What's on your mind today?

[thiolsulfate]

If I combine two double stuft oreos -- do they then become quadruple stuft?

This will require research.

[thiolsulfate]

Damn it! Just when I start to think I might be the fittest guy in the gym two SUPER fit guys join.

It's NOT FAIR

[Jolly Sapper]

       

I got's a full time job at the local co-op hippie food store!  22% off any thing I buy there (which is a lot since I get groceries there), a decent health care package after 90 days, and I should be makin' about $16,000 a year to start.

My wife (who'se been working two part time jobs, so from 9 AM to 9 PM most of the week) managed to make nice with a former employee of some state office and got a gubbermint job as a water quality tester for the state.  She can look forward to a government health and retirement plan and something like $20,000 to start.

   :flip:  :tgif:  woohoo  :banna:  :up:  

* We're missing a "tears of joy" emoticon =<

[curiosityandthecat]

Yay!! Congrats, Jolly!

[thiolsulfate]

Let us take this time to thank his Tastiness the FSM.

Oh FSM, who art unleavened
Delicious be thy name
Thy timer's rung
Thy sauce is done
On stove as it is in oven
Give us this day our garlic bread
And forgive us our glutton as we forgive those more gluttonous than us
Lead us to our great temptation
Or deliver us our meal

Carbo Deum

Ramen

[MommaSquid]

Yay!! Congrats, Jolly!

Ditto.  Congrats, Jolly!  

[Hat]

I'm uh...I'm a bit confused.

I have this guy friend, right, who's really awesome and stuff but he's always asking to hang out with me. We'll call him S. Now I already know that he fancies me and we sorted that out. I don't feel the same, he's cool with it etc etc. Last Friday on the last day of school, me, him and another guy friend who we'll call T went to T's house to play games. We ended up seeing the Transformers 2 movie as well. That was a week ago tomorrow.

Since school has ended, S has gotten a job at his aunts cafe. I'm proud of him for that, but also disappointed since he hasn't actually finished assignments he was supposed to hand in. He says he'll do them over the summer which is basically not going to happen for many reasons but I'm going off topic. He text me over the past 7 days with at least 4 requests to hang out. I declined them all.

I declined because while I do enjoy his company, I just  don't like being around other folk a lotta the time. I explained this to him in a text message after he sent me one saying that he cares about me a lot, but I make him 'so damn mad sometimes' because I'm 'not bothering to make an effort to spend time with him 99% of the time'.

My question is; Am I a bad person for preferring to be on my own rather than going out every day or so with friends? I mean, I don't see how it's a bad thing but it upsets me to think that people think I'm not bothering with them when I just want to have my own space for a week or two to just chill out and work on a few games or something >:

[thiolsulfate]

S sounds like a loser.

Especially now, all one has is their education and if one doesn't recognize that now they're just going to pay for it later.

Don't feel bad; you've already said you don't like him but he doesn't believe you. Here's a little insight into guys (I should know because I am one), if you want to make it clear you're not interested you must show no interest. Guys, especially high school guys, will hang on to the tiniest sliver of hope. If you even make it sort of, maybe, kind of, seem like maybe you sort of, could be, possibly interested; as far as a guy is concerned, that is confirmation of reciprocation of feelings.

He probably A) thinks that you like him or B) thinks that there's a good chance he can get you to like him, which is why he's acting like you're betraying him even though you're not even together. He will keep thinking like this. He thinks 2009 is going to be his summer love and he will continue to do so until the day before school starts again. There is little you can do about it; if he gives up chase it will be because he's decided not to pursue, not because of your rejecting him.

Where was I -- oh yeah, no, don't feel sorry. He can wait out summer. Go enjoy yourself.

edit: Just realized, I don't know your age so some of that won't apply -- still though, don't feel bad. He's being obsessive over something he has no control over. It's not your fault that he doesn't realize it.

