Travel Stories

[Tank]

I was on a flight back from the US and I was in the window seat of a pair. Nobody had taken the seat next to me yet. We were still taking on passengers and I'm hoping nobody will sit next to me. I see a small Samoan mountain oozing down the aisle towards me! He must have been 30+ stone (420lb+) he was huge! I'm sitting there thinking "Not next to me please!". He oozes past (Thank you god!). There was already a chap in the window seat behind me. The mountain oozed into the seat beside him!

The next person down the aisle was a stewardess and she looked shocked and actually put her hand to her mouth and gasped. I couldn't bear it, I had to look round. The passenger behind me was almost literally squashed into the curvature of the fuselage, I kid you not there was no room on either side of him! It was the look on the guy's face behind me that was the really funny part, a sort of resigned pleading that this was not really happening!

The stewardess moved the Samoan mountain to a pair of seats at the back of the center seat row. He overhung the row on one side and the seat next to him was unusable!

So do you have any travel stories to tell?

[Ali]

Yes, now imagine that everyone in this awkward situation was nude to boot.  That's why I don't want the TSA to move to an "all nude" stance to protect our security!   

I once found myself strolling down the Las Vegas strip carrying a cat carrier with a duck inside next to the kid that played Thudbutt in the movie Hook (only now he was all grown up and a minor magician in LV) and his best friend, White Mike.  In retrospect, the mom in me is absolutely horrified that I would just go off on an adventure with D list celebrities and their friends (and their ducks) on a whim, but the worst thing that happened that night is that Thudbutt dared me to put a bug down my bathing suit.  *shrugs*  My early 20's were just kind of like that.

[Tank]

Yes, now imagine that everyone in this awkward situation was nude to boot.  That's why I don't want the TSA to move to an "all nude" stance to protect our security!   

I once found myself strolling down the Las Vegas strip carrying a cat carrier with a duck inside next to the kid that played Thudbutt in the movie Hook (only now he was all grown up and a minor magician in LV) and his best friend, White Mike.  In retrospect, the mom in me is absolutely horrified that I would just go off on an adventure with D list celebrities and their friends (and their ducks) on a whim, but the worst thing that happened that night is that Thudbutt dared me to put a bug down my bathing suit.  *shrugs*  My early 20's were just kind of like that.

OK. I know I'm going to regret this but, why did you have a duck?

[Ali]

It wasn't mine.  It was used in Rashaun's magic show, which is where my friend and I had met him, mere minutes before.  I'm not sure why I was carrying the duck instead of him or his friend. 

[Tank]

It wasn't mine.  It was used in Rashaun's magic show, which is where my friend and I had met him, mere minutes before.  I'm not sure why I was carrying the duck instead of him or his friend. 

You are nicely weird 

[McQ]

Three years ago I decided it would be "an adventure" for me to take the train to a meeting in Chicago, IL, rather than a quick 1.5 hr. flight. Lancaster, PA, to Pittsburgh, PA, overnight to Chicago, IL.

I almost don't need to say any more.

However, as a nice twist to what would otherwise be a typical nightmare 30+ hour journey, I had great luck with a seat mate on the leg from Lancaster to Pittsburgh. The train was nearly empty when I got on. It originated in Philadelphia, one hour east of Lancaster. I took my choice of seats. Nice and roomy, those train seats. Love them. They are huge compared to plane seats.

As we pulled out of the station for the six hour trip to Pittsburgh, a woman farther up the car got up out of her seat, grabbed her bag, and came back to my row, and asked me if the seat next to me was taken.  
Remember, nearly empty train.

I said it wasn't taken and she sat next to me. To make a long story short, over the next hour or two she slowly and without ANY PROMPTING from me, told me she had been in Philly and was on her way home outside of Pittsburgh. She had been in Philly for a retreat. For addicts.

For sex addicts.

And she proceeded to tell me all about her prowess and abilities, proclivities, etc.
What I wanted to do was to ask her why her VERY FIRST ACTION after leaving the sex addict retreat was to find a guy to spend six hours with on a train. But I didn't. Neither did I do the other obvious thing and take her up on her offers, which came out about hour three.

Longest six hours of my life!

I'm guessing she failed in the whole "recovering sex addict" thing. Her husband must be so proud.

[arian (Banned)]

I was on a flight back from the US and I was in the window seat of a pair. Nobody had taken the seat next to me yet. We were still taking on passengers and I'm hoping nobody will sit next to me. I see a small Samoan mountain oozing down the aisle towards me! He must have been 30+ stone (420lb+) he was huge! I'm sitting there thinking "Not next to me please!". He oozes past (Thank you god!). There was already a chap in the window seat behind me. The mountain oozed into the seat beside him!

The next person down the aisle was a stewardess and she looked shocked and actually put her hand to her mouth and gasped. I couldn't bear it, I had to look round. The passenger behind me was almost literally squashed into the curvature of the fuselage, I kid you not there was no room on either side of him! It was the look on the guy's face behind me that was the really funny part, a sort of resigned pleading that this was not really happening!

The stewardess moved the Samoan mountain to a pair of seats on at the back of the center seat row. He overhung the row on one side and the seat next to him was unusable!

So do you have any travel stories to tell?

LOL, .. funny.
Hey Tank, .. now here is where you should have used your camera! Even a phone-camera/video would have been memorable, ... especially the way you use it, ey?.  

