What's on your mind today?

[ThinkAnarchy]

We have had 12 new people sign up in the last day and only 2 have posted!!!! The frustration is killing me!!! 

I sometimes wonder how many lurkers we have here.  So as of today there are at least 10!  I can understand lurking, frankly -- some people jump right in and others like to get used to the water first, and then there are those for whom visiting a forum is like reading a novel: they enjoy it without without feeling the need to write something themselves.

It's funny, because there's a forum that I used to creep around on for years. I thought all of the posters there were hilarious, so I used to read everything,  but I never posted. They were super cliquey and a bit of a "boy's club", so I never felt comfortable enough to try and establish myself or "prove" that I was as funny as everyone else. So I just read everything.

It was sort of weird because I felt like I really came to know all of them, but they had no idea that I was "following along" for years.

Sure, but when I do that with facebook I'm called a stalker. 

[Tank]

We have had 12 new people sign up in the last day and only 2 have posted!!!! The frustration is killing me!!! 

I sometimes wonder how many lurkers we have here.  So as of today there are at least 10!  I can understand lurking, frankly -- some people jump right in and others like to get used to the water first, and then there are those for whom visiting a forum is like reading a novel: they enjoy it without without feeling the need to write something themselves.

The vast majority of lukers here are Google, Yahoo and other search engine spiders updating their respective databases. Google will sometimes have 20+ links operative at one time. When I got made a Mod I banned Google! Soon worked out my mistake though 

[Tank]

We have had 12 new people sign up in the last day and only 2 have posted!!!! The frustration is killing me!!! 

I sometimes wonder how many lurkers we have here.  So as of today there are at least 10!  I can understand lurking, frankly -- some people jump right in and others like to get used to the water first, and then there are those for whom visiting a forum is like reading a novel: they enjoy it without without feeling the need to write something themselves.

I notice a lot of lurkers printing things often. I always thought they were pastors or youth leaders printing up examples of how terrible we atheists are.

Again these are usually a search engine. I don't know why the print the threads.

[Tank]

We have had 12 new people sign up in the last day and only 2 have posted!!!! The frustration is killing me!!!  

I sometimes wonder how many lurkers we have here.  So as of today there are at least 10!  I can understand lurking, frankly -- some people jump right in and others like to get used to the water first, and then there are those for whom visiting a forum is like reading a novel: they enjoy it without without feeling the need to write something themselves.

I lurked for a good week before I signed up here.

Glad you did.

[SEMO FREE THINKER]

I'm new here but civility to me means being respectful but honest.  I have had to live my life surrounded by religious people and for me the way I get along with them is just not to talk to anyone about belief or nonbelief in my case. Is this being a coward?  Sometimes I feel like they are push, push, pushing that religious stuff in my face and all I am able to do is just keep backing away from it.  When is it my turn?  How can I stand MY ground and how can I do it with civility?

[Sandra Craft]

I'm new here but civility to me means being respectful but honest.  I have had to live my life surrounded by religious people and for me the way I get along with them is just not to talk to anyone about belief or nonbelief in my case. Is this being a coward?  Sometimes I feel like they are push, push, pushing that religious stuff in my face and all I am able to do is just keep backing away from it.  When is it my turn?  How can I stand MY ground and how can I do it with civility?

I don't think you're being a coward necessarily -- it depends on the circumstances.  If being an "out" atheist could get you in serious trouble (losing a marriage, job, home, etc) or even physically harmed (as it might in some corners of the world), then you're well justified in keeping it to yourself.  And then too you might be the sort who likes their private life private and doesn't feel comfortable turning personal matters into casual conversation with just anyone -- also understandable and acceptable, a lot of us feel that way.  Forums like these are great for us -- we can talk openly with both like-minded people and the occasional friendly religious type while still enjoying privacy.  On the other hand, if you're in an open and accepting environment, free from even the threat of harm, and still not opening up to even your closest friends when they start discussing religion, there might be a cerain element of cowardice involved.  Only you can say.

As for the pushing part, I'm sure you understand that in their minds they're sharing, and with someone they have every reason to believe is like-minded.  As long as you have to, or chose to, remain closeted, that's how it's going to be.  That's one of the hugest drawbacks of being in the closet.   Not that it's going to be immediately better if you leave the closet, esp. if you live in a very religious area, because there'll be a lot effort to bring you back into the fold, most of it by people who are sincerely concerned about you and your spiritual future.  Granted you've discarded such beliefs but it's still very real and important to them.

As for civility, be civil the same way you're civil to anyone.  Try to see their point of view (if, like most of us, you've had a religious upbringing you know very well what that view is), try to speak as kindly as possible unless you're being deliberately insulted by someone who doesn't give a damn about you and handle that the same way you'd handle a non-religious insult (I prefer a frosty "I see" and then walking away, but others are quicker on their verbal feet or have more direct personalities).  And be prepared to repeat yourself.  A lot.  That's been the main thing in my experience, there are a few people I'm still repeating myself to after over 20 yrs.  It's a harder pill to swallow for some than others, and it's not really costing me that much to repeat myself.