[Hat]

D'aw, Thios. Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me, I really appreciate it <3

I'm 18 and he's 17 so yeah, the High School Scenario could possibly be what's going on here. I'm just a bit jdfgh9wfk because I'm not really sure what to think. S has had a really rough couple of months in the past so I'll admit that I've kind of been a bit kinder to him that other friends due to his situation. Hell, even his online German friend I'm in contact with told me to hang out with him a few times. I dunno, maybe it's just because I'm not used to being asked out 5 days in a row or something?

It doesn't make matters any better that I'm the kind of person who worries and gets upset easily over things, so thinking that I was being a bad friend made me a bit down. Usually in these situations I talk to my Mum, so I called her (the parents are out at the moment) on her mobile. I explain it to her that while I do enjoy his company, I prefer to be on my own. Expecting reassuring words, I was greeted with her sympathies for S and she agreed with him that it's hard to get me to go places and when I asked her if preferring to be on my own was a bad thing she said 'Yes'.

I just really confused. I mean, I saw the guys all year in class. I don't see how wanting to chill on my own for a while during my summer holidays for a week or two is bad. I still keep in contact with them and I'll eventually go to the cinema wit them again but I just want to be on my own for now D:

*sigh* People  

[thiolsulfate]

No, your mom is wrong, it's not your fault; and you shouldn't feel bad.

It's he who has a problem. Regardless of how hard he's had it none of it was your fault (I am assuming blindly here that it wasn't) so his neediness isn't your problem. No matter what he's going through, it's up to you if you want to get involved, short of that he's not your responsibility.

Also, don't bother trying to understand guys. It's only in brief fleeting moments of utter clarity that I have even an inkling of how I work.

Don't be confused, you are right for wanting time to yourself. Who the hell doesn't after getting out for summer?

edit: grammar

[michael]

My question is; Am I a bad person for preferring to be on my own rather than going out every day or so with friends?

Hell, no!  S is the one with the problem.  You have the right to be YOU, and to live in the way that makes you happy.  I always think of that old line, "You can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself."  Doesn't mean you try to hurt people -- it just means that no matter what you do, SOMEONE is going to bitch about it.  So you might as well do what makes you happy.

S sounds insecure and needy.

[curiosityandthecat]

Hat, d-m me if you need immediate results. I'm normally bored and that hits me regardless of location.

mei_guo_ren

[thiolsulfate]

If I combine two double stuft oreos -- do they then become quadruple stuft?

This will require research.

Quadruple Stuft Oreos confirmed! Resounding Success! Must spread good news.

[Hat]

The past two days were amazing because I wasn't bothered with messages...Till today.

S's first message said that he'd calmed down now and that he just wants to spend time with me and that when I say no and don't give a good reason, he gets pissed off. I told him that it's just the way I am and that I've seen him throughout the entire school year and on previous holidays and asked was it possible to have my summer to myself. His second message said that he thought it was stupid the way i go on, but that he couldn't really do anything about it. Said that it was fair that I wanted to be on my own, but he still wanted to see me like friends do and that I make that hard. He finished by saying that he was more than just my class mate.

That was where I just had it. I told him to stop making me feel bad for not going out and that he makes me question my own ways and makes me feel like I'm weird for not going out despite people saying that it's ok. I told him that I wanted to spend my summer on my own and that he could wait it out. I mentioned the saying that michael mentioned and that that was exactly what I was going to do, since I couldn't make anyone happy.

He fucking goes and makes me feel even worse by telling he that he just misses me so much.

I just told him that it was two months and that he wasn't making me feel any better. I also mentioned that I've had to wait longer to get to see more important people (a small reference into my home life. Dad took sick 8 years ago and wasn't out of hospital for almost a year.) and that he can either stop making me feel bad or I'm turning off the phone for the rest of summer. Despite feeling a little bit angry, I feel better for letting him know how this is all making me feel.

Ack I sound wee bit bitchy after reading all of that fffffffffffffffffffffffs ;-;

[Hat]

Aaaaand it's all been sorted out now. Took a while but he got it through his head that I want to be on my own.
I spoke to Mum about it too, she said "Man I wish you were 4 years old again, can we do that? There was none of this back then" which made me laugh |D;;;