Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Screwed Over?

[Whitney]

I'd probably word it more in the terms of "I have a bit of a crush on you". With the "I like you",

I like this a lot better too; it just sounds more put together and is more direct.

The perfect time is anytime you both have relative privacy...like at one of those parties where you say you both go to (parties are loud so you can speak privately even around other people).  Privacy allows you both to speak honestly without having to worry about what others might think.

[MrStakhanovite]

It's not that 'Nice guys' get left behind, it's that they never appear confident and assertive, but D-bags do. When you ask someone out, just go for broke and do it without thinking about it. If you over think it, you won't do it, or it'll come out like "I sorta kinda like how cute you are." instead of something like, " I want to take you to this great Thai place Friday night."
Get use to "No" and keeping trying for those hail marys, because sooner or later you are going to get a "Yes".

[DeterminedJuliet]

P.S. let us know how it goes! 

[Godless]

Well I'm going to have to wait at least until this weekend because I have two tests and three interviews this week so I'm going to be super busy and I don't want to worry about it too much right now. Should I try to get an answer from her on the spot or should I leave after I tell her and give her a few days to think about it?

[MrStakhanovite]

On the spot, the more time she has to think, greater the chance she'll say no.

[DeterminedJuliet]

Well I'm going to have to wait at least until this weekend because I have two tests and three interviews this week so I'm going to be super busy and I don't want to worry about it too much right now. Should I try to get an answer from her on the spot or should I leave after I tell her and give her a few days to think about it?

See how it goes, I'd think. I'd do my best to make my feelings clear, but I wouldn't put her in a position where she feels like she's being presented with an ultimatum. For instance, if you said, "I have a confession to make, I have a crush on you," etc.etc and then said, "so would you be interested in doing something with me? Are you free sometime this week (or whatever)?" she could respond in one of three ways:

1) "No, I'm sorry, I'm not interested in you that way": In which case, you should feel proud because you had the guts to put your cards on the table and you have a resolution to your situation.

2) "Yes, that'd be nice!": In which case, Yipee! Set a time and place!

3) "Oh, I don't know, let me think about it". This is the tricky one. The only real response you can give (without seeming crazy) is "sure, that's no problem, I understand. Let me know". The thing is, what's ACTUALLY going on is one of two things: She really is surprised and she needs to think about it and consider that she might have feelings for you. Or, she already KNOWS that she's not interested in you and she is taking the coward's way out.  From personal experience, a lot of women, especially younger-college aged women, take the coward's way out.

So, if you are left in situation number three, I think the best thing to do is leave the ball in her court. If she genuinely needs some time to sort through her feelings and she realizes that you guys might have some potential, she'll come to you. If she puts things off or keeps saying things like "You're a really nice guy, I just don't know. Maybe. It's hard to say right now". That's her taking the coward's way out and your best bet is to move on. After a week or so, she really should have had time to think things through and if she still seems to be dangling you along, without any real progression, I'd say it's time to let her go.

[Tank]

Well I'm going to have to wait at least until this weekend because I have two tests and three interviews this week so I'm going to be super busy and I don't want to worry about it too much right now. Should I try to get an answer from her on the spot or should I leave after I tell her and give her a few days to think about it?

See how it goes, I'd think. I'd do my best to make my feelings clear, but I wouldn't put her in a position where she feels like she's being presented with an ultimatum. For instance, if you said, "I have a confession to make, I have a crush on you," etc.etc and then said, "so would you be interested in doing something with me? Are you free sometime this week (or whatever)?" she could respond in one of three ways:

1) "No, I'm sorry, I'm not interested in you that way": In which case, you should feel proud because you had the guts to put your cards on the table and you have a resolution to your situation.

2) "Yes, that'd be nice!": In which case, Yipee! Set a time and place!

3) "Oh, I don't know, let me think about it". This is the tricky one. The only real response you can give (without seeming crazy) is "sure, that's no problem, I understand. Let me know". The thing is, what's ACTUALLY going on is one of two things: She really is surprised and she needs to think about it and consider that she might have feelings for you. Or, she already KNOWS that she's not interested in you and she is taking the coward's way out.  From personal experience, a lot of women, especially younger-college aged women, take the coward's way out.

So, if you are left in situation number three, I think the best thing to do is leave the ball in her court. If she genuinely needs some time to sort through her feelings and she realizes that you guys might have some potential, she'll come to you. If she puts things off or keeps saying things like "You're a really nice guy, I just don't know. Maybe. It's hard to say right now". That's her taking the coward's way out and your best bet is to move on. After a week or so, she should really have had time to think things through and if she still seems to be dangling you along, without any real progression, I'd say it's time to let her go.

This!

[Godless]

I was thinking of saying something like "I feel like I need this get this off my chest. As you probably already know, I have a bit of a crush on you. I know you said you weren't interested in a relationship. But if you give me a chance, you won't be disappointed. But if you really don't want anything then I'll respect your word and won't bother you about it again."

How does that sound?

[Tank]

I was thinking of saying something like "I feel like I need this get this off my chest. As you probably already know, I have a bit of a crush on you. I know you said you weren't interested in a relationship. But if you give me a chance, you won't be disappointed. But if you really don't want anything then I'll respect your word and won't bother you about it again."

How does that sound?

Give her a dozen red roses, there's no possibility of saying the wrong thing then.

[Godless]

Wouldn't that just come across as trying too hard?

I was thinking of saying something like "I feel like I need this get this off my chest. As you probably already know, I have a bit of a crush on you. I know you said you weren't interested in a relationship. But if you give me a chance, you won't be disappointed. But if you really don't want anything then I'll respect your word and won't bother you about it again."

How does that sound?

Give her a dozen red roses, there's no possibility of saying the wrong thing then.

[Tank]

Wouldn't that just come across as trying too hard?

I was thinking of saying something like "I feel like I need this get this off my chest. As you probably already know, I have a bit of a crush on you. I know you said you weren't interested in a relationship. But if you give me a chance, you won't be disappointed. But if you really don't want anything then I'll respect your word and won't bother you about it again."

How does that sound?

Give her a dozen red roses, there's no possibility of saying the wrong thing then.

Possiblly, possibly, but it is completly unambiguious and all you need to do is smile 

[Godless]

Well, I just talked to her about 15 minutes ago. She said she isn't looking for a relationship because it would be unfair to me since she wouldn't invest the same amount of time and effort. But she seemed really cool about it so it wasn't really that awkward.

[Tank]

Well, I just talked to her about 15 minutes ago. She said she isn't looking for a relationship because it would be unfair to me since she wouldn't invest the same amount of time and effort. But she seemed really cool about it so it wasn't really that awkward.

Bugger!

[DeterminedJuliet]

Yeah, that sucks  . But at least you know now, good for you for doing it.

[BullyforBronto]

Well, I just talked to her about 15 minutes ago. She said she isn't looking for a relationship because it would be unfair to me since she wouldn't invest the same amount of time and effort. But she seemed really cool about it so it wasn't really that awkward.

Bummer. But, now that that's done, you can move on.

My advice: Learn to play guitar. Start a crappy band. Sing about stuff. Play a show or two.
I guarantee you'll meet people, and some of them will most likely be girls.