What's on your mind today?

[Tank]

What I can say is Southwest Asia, which includes the Arabian Peninsula, Iraq, and the old Persian Empire (now known as Iran, Afghanistan, etc.)
Of course, a person so inclined could find out by checking where my IP address is.  Or you could google 379 AEW.  But all I'm allowed to say is 379 AEW or Southwest Asia.

Just curios. There is a chap on another forum who is on his way home from Afghanistan ATM. He is the liaison between the coalition forces and the Norwegian continent. He gets to retire in December at 42!

[fester30]

What I can say is Southwest Asia, which includes the Arabian Peninsula, Iraq, and the old Persian Empire (now known as Iran, Afghanistan, etc.)
Of course, a person so inclined could find out by checking where my IP address is.  Or you could google 379 AEW.  But all I'm allowed to say is 379 AEW or Southwest Asia.

Just curios. There is a chap on another forum who is on his way home from Afghanistan ATM. He is the liaison between the coalition forces and the Norwegian continent. He gets to retire in December at 42!

Well as far as the world knows, it's no secret that myself or the US military itself is here.  We're just not supposed to actually say.  I'm not that guy, I'm 33, but I appreciate his service and wish him the best in retirement!

[Cecilie]

God no longer listens to Slayer.

[wildfire_emissary]

I had a rather annoying but revealing chat with my mom and dad last night. My mom visited us, my family, two nights ago. She mentioned wanting to bring my daughter with her to the church and learn her bible lessons. I jokingly retorted that I'd rather let her read the Dhammapada than read the bible. Mom was quiet, didn't reply. Then last night, she called saying they, mom and dad, would like to talk to me about something. I went. With a thundering voice, my dad asked, "Is it true that you do not want your daughter to learn her bible lessons?" Then my childhood patriarchal fear took over. I wasn't able to answer. I left myself wide open for empty assertions. They alleged that nothing is wrong with allowing my kid to learn bible lessons for the following reasons:
1. I was raised as a bible-reading Christian and it did me good.
2. I did not become a criminal.
3. I know a lot of verses.
4. I memorized the books in the bible.
5. My name was taken from proverbs 31.
6. I gained a lot of friends from the church.
7. Jesus did not teach anything bad.
8. I am a judgmental person.
9. I am intellectually arrogant.
10. I don't know what created the first life.
11. I have to teach my kid this country's culture (part of which is largely christianized).
12. They pity my daughter.
13. I do not know what will happen to me after I die.
14. The bible did not teach me anything that had an adverse effect.
15. I am just doing this so that I can be different.

I was not able to respond to any of these obviously crooked reasons. My fear for my father when I was a kid, when he slapped me around for playing during sabbath, when he hit me with his sticks for whatever mistake I did back then, it all crept into me last night. I was back in the 80's. The only sentence I uttered int his one-way conversation was that, "I'll think about it." Before I left for home, my mom asked me, "Do you really think that there is no god?" Her eyes. She had this pitying look. Like I died or someone in the family died and she's holding back her tears. I did not reply. And dad, once again with a stammering voice, "If you will not change your mind, then I will forget you were my son!" I smiled at him. "YOU ARE INSANE", he said. With his finger pointing at my face.

I haven't slept.  

[Tank]

I had a rather annoying but revealing chat with my mom and dad last night. My mom visited us, my family, two nights ago. She mentioned wanting to bring my daughter with her to the church and learn her bible lessons. I jokingly retorted that I'd rather let her read the Dhammapada than read the bible. Mom was quiet, didn't reply. Then last night, she called saying they, mom and dad, would like to talk to me about something. I went. With a thundering voice, my dad asked, "Is it true that you do not want your daughter to learn her bible lessons?" Then my childhood patriarchal fear took over. I wasn't able to answer. I left myself wide open for empty assertions. They alleged that nothing is wrong with allowing my kid to learn bible lessons for the following reasons:
1. I was raised as a bible-reading Christian and it did me good.
2. I did not become a criminal.
3. I know a lot of verses.
4. I memorized the books in the bible.
5. My name was taken from proverbs 31.
6. I gained a lot of friends from the church.
7. Jesus did not teach anything bad.
8. I am a judgmental person.
9. I am intellectually arrogant.
10. I don't know what created the first life.
11. I have to teach my kid this country's culture (part of which is largely christianized).
12. They pity my daughter.
13. I do not know what will happen to me after I die.
14. The bible did not teach me anything that had an adverse effect.
15. I am just doing this so that I can be different.

I was not able to respond to any of these obviously crooked reasons. My fear for my father when I was a kid, when he slapped me around for playing during sabbath, when he hit me with his sticks for whatever mistake I did back then, it all crept into me last night. I was back in the 80's. The only sentence I uttered int his one-way conversation was that, "I'll think about it." Before I left for home, my mom asked me, "Do you really think that there is no god?" Her eyes. She had this pitying look. Like I died or someone in the family died and she's holding back her tears. I did not reply. And dad, once again with a stammering voice, "If you will not change your mind, then I will forget you were my son!" I smiled at him. "YOU ARE INSANE", he said. With his finger pointing at my face.

