Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Screwed Over?

[Godless]

I'll be honest, the dating scene hasn't been going very well for me. Senior year in high school, I asked out the girl I really liked to prom and I wanted to continue seeing her over the summer but after graduation she completely stopped talking to me. Freshman year of college, I tried to hang out/get to know this girl that I sat next to in Resources Geology. I got her number but she didn't seem interested in doing anything. A little later, I found that I kinda liked one of my female friends and I wanted to go out with her but I got friend zoned so hard especially since she told me in a text "You're like the brother I never had!". And a few days ago, I asked this girl out to lunch who I know through one of my friends, but she said she wasn't interested in a relationship (in a text) but I still got lunch with her (which did go well) so that probably won't go anywhere. Is it just me or are many girls not interested in "nice guys" like me? What am I to do? Become a selfish asshole?

[Tank]

I'll be honest, the dating scene hasn't been going very well for me. Senior year in high school, I asked out the girl I really liked to prom and I wanted to continue seeing her over the summer but after graduation she completely stopped talking to me. Freshman year of college, I tried to hang out/get to know this girl that I sat next to in Resources Geology. I got her number but she didn't seem interested in doing anything. A little later, I found that I kinda liked one of my female friends and I wanted to go out with her but I got friend zoned so hard especially since she told me in a text "You're like the brother I never had!". And a few days ago, I asked this girl out to lunch who I know through one of my friends, but she said she wasn't interested in a relationship (in a text) but I still got lunch with her (which did go well) so that probably won't go anywhere. Is it just me or are many girls not interested in "nice guys" like me? What am I to do? Become a selfish asshole?

Be yourself and the right person will find you in the end.

[Feanor Thunder]

Yeah...life is rough bro. Its a commonly known fact that guys don't understand girls and girls don't understand guys. Way it is I guess.

--FT

[Whitney]

she said she wasn't interested in a relationship

How did that come up?

There is a difference between dating and being in a relationship.  When I met my husband neither of us wanted to be in a relationship but we were interested in dating.

[fester30]

First of all, that thing in the movie where the nerdy guy friend zones his way into dating the cheerleader doesn't really happen.  It's also rare that a female friend will set you up with one of her friends, regardless of how not interested in you she claims to be, from my experience.  If you get a girlfriend, that's one less guy around to provide the self-esteem boost she likes to have.  If you get friend-zoned, move on.  The more time you waste with a girl who doesn't want you, the less time you spend with a girl who might.

Stop trying to be friends.  If you don't establish your intentions early on, you're out of luck.  You need to be in their space, asking for dates, putting on moves, to let the girl know you're interested, before her attentions turn elsewhere.  Of course, no ALWAYS means no, but being a nice guy doesn't have to mean you don't at least try to make a move.  Give her the opportunity to say no or to stop your progress.  This way, she gets to feel sexy and wanted, but at the same time in control.  If you don't try, many women will wonder if you are even attracted to them.

By the way I'm no expert.  I was pretty much a male slut for 12 years before I met my current wife.  I had a lot of one night stands, two week affairs, etc, and never had a relationship more than 10 months until I met my wife.  I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it, and I think I'm probably a better husband for the experiences.

[Godless]

First of all, that thing in the movie where the nerdy guy friend zones his way into dating the cheerleader doesn't really happen.  It's also rare that a female friend will set you up with one of her friends, regardless of how not interested in you she claims to be, from my experience.  If you get a girlfriend, that's one less guy around to provide the self-esteem boost she likes to have.  If you get friend-zoned, move on.  The more time you waste with a girl who doesn't want you, the less time you spend with a girl who might.

Stop trying to be friends.  If you don't establish your intentions early on, you're out of luck.  You need to be in their space, asking for dates, putting on moves, to let the girl know you're interested, before her attentions turn elsewhere.  Of course, no ALWAYS means no, but being a nice guy doesn't have to mean you don't at least try to make a move.  Give her the opportunity to say no or to stop your progress.  This way, she gets to feel sexy and wanted, but at the same time in control.  If you don't try, many women will wonder if you are even attracted to them.

By the way I'm no expert.  I was pretty much a male slut for 12 years before I met my current wife.  I had a lot of one night stands, two week affairs, etc, and never had a relationship more than 10 months until I met my wife.  I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it, and I think I'm probably a better husband for the experiences.

A male slut for 12 years? Can we trade lives please? ", which is the exact wording from her text.

[fester30]

A male slut for 12 years? Can we trade lives please? ", which is the exact wording from her text.

The male slut thing is pretty easy if you don't have any intentions of actually dating someone for more than a couple weeks.  If all you want is some random hookups, and you make it clear that's what you want, you'll find it.

This girl doesn't want a relationship?  PERFECT way to start your male sluttiness (did I just make up a word?).  Tell her you don't want a relationship, either, just some boot-knocking.  Just don't use the word boot-knocking, or you won't get to.  Oh, and definitely don't pay for lunch.

[Godless]

A male slut for 12 years? Can we trade lives please? ", which is the exact wording from her text.

The male slut thing is pretty easy if you don't have any intentions of actually dating someone for more than a couple weeks.  If all you want is some random hookups, and you make it clear that's what you want, you'll find it.

This girl doesn't want a relationship?  PERFECT way to start your male sluttiness (did I just make up a word?).  Tell her you don't want a relationship, either, just some boot-knocking.  Just don't use the word boot-knocking, or you won't get to.  Oh, and definitely don't pay for lunch.

Well I'm pretty sure she isn't that type of girl. Also, I ALWAYS pay for lunch whenever I'm eating out with a girl.

[Asmodean]

Become a selfish asshole?

Well, being one, I do get enough of casual non-binding sex, but if you want something more lasting than that, I wouldn't say that's the way to go.

[JoeBobSmith]

they cannot help it

[Asmodean]

women like assholes for the same reason you and i don't want BBW's.  We and they cannot help it

Do you think it's some kind of a primal instinct..? Like, the most ruthless, aggressive guy who can still function within a herd is the most likely survivor and therefor has best genes?

[Cecilie]

women like assholes for the same reason you and i don't want BBW's.  We and they cannot help it

No.

[Tank]

I'll be honest, the dating scene hasn't been going very well for me. Senior year in high school, I asked out the girl I really liked to prom and I wanted to continue seeing her over the summer but after graduation she completely stopped talking to me. Freshman year of college, I tried to hang out/get to know this girl that I sat next to in Resources Geology. I got her number but she didn't seem interested in doing anything. A little later, I found that I kinda liked one of my female friends and I wanted to go out with her but I got friend zoned so hard especially since she told me in a text "You're like the brother I never had!". And a few days ago, I asked this girl out to lunch who I know through one of my friends, but she said she wasn't interested in a relationship (in a text) but I still got lunch with her (which did go well) so that probably won't go anywhere. Is it just me or are many girls not interested in "nice guys" like me? What am I to do? Become a selfish asshole?

Some women like assholes for the same reason [strike:3vpj1sqn]you and[/strike:3vpj1sqn] i don't want BBW's.  [strike:3vpj1sqn]We[/strike:3vpj1sqn] I and [strike:3vpj1sqn]they[/strike:3vpj1sqn] some of them cannot help it

There FIFY
 

[JoeBobSmith]

 

[JoeBobSmith]