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Read the Amazon reviews on this product!!!!

Started by Tank, April 24, 2012, 08:41:56 AM

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Tank

April 24, 2012, 08:41:56 AM
Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml

Quote
DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS

Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)

My wife wondered what I was laughing at!!!
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Velma

#1
April 24, 2012, 09:43:28 AM
Where's a facepalm smilie when you need it? 
Life is but a momentary glimpse of the wonder of the astonishing universe, and it is sad to see so many dreaming it away on spiritual fantasy.~Carl Sagan

Asmodean

#2
April 24, 2012, 10:09:30 AM
The things people do and the lengths they are willing to go to not to have hairy balls... Einstein was right: the world is mad and quantum theory is therefor true.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Whitney

#3
April 25, 2012, 04:42:29 AM
all of the top reviews are pretty funny...apparently that product causes a lot of pain.

xSilverPhinx

#4
April 25, 2012, 05:17:41 AM
LOL!

Love it when I run into these types of things. If the creme was explosive, he would've in the Darwin Awards ;D

I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey

Sweetdeath

#5
April 25, 2012, 01:46:36 PM
Hair remover cream is just evil in general. This review is hilarious though, especially the "i play by my own rules!" XD
Law 35- "You got to go with what works." - Robin Lefler

Wiggum:"You have that much faith in me, Homer?"
Homer:"No! Faith is what you have in things that don't exist. Your awesomeness is real."

"I was thinking that perhaps this thing called God does not exist. Because He cannot save any one of us. No matter how we pray, He doesn't mend our wounds.

Amicale

#6
April 25, 2012, 01:58:43 PM
ROFL Atsamnok! (Tank & Asmo together)

That was hilarious!  :D I started laughing out out... and my cat looked up at me, and went "Ehm??" and ran away...


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Guardian85

#7
April 25, 2012, 05:20:20 PM
Ooohhhhh..... :D Gotta breathe!

Haven't laughed like that in ages.

Just for the record, Tank/Asmo: How did you come upon this hilarity?  ;)


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Buddy

#8
April 25, 2012, 05:27:58 PM
Quote from: Guardian85 on April 25, 2012, 05:20:20 PM
Ooohhhhh..... :D Gotta breathe!

Haven't laughed like that in ages.

Just for the record, Tank/Asmo: How did you come upon this hilarity?  ;)

I think it is a side effect of being English.
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Tank

#9
April 25, 2012, 06:27:34 PM
Quote from: Guardian85 on April 25, 2012, 05:20:20 PM
Ooohhhhh..... :D Gotta breathe!

Haven't laughed like that in ages.

Just for the record, Tank/Asmo: How did you come upon this hilarity?  ;)
An Aussie mate of mine posted it on facebook.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#10
April 25, 2012, 06:29:21 PM
I think this is the gem "maroon coloured bag of agony"!!!!

If you follow the link and look at reviews there are others.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

DeterminedJuliet

#11
April 25, 2012, 07:15:02 PM
I think this one is my favourite! haha! :D

QuoteHowever if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.
"We've thought of life by analogy with a journey, with pilgrimage which had a serious purpose at the end, and the THING was to get to that end; success, or whatever it is, or maybe heaven after you're dead. But, we missed the point the whole way along; It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing, or dance, while the music was being played.

Amicale

#12
April 25, 2012, 07:30:13 PM
Quote from: DeterminedJuliet on April 25, 2012, 07:15:02 PM
I think this one is my favourite! haha! :D

QuoteHowever if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.

LOL!! :D

Ooooh, some of these are GREAT. And so obviously made up for the laugh factor, but they're still funny.

In the one star reviews, I found:

QuoteWhen I first heard about this product I must say I was excited . I ordered and received the cream and that evening liberally put the cream all over my man jungle . It was getting out of control and needed some drastic action before all was lost . If you know what I mean. Unfortunately I fell asleep . The nightmare i had was horrendeous i was in hell being chased buy a large frankfurter wearing a nazi helmit . when I woke up my man bush was still there but my fore skin had disappeared

and

QuoteI recommend diluting before use. Personally I diluted it with Deep Heat and Oven Cleaner and the resulting pain in my balls was far more bearable. Do NOT get this stuff on your bell-end.

:D


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Asmodean

#13
April 25, 2012, 07:31:57 PM
Quote from: Asmo on April 25, 2012, 06:27:34 PM
Quote from: Guardian85 on April 25, 2012, 05:20:20 PM
Ooohhhhh..... :D Gotta breathe!

Haven't laughed like that in ages.

Just for the record, Tank/Asmo: How did you come upon this hilarity?  ;)
An Aussie mate of mine posted it on facebook.
Besides, Asmos know all, do they not?  :D
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Tank

#14
April 25, 2012, 07:33:41 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 25, 2012, 07:31:57 PM
Quote from: Asmo on April 25, 2012, 06:27:34 PM
Quote from: Guardian85 on April 25, 2012, 05:20:20 PM
Ooohhhhh..... :D Gotta breathe!

Haven't laughed like that in ages.

Just for the record, Tank/Asmo: How did you come upon this hilarity?  ;)
An Aussie mate of mine posted it on facebook.
Besides, Asmos know all, do they not?  :D

I do, I do!
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.
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