Anyone here have a theist significant other?

[sleep_in_on_sunday]

But that's the thing-forcing veganism on children is EXACTLY like forcing religion on them, whether you see it that way or not.  You're passionate about the ethical treatment of animals, and other people are passionate about Jesus.  What it comes down to is the fanaticism.  The beliefs may be different, but the dogmatism is pretty much the same.  You're not willing to bend on the atheism and veganism thing.  Fine.  But you want other people to adopt your views (i.e. your girlfriend and future children), without being willing to accept the views they hold as well.  You're willing to allow a religious wedding, but are afraid it might go further than that?  Oh please.  What you really sound like is an asshole.  It's just very convenient that your girlfriend became vegan, AFTER you'd expressed your opinion on it.  If I were her, I'd be running the other direction.  The end point is that you aren't and weren't willing to accept her as a meat eating Christian, and that's fucked up.  You're no better than a religious person who is unwilling to respect atheists.  Again, you either love people or you don't.  And if you really loved her, you'd love her even if she also loved hamburgers and Jesus.

Philo just wrote what I was thinking. When you have kids and they get invited to a birthday party at McDonalds what will you do?

I don't know that I would let them go to McDonalds..... but who knows.

Why did this turn into a vegan topic anyway?  That is not even an issue.....

I am trying to find out the best way to initiate a conversation about our religious beliefs.... I was trying to find out if any of you are in the same boat... I really don't think me being atheist is going to be a problem with her, but it would be nice to hear how some of you were dealing with a similar situation.

[philosoraptor]

Oh, what a surprise.  Since I called you out for being a douche, I must be single and bitter.  I guess it will come as a surprise then when I tell you I've been with someone for seven years.  You're still missing the point-if there are certain things that you are not willing to accept in a person, than you have no business dating someone with those qualities and allowing it to get serious.  Period.  If you're unwilling to sacrifice your own beliefs or bend on them, you have no right to expect others to do what you yourself are unwilling to do, and the way your initial post came across very much read as if you're afraid you're girlfriend will *gasp* want to continue with her own religious views if you get married.

Incidentally, I was vegetarian for quite awhile.  It had a negative impact on my health, and my doctor advised me that I ought to consider eating meat again.  So I did.  I don't think there's any shame in this.  So you're comment that I'm probably the type of person who eats pork rinds (gross, by the way) and hamburgers as if that's on par with eating babies is more than a little ridiculous.  Hitler was a vegetarian too, so what's your point?  I'm not accusing you of being a genocidal dictator, but I do think you're being a hypocrite.

[sleep_in_on_sunday]

Oh, what a surprise.  Since I called you out for being a douche, I must be single and bitter.  I guess it will come as a surprise then when I tell you I've been with someone for seven years.  You're still missing the point-if there are certain things that you are not willing to accept in a person, than you have no business dating someone with those qualities and allowing it to get serious.  Period.  If you're unwilling to sacrifice your own beliefs or bend on them, you have no right to expect others to do what you yourself are unwilling to do, and the way your initial post came across very much read as if you're afraid you're girlfriend will *gasp* want to continue with her own religious views if you get married.

Incidentally, I was vegetarian for quite awhile.  It had a negative impact on my health, and my doctor advised me that I ought to consider eating meat again.  So I did.  I don't think there's any shame in this.  So you're comment that I'm probably the type of person who eats pork rinds (gross, by the way) and hamburgers as if that's on par with eating babies is more than a little ridiculous.  Hitler was a vegetarian too, so what's your point?  I'm not accusing you of being a genocidal dictator, but I do think you're being a hypocrite.

The bottom line is, I'm not a douche.... I was never a douche about being vegan or atheist.  The irony is you are a hypocrite for being as judgemental about my decision to raise a family in a vegan household as one of the christians you mention in the very same breath.

[philosoraptor]

Damn straight I'm judging you.  Because you're an absolutist.  See other posts as to why this is a bad thing.

I do love how you've singled only me out, after other male posters have agreed with me.  Maybe what you really hate is women who dare to think for themselves.  Which would explain why you're girlfriend wanting to have a religious wedding and be Christian bothers you so much.

[sleep_in_on_sunday]

Oh, what a surprise.  Since I called you out for being a douche, I must be single and bitter.  I guess it will come as a surprise then when I tell you I've been with someone for seven years.  You're still missing the point-if there are certain things that you are not willing to accept in a person, than you have no business dating someone with those qualities and allowing it to get serious.  Period.  If you're unwilling to sacrifice your own beliefs or bend on them, you have no right to expect others to do what you yourself are unwilling to do, and the way your initial post came across very much read as if you're afraid you're girlfriend will *gasp* want to continue with her own religious views if you get married.

Incidentally, I was vegetarian for quite awhile.  It had a negative impact on my health, and my doctor advised me that I ought to consider eating meat again.  So I did.  I don't think there's any shame in this.  So you're comment that I'm probably the type of person who eats pork rinds (gross, by the way) and hamburgers as if that's on par with eating babies is more than a little ridiculous.  Hitler was a vegetarian too, so what's your point?  I'm not accusing you of being a genocidal dictator, but I do think you're being a hypocrite.

The bottom line is, I'm not a douche.... I was never a douche about being vegan or atheist.  The irony is you are a hypocrite for being as judgemental about my decision to raise a family in a vegan household as one of the christians you mention in the very same breath.  And you call me a hypocrite (the IRONY)

I do appreciate the name calling though.....I'm an asshole, a douche, and now you are comparing me to Hitler?

