your butthole has a . . . finger? print?

[billy rubin]

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41551-020-0534-9

Abstract

Technologies for the longitudinal monitoring of a person's health are poorly integrated with clinical workflows, and have rarely produced actionable biometric data for healthcare providers. Here, we describe easily deployable hardware and software for the long-term analysis of a user's excreta through data collection and models of human health. The 'smart' toilet, which is self-contained and operates autonomously by leveraging pressure and motion sensors, analyses the user's urine using a standard-of-care colorimetric assay that traces red–green–blue values from images of urinalysis strips, calculates the flow rate and volume of urine using computer vision as a uroflowmeter, and classifies stool according to the Bristol stool form scale using deep learning, with performance that is comparable to the performance of trained medical personnel. Each user of the toilet is identified through their fingerprint and the distinctive features of their anoderm, and the data are securely stored and analysed in an encrypted cloud server. The toilet may find uses in the screening, diagnosis and longitudinal monitoring of specific patient populations.

the smart toilet examines your butthole when you sit down, identifies you by your unique pucker, and then uploads what it finds out about you to the cloud.

this used to be a proper country

[Recusant]

Now that's some properly kinky medical thinking. 

I don't imagine it will be a common home improvement, but for a certain obsessive and wealthy demographic, like a gift from heaven, or somewhere.

[Dark Lightning]

Not a chance I'm buying into that tech. I'm sure that there is some celebrity shaming or something else. Someone "leaks" it... 

I'm reminded of an old medical joke. Murphy goes to the doctor because he has a sore elbow. The doctor gives him a vial to piss in and sends him on his way. Murphy is looking at the vial and trying to figure out how pissing in it is going to help his elbow. So has his wife, daughter and dog piss in it. The results come back- your wife has syphilis, your daughter is pregnant, your dog is in heat, and if you don't quit masturbating, that elbow is never going to get better.