Almost can't help but say something.

[Moosader]

I've been kind of annoyed at this lately, but I know it'd be super-disrespectful to say what's on my mind.

My step-dad's uncle's wife was diagnosed with some sort of cancer, and it was looking really terrible, it was even in her bone.
About a month ago everyone received phone calls at how she miraculously recovered and there was no more cancer.  So, they threw a party last month for "all her angels who prayed for her".

From what my parents say, they weren't religious at all prior to this disease, but now they're posting stuff like

As it is a scientific fact that person's that are prayed for heal faster and have a greater survival rate that those who don't, no one can deny that your prayers and positive thoughts and energy have helped us.

Our most sincere, heartfelt Thank You's to all of you angels that have helped carry us through.

In a way, I want to link them to articles about how praying doesn't help anything, but I know it wouldn't be effective.  I went to the recovery party even though I'm not someone who prayed, and felt kind of excluded, as if I weren't actually invited.

Now, I think knowing people care about you is one thing, but I consider praying just a way for people to THINK they're doing good without actually doing anything at all.

I probably shouldn't say anything on the family's message board, but should I even bother if they say something in person?  I'm not terribly close to any of them, and I feel like they're all condescending to me anyway, though more because I'm 21 and younger than them, than because of my lack-o-faith (which they don't know about, but I think my parents are kinda vocal).
I don't know, I'm torn, but I feel like even if I posted links to articles against prayer and stuff they'd just brush it off.

Just another area of life where I feel excluded because of what I don't believe in.

[Reginus]

ROFL just stumbled apon this:

http://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/articles/id/aboutspiritualresearch/SpiritualPractice/prayer/howprayerworks

Apperently it actualy works, you just have to do it right.

[Moosader]

ROFL just stumbled apon this:

http://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/articles/id/aboutspiritualresearch/SpiritualPractice/prayer/howprayerworks

[skurry]

Can someone link the article where the experiment showed people who were prayed for did worse?

[Moosader]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12082681/

That's the main one I could find.

Results showed no effect of prayer on complication-free recovery. But 59 percent of the patients who knew they were being prayed for developed a complication, versus 52 percent of those who were told it was just a possibility.

[iNow]

Can someone link the article where the experiment showed people who were prayed for did worse?

I posted a few here:
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=3847&p=49403#p49403

I think you're asking about the first one.

[Recusant]

...should I even bother if they say something in person?

What possible benefit is there in this, for you or for them?  If you want to build a reputation for yourself within the family as an insensitive heel, then by all means scoff at their beliefs and point out their delusions.  In my opinion though, there is really nothing to be gained by this.  Most likely the cancer is in temporary remission, and will return, bringing tragedy with it.  Far better to stifle your scorn and let your folks enjoy the comfort which their mythology brings them, while they can.

[rlrose328]

Unfortunately, Recusant has a very valid point.  Whenver my mom asks if she can pray for me or my son when he's having a bad week, I say, "Yes, please."  She knows I'm an atheist but what possible good can come of telling her that her prayers mean absolutely nothing to me or my son?  That though she and everyone she knows in her 500 family congration have been praying for my soul for over 20 years, I'm still an atheist?  If her god were listening, wouldn't he have done something by now?  Her prayers are her own waste of time, not mine.

I know the biggest thing you want to point out isn't just that their prayers are useless but that they are relying on faulty "science."  But in the end, it won't matter to them, it will just further frustrate you, and really, you don't want to shit where you eat.  Just nod, smile, and say you're happy she's recovered, bite your tongue and get on with your life.  Family is not the audience to listen to an anti-prayer rant, no matter how well meaning or rational it may be.

I know... it's just more  :hissyfit: rather than  :hide:

[Moosader]

I know... it's just more  :hissyfit: rather than  :hide:

Yeah really.  It stuns me that someone's faith can be strengthened by getting cancer and then getting OVER cancer, but being left permanently damaged and having to be on medication that makes you loopy for life.  The uncle is now on antidepressants and their life isn't ever going to be the same.  God's totally awesome.  

Also, let's give credit to God and people who prayed, rather than, y'know, the doctors. '_'

[McQ]

I feel your frustration, Moosader. And tomorrow night I'll have to put up with possibly hundreds of people telling me and others how much faith, prayer and miracles help in making people with cancer get better. I'll be at the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's annual "Light The Night" celebration, which is actually a good thing. Especially since my son is the honored guest (Hodgkin's Lymphoma Survivor). I'm one of the speakers, and you can bet I will be talking about how advances in medicine have contributed to the nearly 90% survival rate in patients who get treatment.

But I know that I'll get tons of people talking to me about the miracle and how faith was so crucial in healing him and others. Since I work closely with the LLS for my job, I have to be very diplomatic with these people. Since it's not a religious based group, it shouldn't be bad, but I do have to prepare for those individuals who are a bit over the top with the sky pixie stuff.

[skurry]

McQ, I am glad to hear your son was one of the lucky ones.  

Perhaps it wouldn't be the right, but also the perfect, time to bring up the "prayer does nothing speech" in you speech?

What do you think? Science and Religion are always head to head and obviously science has prevailed in this situation.

[McQ]

McQ, I am glad to hear your son was one of the lucky ones.  

Perhaps it wouldn't be the right, but also the perfect, time to bring up the "prayer does nothing speech" in you speech?

What do you think? Science and Religion are always head to head and obviously science has prevailed in this situation.

I think, in this case, it would be inappropriate to put that into my speech. The LLS is a non-religious (i.e. not sponsored by nor particularly interested in religion) non-profit organization. It's just that there will be patients, former patients and families at the event that are religious. This is Lancaster County, PA, the home of the Amish and Mennonites, after all. I just have to deal with the families, survivors, etc. on an individual basis that will be earnestly thankful for the prayers they received - and talking with me about it. These people also believe in and utilized medicine via their physicians, but they just also happen to believe prayer helps.

My goal is to remind people how much the LLS has given to them, how much access they gave to free care and medicine, and to ask them to keep supporting the LLS and those who need its services. Without the advancement of science, there would be no way to celebrate the evening.

[Ninteen45]

Prayer is quite odd. It can come as a form of of the placebo effect, which in this case it may have helped, or the more common mocebo.

[Arctonyx]

Prayer is quite odd. It can come as a form of of the placebo effect, which in this case it may have helped, or the more common mocebo.

I don't have the link at hand. But didn't a study into prayer discover that it either had no effect, or either made patients do slightly worse due to complications?

[iNow]

Yep.  A few of them have.  See my post above.