CRAZY FAMILY RELATIONS

happytobeme · May 24, 2010, 03:47:01 PM

Hi! I'm new to the site and also a bit of a novice on blogging, so I hope I don't embarrass myself here! My younger sister was "born-again" about 10 years ago (guess she felt she didn't get it right the first time she was born!)

Any advice on how I can maintain a semi-normal relationship with her and especially my nephew in this situation? :brick:

I feel like as he gets older, he may need a normal person to help him see that the world is not the way my sister is portraying to it him. I'd like to be around if he decides he wants to question this ridiculous faith she is forcing on him.

Thanks everyone!

Tank · May 24, 2010, 05:08:11 PM

Hi

HTBM, I live in the UK where the situation you describe is apparently a lot rarer that in the USA, so I'll just be watching to see if there is any hope!

Davin · May 24, 2010, 06:17:13 PM

I'm not sure about anything I'm going to say but here it goes anyway:

Arguing with people like that will only serve to drive you apart because they won't listen to you. The best way to handle it is to not argue about it. If she wants to tell you that you'll burn in hell, just let her know that you don't agree, but don't discuss it. If you ever do discuss it, never get angry or upset or annoyed no matter how hurtful, loud and closed off they become.

Usually even heavy fire and brimstone bible humpers can have civil interactions with the outside world. You keep yourself civil no matter how uncivilized she becomes.

I doubt that you'll be able to do anything for her, but her son might see that all the anger, hatred and "evil" is on the side he's on and not on the side his mother says it's on.

happytobeme · May 24, 2010, 06:24:54 PM

Thanks for your post, Davin. I will try to take the high road, although its pretty damn hard sometimes! The sad part is that she home schools him and doesn't work, so they're cloistered off from the "real" world and she only lets him associate with other "children of the corn" from their church, so he's really not getting other peoples views at all. I hope one day he can break away from this and at least have a chance to hear other opinions so he can make up his own mind. Since she's so scared of my views, she won't even let me babysit him unsupervised! :crazy:

elliebean · May 24, 2010, 08:26:39 PM

It's a real tragedy that such child abuse (putting it bluntly) can be allowed to continue, while all anyone can do is watch in despair. Since there is no way to stop it, I'll echo Davin's advice, and add that keeping a sense of humor and lightheartedness about it, though it's tempting to show anger or disgust, laughing it off will help show your humanity in contrast to the inhumanity of their oppressive religious views. Ultimately, the human in us responds to the human in others and empathy wins over religious [strike:3jju5q2x]brainwashing[/strike:3jju5q2x] indoctrination. Nothing is more human than laughter.

happytobeme · May 24, 2010, 08:57:38 PM

You are so right, Ellie. And it's so nice to have a place to talk to people that understand my views and are on the same wavelength as me. I ALMOST used the word brainwashing myself, but I've gotten so used to tempering what I say and choosing my words carefully so as not to offend others, not that they do the same for me! But it is definitely a form of child abuse to not allow a child to broaden their horizons and expand their little minds.

I so wish I COULD use humor with my sister, but apparently the church collected her humor in the weekly collection plate! She has no tolerance of others and NO sense of humor, so I can only laugh at her, not with her! In the immortal words of Mike Stivic from All in the Family:

QuoteThank God I'm an Atheist!

I'm sure glad I found this site! :bananacolor:

Dretlin · May 25, 2010, 01:22:46 AM

Quote from: "Tank"Hi

HTBM, I live in the UK where the situation you describe is apparently a lot rarer that in the USA, so I'll just be watching to see if there is any hope!

I agree, I have not yet heard of this happening on our shores. Maybe we are the lucky ones - for now.

elliebean · May 25, 2010, 06:01:09 AM

Quote from: "Dretlin"
Quote from: "Tank"Hi

HTBM, I live in the UK where the situation you describe is apparently a lot rarer that in the USA, so I'll just be watching to see if there is any hope!

I agree, I have not yet heard of this happening on our shores. Maybe we are the lucky ones - for now.

That's because all the [strike:2uais1q4]fanatics[/strike:2uais1q4] puritans [strike:2uais1q4]seeking new opportunites to engage in[/strike:2uais1q4] escaping religious persecution left there and came here, back in the day.

Dretlin · May 25, 2010, 01:21:27 PM

Quote from: "elliebean"
Quote from: "Dretlin"
Quote from: "Tank"Hi

HTBM, I live in the UK where the situation you describe is apparently a lot rarer that in the USA, so I'll just be watching to see if there is any hope! :hmm:

It is barely outspoken religiously as it is.

Cecilie · May 25, 2010, 01:48:33 PM

If you look at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Religious_Belief_in_North_America.png
and compare it to this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Europe_belief_in_god.svg
...you can see how much more religious North America is compared to Europe.

Dretlin · May 25, 2010, 05:42:08 PM

Quote from: "Cecilie"If you look at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Religious_Belief_in_North_America.png
and compare it to this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Europe_belief_in_god.svg
...you can see how much more religious North America is compared to Europe.

Well shit god damn. :hmm:

elliebean · May 25, 2010, 05:47:22 PM

Quote from: "Cecilie"If you look at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Religious_Belief_in_North_America.png
and compare it to this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Europe_belief_in_god.svg
...you can see how much more religious North America is compared to Europe.

Imagine how much more they would contrast if they were asked the same question. :blink:

happytobeme · May 25, 2010, 06:04:14 PM

Wow, I love this site! Finally, signs of intelligent life in the universe. That link was great. It is so great to have a place to read and discuss things with people that have brains and are not mindless sheep.

Cecilie · May 26, 2010, 06:30:42 AM

Quote from: "elliebean"
Quote from: "Cecilie"If you look at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Religious_Belief_in_North_America.png
and compare it to this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Europe_belief_in_god.svg
...you can see how much more religious North America is compared to Europe.
Imagine how much more they would contrast if they were asked the same question.

Yes, I know. But it'll give you an idea of the HUGE contrast. I was surprised to see that Czech Republic and Estonia were the least religious countries in Europe.

elliebean · May 26, 2010, 03:58:48 PM

Quote from: "Cecilie"
Quote from: "elliebean"Imagine how much more they would contrast if they were asked the same question.
Yes, I know. But it'll give you an idea of the HUGE contrast. I was surprised to see that Czech Republic and Estonia were the least religious countries in Europe.

Yeah, me too. I didn't mean that as a criticism; I was just pointing out that Europe seems to be rather off the charts, in terms of the question asked of North America, whereas Europe's question would likely not show up on the North American map. It hadn't realised the difference between the two continents was so profound in that regard.

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CRAZY FAMILY RELATIONS