any. Sure, they should accept their beliefs, you're their son. However, if they don't, that is no reason to completely "Fuck 'em" as donkey not-so-eloquently puts it.


Beliefs aside - parents can be the best people to turn to at many times in your life. They can support you in many many ways.


JD

I'm with JD on this, family is the people who will be there when you need them the most and no one else is around; it would be terrible to destroy a relationship with your parents over disagreeing on religion.

[future_wiccan]

Im just askign for freedom to practice my religion without disturbance. It is what I believe and Im not waiting till im 18 to have the rigth to practice my own religion.
Im thinking of talking to the school counselor.
Im also scared of Joel(one of my brothers) finding out aout this, anythign that isnt his "style" is just plain wrong to him, he would hit me more. actually, only 3(parents and twin) members of my direct family thinks im an atheist, and 7 members(rest of the siblings) dont kno wbecause im afraid of how they will treat me, most of them are the only people who treat em the way i want to be treated and i dont want them to treat me diferently. srry about the typo's its 302, i cant stop thinking about this.

[SteveS]

Earghulflkjd!!   This is what creeps me out so badly about religious intolerance.  I can't imagine actually hitting anyone because they aren't an atheist.  I could imagine hitting someone because they are an a$$hole (like Ted Haggard, oops, wait, he self destructed so I guess there's no need).  Another guy posted in the intros once that his mother gave him a lecture about being an atheist, but it seemed she was primarily concerned that his views were going to cause him difficulty with jobs and society in his life, so she was mostly concerned about his welfare.  This I can take a lot better than a more "fundamental" objection.  Unfortunately, it sounds like your family is leaning more toward the latter.

About my own family;  I believe my now overt atheism bugs my mother, probably because she's not very young anymore, and occasionally I "let one fly" about how little I believe in the afterlife.  I believe this disturbs her, so I try to lay off it when we're together.  But, we get along great, I think my family is in about as healthy a shape as it is for families to be in.

Having said that, I can assure you that if they began to literally hit me, or seriously ostracize me because of my belief, then I'm with donkeyhoty I'll say "F' 'em" and move on.  It would cause me pain, but oh well.  However, I'm a self sufficient adult, so this is a whole lot easier for me to do than for you to do, which is why I suggested sticking it out with them, at least until you're out of the house.  If you can't wait, that is certainly your choice (and a brave one at that).  Personally, I would still recommend a lighter course (my advice is free, so what's it really worth? hahaha).

On a lighter note,

Says the dude with a beer avatar, youd be an awesome scout leader! nah im kidding teh avy doesnt mean anything, but thanks for sharing that with us.

Yeah, right?  I'd get busted teaching the kids to homebrew.  Imagine the camp counselor discovering our fire boiling 6 gallons of malt while we make hop additions, Hahaha!  (Brewing is very natural and scientific, you measure specific gravities, monitor temperature to activate enzymes at the right times, plus the final outcome is very enjoyable compared to the outcome of most science experiments.  Oops, wait, you're 14 --- forget I said anything.  Beer is terrible.)

[future_wiccan]

Lol.