Funniest, most ridiculous aspects of religion

[AtheistInEden]

At least Zarquon turned up at the end! But as you say that was fiction.

yeah but didn't he return juuuust before the universe exploaded? or am I mistaken? If he did then it dens't count does it?

Well, he showed up at the restaurant just in time to see the show. I think. It's been a while. Might be time for a re-reading.

[KDbeads]

It was right before the universe exploded, he had enough time to say 'Sorry I'm late"

[Tank]

At least Zarquon turned up at the end! But as you say that was fiction.

yeah but didn't he return juuuust before the universe exploaded? or am I mistaken? If he did then it dens't count does it?

He turns up in The Restaurant at the end of the universe.

[MariaEvri]

At least Zarquon turned up at the end! But as you say that was fiction.

yeah but didn't he return juuuust before the universe exploaded? or am I mistaken? If he did then it dens't count does it?

He turns up in The Restaurant at the end of the universe.

right
and KAPOW

[Anthemyst]

I think my favorite subset of Christianity is the Snake Handling one: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_handling

[pinkocommie]

I <3 Moe Sizlack.

"I was born a snake handler and I'll die a snake handler."

[Tank]

I <3 Moe Sizlack.

"I was born a snake handler and I'll die a snake handler."

[The Magic Pudding]

We haven’t had an apology from a disgraced evangelist yet.
They're always good value.

And why does AtheistInEden's Moses have horns, and what's he doing to that sheep?

[AtheistInEden]

And why does AtheistInEden's Moses have horns, and what's he doing to that sheep?

Those are both excellent questions.

[AtheistInEden]

A friend just sent me this.

[Guittars]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldne ... ctims.html

Couldn't find the original article but I knew the Daily Fail would cover.

The nice thing about this ridiculous story is a) the Koran burning Christians thinking this is a good thing

b) and the most amusing part was a quote from the pastor at the church saying they were doing this because Islam is a violent religion (somewhat ironic). The response from one Muslim group "we will kill the infidels!"

Apologies for not being able to find the exact quote and its source.

[Guittars]

Addendum. The original source I got this story from:

http://www.blaghag.com/2010/08/church-s ... slims.html

[Sophus]

I came across a member of ScienceBlogs laughing at this post from a Christian website:

If you are using masturbation to medicate pain, loneliness, or brokenness, then acknowledge it and begin to understand what triggers you and how you handle certain issues.  Your brain has been conditioned to respond to hard life situations through masturbation.  It will take some time to retrain your brain and respond to these same situations by turning to Christ who is THE absolute medicator and healer.  Masturbation only medicates for a few minutes.  Christ heals for a lifetime.

:hide:

[The Magic Pudding]

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

[Sophus]

I wonder if they think wet dreams are sinful.