I haven't slept.  

 Oh dear, of dear, of dear. That can not have been good at all.

Now, what are you going to do about this?

It appears you have two issues to get over. One is the relationship with your bullying father and the other is your mother and fathers objection to your world view, with its consequent impact on your daughter (their granddaughter).

Your Father bullied you because he thinks he knows better than you, he could get away with it and he appears to be an aggressive man by nature. My father was a bully too, never physically but he shouted a lot and was great at passive aggressive emotional manipulation. He died 2 weeks after my 17th birthday and it took me 30 years to come to terms with his behaviour. So one should not minimise the emotional impact of his past behaviour on the current situation. So if you have problems having a discussion while he is in the room with you, don't. Either only talk to your Mother or have this debate in writing.

Firstly you have to stand up to him firmly and mean it. One possible scenario would be simply to say that in light of his behaviour (not his opinion) you will not have him in your house with your daughter, and you will not be bringing his granddaughter to see him ever again. How old is your daughter and what is her relationship like with her grand parents? You could say that should he ever raise his voice to you ever again you will simply get up and leave. You have the right to be treated in a civil manner and it's perfectly acceptable that you exercise that right. Another possibility is to have meetings at your request and have them in a semi-public place where he can't 'go off on one!', possibly a walk in a public park. I don't know you or your father at all so my advise is of necessity very general. But you need to create a circumstance which controls his behaviour because he can't.

You may wish to deal with your fathers behaviour directly. Simply write him a letter telling him the truth about how you felt as a child. Lay it out for him in plain no-nonsense terms. Even if you never send the letter it would be good for you to formalise your feelings towards him and get them out in a structured way so you can deal with them.

The second issue. That of your desire not to send your daughter to bible classes. This is going to be an odd suggestions coming from a pretty hard core atheist. But why not send her? If Christianity is such an integral part of the culture she is to grow up in you can't wrap her in cotton wool forever. She's going to have to face it sometime. So why not see the Bible class as an opportunity to inoculate her against Christianity? I went to church with my mum and talked with my dad, who was an atheist, although he never said so that I can recall. I loved science and in particularly biology. I simply didn't believe the rubbish spouted about god because it was all hogwash. Demonstrate to your daughter why the Bible is not a valid description of reality and put it in context of why we know it's rubbish but why the people who wrote it did not.

Your post has a great list of issue. Write your rebuttal to each one so when they come up again you answer is rehearsed. You could even consider writing a letter to your parents addressing each issue in detail. Again you may never send it but yo will have formalised your thought in relation to your parents views.

Lastly, what does your wife think of all this and what are her views?

Regards
Chris

PS. You could have this post made into the start of a new thread where you can discuss the issue in detail and bounce ideas off of people here to see how they are accepted.

[JoeBobSmith]

[Cecilie]

Because of the perfectionist I am, I began to re-organize the entire second floor at my workplace yesterday (a floor full of office supplies). I must have spent about 5 hours and I'm not even half-way done. It's gonna take a while, but it'll be worth it. My co-workers seemed to be pleased with what I have done this far.

[Tank]

Because of the perfectionist I am, I began to re-organize the entire second floor at my workplace yesterday (a floor full of office supplies). I must have spent about 5 hours and I'm not even half-way done. It's gonna take a while, but it'll be worth it. My co-workers seemed to be pleased with what I have done this far.

Who's been a busy little beaver then!  

[MariaEvri]

I never minded my friend being religious, but last night I had my first "preaching" from her
makes me sad, if she carries on, it might make me hang out with her  less and less

[LegendarySandwich]

I never minded my friend being religious, but last night I had my first "preaching" from her
makes me sad, if she carries on, it might make me hang out with her  less and less

Hey, if she believes in Hell, and that you'll go to it if you don't change your mind, her preaching could be testimony of how good of a friend she is. I mean, what kind of friend would let you burn in Hell for all eternity?

[JoeBobSmith]

What's on your mind today?

 

[LegendarySandwich]

What's on your mind today?

thoughts?

do you think these good people may someday wish there was a law in place to prevent them from letting someone do this to them?

I also wish there was a law in place that prevented me from getting bad grades, so I would have more motivations to be a good little boy and do my homework.

[JoeBobSmith]

[Cecilie]

I also wish there was a law in place that prevented me from getting bad grades, so I would have more motivations to be a good little boy and do my homework.

go out and be a 14yo kid...enjoy it

But being 14 sucks.

[LegendarySandwich]

But being 14 sucks.

Quoted for accuracy.

I know this is a cliche, and every teenager feels this way, but I hate still living with my parents.