Thanks for sharing.

[Ali]

It wasn't mine.  It was used in Rashaun's magic show, which is where my friend and I had met him, mere minutes before.  I'm not sure why I was carrying the duck instead of him or his friend. 

You are nicely weird 

L'il bit.   

[Tank]

@ McQ LOL!!!

That reminds me of a time I was laying in bed reading my book in a hotel.

Phone rings.

Me."Hello"
Her. "Room service. Would you like anything bringing up sir?"
Me. "No thank you."
Her. "Ok"
Me. "Bye"

I hang up. Thinks, that's bloody odd, never had room service call me before. Maybe it's a new thing to get turnover up.

Phone rings.

Her. "Look, I'm not room service, but I'm desperate for a fuck. I'm in room 123 if you'd like to come down."
Me. "No thanks."
Her. "Ok"
Me. "Bye"

I hang up. WTF! Call reception and ask if room 123 is occupied. Yes it is. I explained what happened.

Next day at reception the manager explained that they had had problems with prostitutes booking in for a night and systematically calling the rooms to get trade!

[McQ]

@ McQ LOL!!!

That reminds me of a time I was laying in bed reading my book in a hotel.

Phone rings.

Me."Hello"
Her. "Room service. Would you like anything bringing up sir?"
Me. "No thank you."
Her. "Ok"
Me. "Bye"

I hang up. Thinks, that's bloody odd, never had room service call me before. Maybe it's a new thing to get turnover up.

Phone rings.

Her. "Look, I'm not room service, but I'm desperate for a fuck. I'm in room 123 if you'd like to come down."
Me. "No thanks."
Her. "Ok"
Me. "Bye"

I hang up. WTF! Call reception and ask if room 123 is occupied. Yes it is. I explained what happened.

Next day at reception the manager explained that they had had problems with prostitutes booking in for a night and systematically calling the rooms to get trade!

Now that's what I call service! Lol! 

[Tank]

{snip}

Now that's what I call service! Lol! 

I know, very creative. It's not the first time I've been offered an 'extra blanket'. For those unaware in a lot of places going to a hotel reception and asking for an 'extra blanket' often get you a phone number, or if you're unlucky a blanket. 

[Ali]

{snip}

Now that's what I call service! Lol!  

I know, very creative. It's not the first time I've been offered an 'extra blanket'. For those unaware in a lot of places going to a hotel reception and asking for an 'extra blanket' often get you a phone number, or if you're unlucky a blanket.  

Last time I was in a hotel, I had to go down to the front office and ask for all new bedding.  Luckily, they didn't send a prostitute (although come to think of it, I totally would have paid a decent rate to have someone else change the bedding for me.)  I had a 3 year old with the stomach flu spewing fluids from both ends.

McQ - Too funny about the sex addict.  

Okay, I have another one from that famed Vegas trip.  We took a Greyhound bus to Vegas because it wasd super cheap and we were 21 and broke.  It was me and another girl.  I also used to smoke, so at the Denver bus station while we were waiting to board the bus, we were sitting outside the bus station with our luggage, smoking.

This man in this...I don't even know what to call it...an outfit I guess...approached us.  The "outfit" was a matching top, pants, and a hat that all had "Playa's Club" printed all over them.  So he approached us and introduced himself as "Tequila."  By and by, he told us that he runs an "escort service." And that he meets most of "his girls" at the bus station... By this point I was wise to the fact that Tequila wanted to be my pimp, but I've always been too interested in people for my own good, so I asked him "What made you decide to be a pimp?"  To which I got one of the truest answers ever.  Tequila said "Well, it's like my daddy used to say.  P*ssy makes the money where the corn and cabbage don't."  Wise words.

[Gawen]

On my way in a bus to sign up for the military. It wasn't a long ride, perhaps 3 hours, but I sat next to a girl who was also joining. By the time we got to the building, we found an air conditioning room, full of machinery and lots of noise. Let's just say all that noise drowned out all of our noise...*wicked evil grin with a wicked evil wink*

Family trip to Scotland back in '97. Caught a 8pm flight out of Toronto to Gatwick. Had college kids playing cards right behind us. I ate some sort of sandwich provided by the airline and it was total burp material with the odor to boot. When I started burping, I'd turn my head as far around as I could and blow it back at them. They finally caught on and asked me to stop doing it. I told them to put the cards away so I could sleep. It was an equitable trade off. Sad part is the woman in front of me turned around and gave me a piece of gum...*chucklin*...poor girl.

While leaving the Philippines, courtesy of US Navy, we had been at sea for perhaps a couple hours. Our direction and destination, I no longer remember, but we had to go through some straits. Just leaving the straits, there's the man overboard alarm. Apparently, someone didn't want to go and jumped ship. Destroyer escorts and a helicopter are alerted to find him. The helicopter finds him first and a Navy diver had to jump out to get him to put the straps on and they could raise him up into the helo. He wasn't having any of it so the diver slugged him, strapped him in and up they went. I have no clue what ever became of the jumper. But it was cool seeing all this happen.

[Anne D.]

Best thread idea ever.

[Whitney]

The last time I was in vegas I was mistaken for a hooker.  Apparently it is not normal for non-working women to walk from the new strip to the old strip by themselves....I took the bus back.