I pity you...

[Thumpalumpacus]

You must accept god! please...I do not want anyone to go to hell!
Please, my brothers and sisters, Join Christianity!

To be honest, my idea of "hell" would consist of being sentenced to an eternity in heaven having to listen to religious drivel.

[Kylyssa]

Noone has ever said we came from monkies, just that we have a common ancestor.

However, it is possible a few of us came from The Monkees, those guys got around.

[Asmodean]

Do we have the "I pity the fool"-smiley..? If not, I think we need.  

[Cecilie]

Well I don't know, what are you offering?
The Giant Rubber Duck promises to lead me over the hills and far away.
We will spend eternity in a nice bubbly bath that never goes cold.
Can Christianity compete with this?

Led Zeppelin reference!

[Will]

Not believing in the Christian god is one thing, but not believing in any god is beyond my mind!

I invite you to expand your mind.

[PoopShoot]

The big bang is just a mythical story that you poor souls tell yourselves to keep denying god.

Well, it's not like anyone's never been lied to by a priest before.

[Har]

Not believing in the Christian god is one thing, but not believing in any god is beyond my mind!
So believing in any god is just as good as believing in your god?

Why would you deny your creator?
Sometimes she makes unreasonable demands and then I need to tell her that it can't be done.

the one being that brought life and happiness into this world.
Who?

We did'nt come from monkeys.
This statement is 100% true. However we do share a common ancestor.

The big bang is just a mythical story that you poor souls tell yourselves to keep denying god.
The Bible is just a mythical story that you poor souls tell yourselves to keep denying reality.

You must accept god! please...I do not want anyone to go to hell!
Don't worry, it's all a translation error.

Please, my brothers and sisters, Join Christianity
Brothers and sisters? Oh, I guess if you take Genesis literally...

[Asmodean]

Brothers and sisters? Oh, I guess if you take Genesis literally... :raised:

[Davin]

Brothers and sisters? Oh, I guess if you take Genesis literally... :raised:

Also, if Eve was made from Adams rib... then wasn't Adam screwing himself?

[deekayfry]

Brothers and sisters? Oh, I guess if you take Genesis literally... :raised:

Also, if Eve was made from Adams rib... then wasn't Adam screwing himself?

Subsistence existence at its finest!

[PoopShoot]

Well, if Adam and Eve sired all of humanity, why is inbreeding detrimental?

[Sophus]

Well, if Adam and Eve sired all of humanity, why is inbreeding detrimental?

The fundies have a range of answers to choose from:

God works in mysterious ways.
Only He can know all the answers.
and, my personal favorite,
DNA wasn't invented yet!

[PoopShoot]

DNA wasn't invented yet!

That reminds me of a quote I once saw on fundies say the darndest things:
DNA means deoxyribonucleic ACID.  If that stuff was real and inside you, you'd be dead.

[deekayfry]

...I aaaaammmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeellllllllllltttttttttttinnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg

or


Not

[Draconicstarz88]

Why have you not offered yourself to the true god, the god of metal:

Is that Dio?