Creative Insults

[Crow]

An old favorite of mine.

"I was thinking of something clever to say but then I realised there isn't anything about you to form a basis for an intelligent comment and really you're just a cunt".

But seeing as I like what Bud said I think the end needs an amendment. Also

"You're/it's/he's/she's/they're about as useful/desirable as aids".

[Buddy]

"It would take you two promotions just to be an asshole"

"Does your ass ever get jealous of the amount of shit that comes out of your mouth?"

"Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom manufacturer."

[Sandra Craft]

You're half an idiot and that's the good half.

[xSilverPhinx]

Another gender-specific insult:

For men: Sheesh, that time of the month again is it?

If you're saying that you're directing it at men then I'm confused.  If you are saying that to a woman and she is riding the cotton pony, it had better be a woman who is very far away.  Like have-to-take-a-plane far away.  

I once said something similar to my wife many years ago.  

Just once.

Yeah, directed to men. The more chavaunist among them 'get it' and really don't like it. There's no better way to really piss off some types.

(I wouldn't consider myself to be a radical feminist who preaches female superiority, but I've used that line once. Or twice.

[OldGit]

More good ones from Bud!

[Ali]

"That guy is a seriously vile peice of assnose in a big embroided Look At Me hat."

Please don't think I'm a jerk for quoting myself.  Buddy suggested it!

[OldGit]

You're as much use as a chocolate fireguard.

[The Magic Pudding]

"That guy is a seriously vile peice of assnose in a big embroided Look At Me hat."

Please don't think I'm a jerk for quoting myself.  Buddy suggested it!

Oh NO, another insecurity!
I hope my nose doesn't look assish in this hat.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

Southern:  He's as worthless as tits on a boar hog.

He's so low he has to look up to see hell.

Texas joke:  What do a Texas tornado and a Texas divorce have in common?  Somebody's going to lose a trailer home.

[Ali]

"That guy is a seriously vile peice of assnose in a big embroided Look At Me hat."

Please don't think I'm a jerk for quoting myself.  Buddy suggested it!

Oh NO, another insecurity!
I hope my nose doesn't look assish in this hat.

LMAO!  That hat makes your nose look quite dainty and well mannered, actually.

[Hector Valdez]

I generally refrain from insults. As they rarely are funny, and are frequently very cruel. But if you insist, here is one I have used.

"Listen. You're not very intelligent are you? Pathetic. No wonder you're dad hates you. I'm tired of you hanging on to me. I don't want to talk to you. Just kill yourself and make you're old pedophile father proud. At least then your life will be worth something. No, I'm. Not talking to you. I'm talking to a dog. Shit. Just go away."

[En_Route]

I generally refrain from insults. As they rarely are funny, and are frequently very cruel. But if you insist, here is one I have used.

"Listen. You're not very intelligent are you? Pathetic. No wonder you're dad hates you. I'm tired of you hanging on to me. I don't want to talk to you. Just kill yourself and make you're old pedophile father proud. At least then your life will be worth something. No, I'm. Not talking to you. I'm talking to a dog. Shit. Just go away."

Must come in useful at parties.

[Guardian85]

Were you born like that, or were you in a terrible accident?

[Siz]

She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

[xSilverPhinx]

"You don't matter enough to me to insult me." (for people who have a superiority complex and know it )

"If names were currency, yours would be worthless."

One aimed at someone who always pulled the race persecution card ad nauseam et infinitum whenever anybody said anything about him for wholly unracist reasons: "Heck no, I'm not that superficial". (implying that his major issue was not his skin colour, but much deeper. Took a while for him to "get".)

"Who are you calling a loser, bitch? I'm writing the book you're living."