Sometimes This Really Sucks

[Chimera]

That actually sounds very close to what I'm dealing with, Lea. My sister wrote me a private message today asking me to stop posting "anti-religious" things on Facebook. I think I was very non-offensive (or tried my damnedest to be) toward her and others in the argument, and some people here agreed with me. She got very nasty and personal and got called out on it by some other atheist friends I have and didn't like it very much, but was adamant about standing by everything she said. It's hard to believe someone who says she loves me could be that heartless, bringing up personal issues from my past that have no bearing on the present whatsoever.

[LoneMateria]

People get personally offended when it comes to their religion.  Those people often view non-religion as a "personal attack" against them.  I think it has something to do with the child like mentality associated with religion, but I don't have much to back up my claim.  I don't use facebook anymore but if it were me, I understand shes family, I'd remove her from my facebook after leaving her a comment saying, "Its easier this way so we won't fight, when you calm down and realize i'm not attacking you i'd be glad to add you back".  Thats the best I an offer, if your page offends her then she doesn't need to see it, shes family if she needs you she can get in touch some other way.

A side note.  I freaking hate A/N.  The format sux, but on top of that the atheists I've encountered there are not my type of atheists.  They seem to not care that fundies keep trying (and have on occasion) to pass unconstitutional laws (for us in the states) trying to put their religion into our politics.  These people are the type who would go to the Atheist Church to make theists more comfortable with us.  I got into it with a few people and just said screw this I want to converse with atheists who have brains, so here I am .

[Chimera]

Heh. I dunno, I've found a lot of friends on there, all of whom are just as pissed as the rest of us at the religious right and their tactics. Maybe I'm just not looking in the right places...or maybe I am!

But back to my dear sister...sometimes I think it would be a good idea to remove her from Facebook, but I still don't want to do that because not only does it keep me in touch with her, but it's the only way to "see" my young nieces. I'd miss the pictures and cute videos too much. Maybe I can just take her off my wall feed and she can do the same. That way we can still be in touch but not have to worry about arguments like this again.

[LoneMateria]

Sometimes I wish there were some sort of atheist thing where I could meet with other people on a more regular basis. Not a church, per se, but some sort of social group. I belong to an atheist Meetup group in my town, and while the people are great, we only meet once a month, if that. I miss having weekly interactions like I did when I went to church. And coffee hour.  

There has to be more then 1 atheist group in your area.  Or maybe you can see if you and some of the group members want to meet some other time during the week.  Meet up at a pub for drinks or for dinner somewhere.  I'm sure there are people who want to meet more.

But back to my dear sister...sometimes I think it would be a good idea to remove her from Facebook, but I still don't want to do that because not only does it keep me in touch with her, but it's the only way to "see" my young nieces. I'd miss the pictures and cute videos too much. Maybe I can just take her off my wall feed and she can do the same. That way we can still be in touch but not have to worry about arguments like this again.

I hate to sound negative about this, but if your sister hates you for being an atheist, or being proud of it, thats going to get passed down to her kids probably.  Like I said before I understand shes family, but why should you have to hide who you are and what you believe because it makes her uncomfortable?  Personally I'd remove her until things calmed down and continue posting whatever I want to on my page.  Either she will come to her senses or she won't.  If she does you add her again and she won't bother you about what you have on your page.  If she doesn't ... well I personally wouldn't want to bite my tongue about something like this forever.  It's your decision though.  Thats my view of it ^_^

[Chimera]

I told her it was unfair to ask me to stop posting stuff like that. I have other Christian friends on FB who are always posting videos, Bible verses and other things and we leave each other alone. Seems she's the only one who has a problem with me doing what I do, but I'm not going to stop. I love her, but I can't hold my tongue either!

[Whitney]

A side note.  I freaking hate A/N.  The format sux, but on top of that the atheists I've encountered there are not my type of atheists.  They seem to not care that fundies keep trying (and have on occasion) to pass unconstitutional laws (for us in the states) trying to put their religion into our politics.  These people are the type who would go to the Atheist Church to make theists more comfortable with us.  I got into it with a few people and just said screw this I want to converse with atheists who have brains, so here I am , I guess it is good you haven't seen my posts about me being involved with NTCOF.  I guess it is also good I don't typically talk to whomever you talked to on A/N because no one I know from the "church" is passive about laws which violate separation of church and state.

[Whitney]

Sometimes I wish there were some sort of atheist thing where I could meet with other people on a more regular basis. Not a church, per se, but some sort of social group. I belong to an atheist Meetup group in my town, and while the people are great, we only meet once a month, if that. I miss having weekly interactions like I did when I went to church. And coffee hour.  

Ask the organizer if you can be an assistant organizer and host a second meeting so that the meetings can be bi-monthly.  If the organizer won't release control, start your own group and have it meet as often as you like.  The meetup group I organize only meets once a month because that's all I have time/money for.  I have an assistant organizer who does happy hours (giving us two meetups a month) when he has time.  But we also have about 5 other groups in the area that meet throughout the month...more than one group isn't really a bad thing.

[Chimera]

I like the happy hour idea!  

[LoneMateria]

A side note.  I freaking hate A/N.  The format sux, but on top of that the atheists I've encountered there are not my type of atheists.  They seem to not care that fundies keep trying (and have on occasion) to pass unconstitutional laws (for us in the states) trying to put their religion into our politics.  These people are the type who would go to the Atheist Church to make theists more comfortable with us.  I got into it with a few people and just said screw this I want to converse with atheists who have brains, so here I am lol it was freaking terrible.  I was told everything would be better if atheism was a religion so the bs/unconstitutional laws that occur would not affect us.  I got so pissed I decided that I was talking to an atheist Ray Comfort and just left.  I don't know if I mentioned on another post when i've ranted about A/N that I feel Atheist Churches are counter productive at clearing up misconceptions about atheists.  But thats a discussion for another thread ^_^

Chimera i'm glad you are taking steps to defend yourself.  I was wondering there if you were going to do it.  Hopefully you two can resolve whatever issue she has with atheism.

[Chimera]

It's helped that I've rounded up a lot of atheist friends on Facebook to back me up. If it were just me trying to stand up for myself, I'm not sure what I'd do.

[navvelline]

I just never thought it would go so far. My sister thinks I'm this hateful person now...she said she liked it better when I was a Christian and went around condemning her to hell and all that. I just wish she could see that I'm not what she thinks I am...

I'm tired of crying over it, but I think this is just the beginning.

I can really relate to your situation, something like this happened to me too. You really can find out a lot about people in times like these. Your sisters words in regards to your atheism will always cut you deep if you let them. Especially since it doesn't appear she's too understanding about your opinions on religion, etc. Sometimes people get to caught up in their religion or even themselves and don't realize the things they say to others can infact hurt them a lot. I'm sure as time goes by dealing with situtions like the one you're in now will get easier. I hope it does!

[karadan]

It's helped that I've rounded up a lot of atheist friends on Facebook to back me up. If it were just me trying to stand up for myself, I'm not sure what I'd do.

I read the entire thread on FB but was a little hesitant to write anything. I guess anything constructive had already been said by other HAF people.

It is a sad situation