Absolute 100% proof of god (Fantastically Fail)

[NothingSacred]

I was contacted via youtube by a user who assured me he had sources that would change the minds of Carlin and Dawkins if they could only see it . So, I checked it out and it was fantastically failhttp://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Bible/gods_word.htm... Post some of your favorite fantastically fail theist arguments.

[Asmodean]

BWAAHA..!  

I'm certainly gonna come and play with that one when I get home :-D

[The Magic Pudding]

incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good

So will I be OK as long as I keep control of my bowels?

[Thumpalumpacus]

I stopped reading at "1) Because it [the Bible] claims to be [evidence of god]."

If they cannot discern circular reasoning, why should I bother?

eta:  Okay, I went a read a little more.  I like the part that claims the Bible is scientifically accurate, but they forgot to mention the parts where the bible says birds are bats, and whales are fish, and pi=3.

Also, deeper in the article, the part about "Hitler was known to levitate above the floor"; in fact, I laughed my skinny ass off.  Does the author realize he's stealing from Stephen King?  Someone needs to tell him:  "Randall Flagg was fiction."

[Dretlin]

Like most people here, read number 1 and thought "Oh dear...".

[SSY]

[youtube:2s9bkpf6]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw6twe73k3Y[/youtube:2s9bkpf6]

Warning, there is MATHEMATICS in this video, as well as the most patronising introduction, to anything, ever, absolutely ever, of all time. It is made even more condescending when you realise you are being lectured by a complete and utter moron.

[AtheistInEden]

Post some of your favorite fantastically fail theist arguments.

Everything Joe Cienkowski says on Twitter. http://twitter.com/JoeCienkowski

[notself]

[youtube:f903ecvr]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw6twe73k3Y[/youtube:f903ecvr]

Warning, there is MATHEMATICS in this video, as well as the most patronising introduction, to anything, ever, absolutely ever, of all time. It is made even more condescending when you realise you are being lectured by a complete and utter moron.

This guy must teach higher mathmatics at Glenn Beck University.

[Asmodean]

I think the idiot that made that video is an idiot.    That's not how you calculate the world population and it does not double every six generations. In fact, in some places, it has been going down in the past hundred years while in others, it exploded by a factor much higher than two. Exponential growth does not make as pretty a curve as he describes. The average of all locales amounts to the population increase per generation. The average of all generation increases amounts to the total increase within a given time period.

I almost have a desire to do the ACTUAL math... Even though it'd take me months of research to do properly.

[Will]

My absolute favorites are when people attribute everyday occurrences to a supernatural creator of the universe. Example:

"One time I was in a bad mood and the sun came out."

Really?! Holy shit, did you get it on camera!?! That's easily the craziest thing I've ever heard! Wow, just wow. I mean you were sad and then, despite the fact it's never happened before, the sun, the star at the center of our universe, came out specifically to make you happy. Incredible. Just incredible.

[Asmodean]

That up there. That gets to me as well.

Ok, suppose you are ignorant enough to believe that the Earth came after men invented a hoe and planted their first crops and that evolution is a load of crap, but how does that speak in favour of there being a magical sky-daddy that does the creating in stead..? I mean, have those people ever considered what else might be there in the farthest corners of imagination..?  

[tymygy]

Nothing about Venomfangx? Nephilimfree?

those guys are the definition of "FANTASTICALLY FAIL'

Not to be too harsh, but, their dads should have pulled out...

[PoopShoot]

Not to be too harsh, but, their dads should have pulled out...

To be harsh: mom should have undid that coathanger.

I didn't even know this thread existed, but even if I had, ol' neffy has banned me more times than I care to recount.  Ok, twice, but that's both my accounts.

And SSY, that video was implosive facepalm.  Me and my buddy are both still trying to get the stupid looks off our faces.

[tymygy]

Not to be too harsh, but, their dads should have pulled out...

To be harsh: mom should have undid that coathanger.

BOOM! HEADSHOT BITCH!

yeah he banneed me too  

[Heretical Rants]

Everything Joe Cienkowski says on Twitter. http://twitter.com/JoeCienkowski

Holy crap, he's written like 100 tweets in the last hour.