A Letter to Yourself, Half a Lifetime Ago

[Heretical Rants]

Those of you who love your children, be careful.

If you do anything to change the course of your life before you had those kids, even if only by a the tiniest bit, you´ll end up with different kids or no kids at all.

[Asmodean]

What, no one else thinks them lottery numbers are important..?  

[Heretical Rants]

What, no one else thinks them lottery numbers are important..?  

Yes. If everyone got this opportunity, then the lottery would become useless.

[fleamailman]

the goblin picks up the ringing phone and says his usual "...Bond...., James Bond...", "...ah pups, still that old line then, well we haven't changed, guess life can't change us..." said the goblin's own voice back at him from the other end of the line only that it was him as he had been in his youth, it continued "... anyway I can hear that I lived, so do I marry and have children then, what do I become of myself...", "...well now..." said the older goblin somewhat used to this sort of thing "...well yes I suppose, all that, you simply throw away all your youthful freedoms willynilly for some trappings of family life and those trinkets of the moneygod, you'll be basically happy but you won't quite fit into your own life it seems, mind you, I wonder who ever neatly fits into growing older...", "...cool, any advice then for my future, pups..." asked the youthful goblin thinking the question would please rather than actually wanting to listen, "...if you don't live your life at surface level, I will be proud of you I guess..." the goblin replied knowing he was wasting his breath, "...sure pups, you take care of myself then, ciou..." as they closed the conversation and put their phones down somehow neither really understood the other but they never had



24

[AlP]

Wouldn't it be more expedient to simply notify oneself that one didn't win the lottery and that one's greatest achievement in life will be to finally understand semicolons?

[TheChainSmoker]

Dear LittleSmoker,

She's cheating. The one after that will cheat. After that one, she's crazy, will cheat, and then stab you when you find out.

Have fun!

[Asmodean]

What, no one else thinks them lottery numbers are important..?  

[PoopShoot]

Who said anything about EVERYone..? The post clearly states "A letter to YOURself... ", not "A letter to every schmuck who can read"  

And every shuck who can read is sending one, meaning the jackpot of six million dollars just go split six million ways.  Congratulations on your refund.

[Asmodean]

Who said anything about EVERYone..? The post clearly states "A letter to YOURself... ", not "A letter to every schmuck who can read"  :evil:

[Byronazriel]

I wouldn't write a letter to myself, mostly because I like who I am.

That being said I would write to an alternate version of me, that would in no way effect me, and this is what I'd say:

"Stop being an asshole and learn how to deal with people before you get too screwed up, stubborn, and pathetic to do anything with yourself. You have a good deal of potential, don't waste it on garbage. You can do math, it is not hard... just boring. It will be more than worth it to spend some time going over the basics.

Also, you really should stop being such an asshole... It's embarrasing. You will never get friends that way, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking that.

Just be yourself, and learn to smile. One of the only things that I regret is that I never learned to share my feelings with others. Regardless of what Grandpa says on the matter showing emotion doesn't make you gay, It doesn't make you less of a man, it really does make you a better person. Trust me on this, if you could see how I was living now you'd do whatever you could not to end up that way."

[ElizabethPeart]

Hello younger me,


 Firstly, I'm telling you now, take up the bass guitar NOW! You'll do yourself a favor and it'll be something you've always wanted to do.

Secondly, PLEASE go and read The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine! Again, you'll save time later on....you'll see what I mean in college.

Lastly, DON'T choose classics as a degree. Do something useful, like French.

Signed by present-day me.

[trexshinigami]

Dear 14 yr old me,

Stop doing drugs. Join a sport.  Don't listen to your friends or your parents, they are messed up in ways you wont understand for a long time.  

Stop stressing about your grades, B's are fine too.  You will never thank your parents or tell them they were right despite what they say.  

Don't date that guy in 2 years, the habits you pick up will almost completely destroy your life.  Don't date the guy who moves in downstairs either (you'll see when it happens), but DO date that guy in undergrad.  He really will like you too but he doesn't tell you until years later.

Oh and you will hate vet school, go for engineering in college even though dad says women cant design race cars.  He's wrong.  In fact he's wrong about almost everything he's ever said.

Spend more time with Sasha (the dog) and Max (my lil bro).  

Relax and just enjoy doing nothing more often.

Oh yeah god is a lie stop the guilt spiral and rise above the fear.  

Love,
Your still figuring it out future self.

Wow that was rly cathartic thanks!

[tunghaichuan]

Dear Steve,

Grow up, dumbass! You're 22.5 year old, it's time you stopped acting like you're 12.

You in fact, do not know it all, not even close.

Treat your father with respect. He is right about more things than you know right now. He will die of cancer very soon, and you will regret all the nasty, harsh, cruel words you spoke to him. In the future you will be willing to give anything to take them back. You will be willing to give anything to have him back just the way he was.

Don't date Christian girls. You will want something from them that their devotion to Jesus Christ will not allow them to give you.

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are smarter than you think, better looking than you think, but you are lazy. Exercise more, stay in shape.

Practice the guitar more, you have no innate talent, so you must make up for it with hard work.

Take up judo. It will enhance your skills gained from wrestling and grappling skills are a lot more useful than karate striking skills.

Don't go into library science. It isn't really science, and you won't like working in public libraries given that you are an introvert.

Stop eating so much junk food, it will make you overweight and screw up your health.

Take up yoga, trust me on this one.

Sincerely,

Your 45yr old self.

[Asmodean]

Don't date Christian girls. You will want something from them that their devotion to Jesus Christ will not allow them to give you.

Waithwut?  

[tunghaichuan]

Don't date Christian girls. You will want something from them that their devotion to Jesus Christ will not allow them to give you.

Waithwut?  

Not exactly. Without being crass, let me say that many Christian girls/women view themselves as a bride of Christ until such time that they marry a human man. They think that having sex outside marriage is a sin and is even cheating on Jesus.  :upset: That got old in a hurry. Of course that's what I get for growing up in a primarily fundamentalist Christian state (Kansas.)