Transience: an Atheist/Christian Romance

[Dristann's Girl]

I recently released my first book. Please consider checking it out and reading it yourself.

amazon.com/Transience-Ms-Christine-E-Schulze/dp/1449505589/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254409530&sr=1-12

He is twenty-two, an atheistic, homeless rogue wandering the highways of Transience, Illinois, a genius on the verge of spiraling into a deep and irrevocable depression. Then he meets a girl who, if he yet believed in such things, must surely be an angel. She is eighteen, yet still a child. She leads a sheltered life beneath the thumb of her abusive, bipolar mother. She still believes in fairy tales-and God-and is filled with a joy and hope which draws him in helplessly, like a firefly to a beautiful though dangerous light. Yet as they delve into a forbidden romance, they will each learn all is not as it appears about their seemingly perfect lover, especially as struggles over faith, love, and sexual intimacy arise. What will become of the insignificant highway man and the beloved angel maiden?

Yes, I did self-publish, though I did edit before publishing the book. I have been working with an ebook editor to publish some ebooks, so while my posts may not be editted, my books are.

[Dristann's Girl]

Hullo, my name is Christine, and I'll be honest I'm here for two reasons. First, though a Christian, discussing other religions interests me, especially considering my boyfriend is an atheist. Secondly, I'm trying to find readers for my new Christian/atheist romance book based on the early stages of our relationship. Check it out and thanks!

amazon.com/Transience-Ms-Christine-E-Schulze/dp/1449505589/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254409530&sr=1-12  
He is twenty-two, an atheistic, homeless rogue wandering the highways of Transience, Illinois, a genius on the verge of spiraling into a deep and irrevocable depression. Then he meets a girl who, if he yet believed in such things, must surely be an angel. She is eighteen, yet still a child. She leads a sheltered life beneath the thumb of her abusive, bipolar mother. She still believes in fairy tales-and God-and is filled with a joy and hope which draws him in helplessly, like a firefly to a beautiful though dangerous light. Yet as they delve into a forbidden romance, they will each learn all is not as it appears about their seemingly perfect lover, especially as struggles over faith, love, and sexual intimacy arise. What will become of the insignificant highway man and the beloved angel maiden?

[Renegnicat]

I'm sure if you actively participate in the forum, the people here would be happy to take a look at the book.
But a quick question: Did you self-publish? Print on demand or vanity press? I'm wondering because your use of diction and style of prose doesn't exactly paint a promising picture of how well written your book is. If it was accepted for publication by a printing house, on the other hand, that would go a long way toward convincing me to buy.

But anyways, welcome to the forums, Dristann's Girl. I assume your boyfriend's name is Dristann?

[Kylyssa]

The poor composition and grammar are not compelling.  Also, why is he insignificant?  Did you mean to say "his beloved angel maiden?"

If the blurb is an example of the writing inside the novel, I would gladly read it over and provide editing services.  My rate for substantive (heavy) editing is $15 per thousand words.  This includes removing redundancies, ensuring strong sentence style, strengthening focus, and repairing organizational weaknesses as well as gross editing for grammatical errors.

Welcome to the forum!

Edit: I read the samples of your novels on Amazon.  I noticed a tendency to switch tenses, use run-on sentences, and misuse homonyms.

[rlrose328]

So is the romance forbidden because he's homeless, brilliant, or an atheist?  Let me guess...  

[Whitney]

So is the romance forbidden because he's homeless, brilliant, or an atheist?  Let me guess...  

It's obviously because he is brilliant...no one every dislikes people who are homeless or atheist  

[Whitney]

I'm sure if you actively participate in the forum, the people here would be happy to take a look at the book.

I have learned not to bother reading anything long that is written by a new theist; they tend to post then run.  I doubt she wants a constructive critique of the book anyway....I can already tell by the plot that I will think it doesn't make much sense.

[TheOGMamaBear]

I'm sure if you actively participate in the forum, the people here would be happy to take a look at the book.

I have learned not to bother reading anything long that is written by a new theist; they tend to post then run.  I doubt she wants a constructive critique of the book anyway....I can already tell by the plot that I will think it doesn't make much sense.

I can't handle that kind of reading. I can't do it. I read Twilight and about killed myself, I can't allow myself to read anymore crap. Sorry I'm sticking to non-fiction for a little while. Non-fiction that's educational.

I can't handle any more brain melting.

[Squid]

I'm sticking to non-fiction for a little while. Non-fiction that's educational.

I can't handle any more brain melting.

It's much more fulfilling when you're done reading.  Hmmm...read a book about teen vampires who are questioning their sexuality in an unforgiving urban terrain like the suburbs or read Carl Sagan's deeply informative Demon Haunted World....

[Kylyssa]

Looks like she was a hit and run poster just trying to promote her new book for sale.

[Whitney]

Looks like she was a hit and run poster just trying to promote her new book for sale.

I suspected as much...I'm removing her links.  If someone really wants to see her book they can copy paste it into the browser.

[Kylyssa]

I can't handle that kind of reading. I can't do it. I read Twilight and about killed myself, I can't allow myself to read anymore crap. Sorry I'm sticking to non-fiction for a little while. Non-fiction that's educational.

I can't handle any more brain melting.

I admit that that second "X" chromosome got the better of me and I read the Twilight series.  I had to stop intermittently to bitch aloud about how bad the writing was but, yes, I read it.

[liveyoungdiefast]

Forbidden love stories can be interesting. Though I'm really happy that my girlfriend and I are both atheists, it makes everything a lot easier.

[Dristann's Girl]

Wow, so, I might post here more if you all weren't so harsh. Didn't know my posts had to be perfect for you to be interested in my book. I know how to write and have recently learned alot about editting. It takes alot of time, and with all the writing I do, I don't have time to sit here and read every single line and edit it to publishers' standards. Gee, and I call my bf critical, at least he's nice. Thanks to those who offered CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, as some weren't so harsh. On this note, I'd be happy to send anyone a free Ebook version of the book if they feel like it. And to the person who said the book wouldn't even make sense, please don't judge before you read. Thanks, have a great day!

[Recusant]

...so harsh.

I think that you're being a bit too sensitive here.  If you expect to move forward as an author, you'll soon learn that one thing you can expect is criticism.  Get used to it, and listen to it, even if you end up discounting it.

It seems that you're promoting yourself as a writer in a forum read by members of the public; your potential audience.  I think it's well worth while to spend a little time to write that self-promotion in an exemplary prose style worthy of an author people would want to read.  Thank you for at least returning to check in, proving to HAF that you aren't a mere hit-and-run advertiser.  That's worth something.