Again, I have no problem with people eating meat.  I'm sorry being veggie didn't work out for you..... I never put it anywhere near the plane of eating babies, what are you talking about ?

[philosoraptor]

Fucking hell.  That whizzing noise?  That's the sound of a dozen missed points whizzing over your head.

[sleep_in_on_sunday]

Damn straight I'm judging you.  Because you're an absolutist.  See other posts as to why this is a bad thing.

I do love how you've singled only me out, after other male posters have agreed with me.  Maybe what you really hate is women who dare to think for themselves.  Which would explain why you're girlfriend wanting to have a religious wedding and be Christian bothers you so much.

......I'm an absolutist? Do you know me?  Have you read the other posts? You see them being judgemental and calling me names?  


Did I ever say being christian bothers me so much?

Do you have any reading comprehension skills?

[sleep_in_on_sunday]

Fucking hell.  That whizzing noise?  That's the sound of a dozen missed points whizzing over your head.

I actually pity you now... you don't get it.

[Tank]

Woooowwwwoooo nellley!!!

There is no need for anybody to personalise this. I'm reading a thread with two intelligent and committed people. Please don't hack at each other, it's not needed and it's upsetting to watch. There is no need, none whatsoever to turn this into a gender focused issue at all. I would imagine SioS feels pretty pissed off that he's being given a hard time over something that he volunteered information over and calling Philo 'bitter and twisted' is way out of order, completely unacceptable in a civil debate.

Philo said you sounded like an asshole not that you are an asshole. And SioS you do come over as a little arseholly in the OP.

Can we put the knives away please this is upsetting Tank  

[Thumpalumpacus]

2) Second of all, Phila.....sorry, you just do not get it. Not flexing on veganism is NOT like forcing religion on them. When they are of age, I will let them make their own decision. I do not want them to participate in the torturing and unethical treatment of animals while they are at a age when they do not understand. Seeing as you probably eat hamburgers and pork rinds, you are not in a position to judge me. You are the one being like the judgemental asshole here. I'm sorry if you are single and bitter.

Nonsense.  She is easily as qualified as any of us to judge for herself, and her diet is irrelevant to the matter.  Her thinking is the crux of evaluating any judgement she -- or anyone else here -- utters.

Also, what are you going to tell them when they ask why they cannot eat hamburgers at school?  Are you going to stay true to your principles of veganism, and tell them because you object to factory farming / animal cruelty etc (thus indoctrinating them with your view)?  Or are you going to risk that they absorb habits from others that you find abhorrent?

[pinkocommie]

Fucking hell.  That whizzing noise?  That's the sound of a dozen missed points whizzing over your head.

I actually pity you now... you don't get it.

I disagree.  I think she get's it.  Your pity is misplaced.

[sleep_in_on_sunday]

Fucking hell.  That whizzing noise?  That's the sound of a dozen missed points whizzing over your head.

I actually pity you now... you don't get it.

I disagree.  I think she get's it.  Your pity is misplaced.

She obviously doesn't get the point of this thread, raising kids vegan, or the fact that veganism is not an issue in my relationship.

[pinkocommie]

You mentioned being unwilling to compromise on veganism or atheism in your relationship.  You brought it up.  If you didn't want multiple people (note - she's not the only one commenting on the subject after you brought it up) commenting on it, why did you incorporate it into your OP?  Lesson learned for you - if you don't want something discussed, don't talk about it in the first place.

[Davin]

I remember when I told her I was vegan, and that if we were to ever have a child, I would be unacceptable to raise my kid in a meat eating environment. She seemed opposed to it, but I'm really not flexible.  Luckily, she eventually came around and became vegan herself. I would like to note that it was never my intention to convert her into a vegan, but when she did, I became open to pursuing this relationship on a more serious level.

If someone must meet some kind of criteria in order to become a serious partner for you, then why not use that as a screen and make sure that you don't even attempt to have a relationship with those that you know won't become serious?

I don't like extremely religious people, but instead of dating an extremely religious person until she's thinking about getting serious, then telling her that I won't get serious unless she becomes an atheist is not only a waste of time, but potentially damaging to her. Even if she says she'll become an atheist in order to get serious with me, this kind of bribery/threat conversion is never a good way for a person to accept anything, especially a way of life and/or thinking.

So the objections to your OP is that you knew before hand that your potential partner must be a vegan in order to even have a chance at a serious relationship with you and that the person you're dating decided to become a vegan after you gave her that threat/bribe.

Also, plants are living things too. They get plucked from their environment and left to slowly die on trucks and then in stores until they're cooked, eaten alive or tossed in the garbage.

[philosoraptor]

So the objections to your OP is that you knew before hand that your potential partner must be a vegan in order to even have a chance at a serious relationship with you and that the person you're dating decided to become a vegan after you gave her that threat/bribe.

This this this.  What's the point in saying you never planned on converting her to be a vegan-the fact is is that she DID convert, but only after knowing how you felt about it.  You may not have intentionally forced her, but you did plant that seed, for sure.

If veganism is the thing that is REALLY important than you, I'd seriously just get over the religion thing.  You're an atheist, she's not.  She loves you and puts up with your shit.  Unless she makes a point of preaching to you or trying to convert you on a daily basis, religion is really a non-issue.  And if you can't let the religion thing slide, than don't date her.  But it would be selfish to ask that she give it up, just because you don't agree with it.