Anyway, good luck with whatever you do and I think you'll find places like this an excellent retreat.  Here at least you're definitely not the odd one out.

[The Magic Pudding]

I notice a lot of lurkers printing things often. I always thought they were pastors or youth leaders printing up examples of how terrible we atheists are.

How do you know they are printing things?
Often when I do a Google advanced search of old posts it comes up in print format.



On some forums it's easy to unintentionally click on a members profile instead of the post.  The persons profile will be updated with latest visitors names.  I find that a bit disturbing, accidental clicks indicating an interest I don't necessarily have.

[Amicale]

At Easter dinner tonight with my family, there were 10 of us around the table, my grandfather said "OK, let's say grace" and exactly HALF the table said it out loud while the other half of us sat politely, smiling. He looked at us after, sighed, and said "pass the potatoes down to the heathens at that end of the table".

Ironically, we 'heathens' had all coincidentally sat together.  

[ThinkAnarchy]

I notice a lot of lurkers printing things often. I always thought they were pastors or youth leaders printing up examples of how terrible we atheists are.

How do you know they are printing things?
Often when I do a Google advanced search of old posts it comes up in print format.



On some forums it's easy to unintentionally click on a members profile instead of the post.  The persons profile will be updated with latest visitors names.  I find that a bit disturbing, accidental clicks indicating an interest I don't necessarily have.

Because I look under the whose online link of the site and it show's the thread the person or lurker is viewing, sometimes it say's "printing" instead of simply listing the thread.

Your reason could be why the forum shows them as printing though.

Edit: Of course since I mentioned it, nobody is printing anything, but I remember seeing something like "printing What's on your mind" listed in the threads people are viewing. 

[Sweetdeath]

At Easter dinner tonight with my family, there were 10 of us around the table, my grandfather said "OK, let's say grace" and exactly HALF the table said it out loud while the other half of us sat politely, smiling. He looked at us after, sighed, and said "pass the potatoes down to the heathens at that end of the table".

Ironically, we 'heathens' had all coincidentally sat together.  

What's the point of going through an experience like this? 

[Crocoduck]

I'm going to hell for saying this:

I'm sorry Thomas Kinkade died at 54. I'm sure his family and fans are struggling with the loss.

But I'm relieved there will be no future Thomas Kinkade artwork. It's the bane of my existence.

I don't know if your going to hell for saying that but I bet your not going to Disneyland.

[el_presidente]

I'm new here but civility to me means being respectful but honest.  I have had to live my life surrounded by religious people and for me the way I get along with them is just not to talk to anyone about belief or nonbelief in my case. Is this being a coward?  Sometimes I feel like they are push, push, pushing that religious stuff in my face and all I am able to do is just keep backing away from it.  When is it my turn?  How can I stand MY ground and how can I do it with civility?

It's all about strategy.  The best way to make your point is to pick your battles.  I'm a fan of the one-at-a-time approach, but I think it's valuable to comment on other forums and news sites whenever atheism comes up.  Lots of people want to harp on atheism as a "belief in nothing," for example, and there's always an opportunity to politely correct.  Civility sells a message better than red-faced sputtering.

The other thing to keep in mind is the audience.  You may never win over the person you're talking to, but the other people standing around may be listening and they're just as valuable.

Bottom line: don't try and win a confrontation, just make your point.  That's my take, anyway.

[The Magic Pudding]

I enjoyed this.

http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/poetica/2012-04-09/3906732

To celebrate love poetry we asked a number of well-known Australians and members of the general public to name their favourite love poem and tell us why. The result is a fine selection – and quite diverse, everything from Sappho to the Metaphysicals to Hunters and Collectors, with contributions from a playwright, a judge, a paediatrician, a philosopher, a singer/songwriter, an indigenous academic, a film director, actors, a priest, a lord mayor, a fashion designer and many others.

[Amicale]

At Easter dinner tonight with my family, there were 10 of us around the table, my grandfather said "OK, let's say grace" and exactly HALF the table said it out loud while the other half of us sat politely, smiling. He looked at us after, sighed, and said "pass the potatoes down to the heathens at that end of the table".

Ironically, we 'heathens' had all coincidentally sat together.  

What's the point of going through an experience like this? 

It was worth it. It always is. I got to see cousins, my daughter got to play tag in the backyard with other relatives. I wouldn't let one prayer wreck a dinner.

[Amicale]

I'm going to hell for saying this:

I'm sorry Thomas Kinkade died at 54. I'm sure his family and fans are struggling with the loss.

But I'm relieved there will be no future Thomas Kinkade artwork. It's the bane of my existence.

I don't know if your going to hell for saying that but I bet your not going to Disneyland.

Did I say hell? I meant Disneyland. Same thing, in my opinion.

Hmm. I enjoy Kinkade's work quite a bit. To me, it's peaceful and nostalgic.

I won't send you to Disneyland, though. The lines are too long. No, instead I'll send you somewhere more immediate. Like, say, a priest's confessional box. The lines are prettymuch non-existent there!