News:

if there were no need for 'engineers from the quantum plenum' then we should not have any unanswered scientific questions.

Main Menu

Free Tickets for the Big Time Show

Started by forevernewton, March 21, 2009, 10:15:50 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages1 2
User actions

forevernewton

March 21, 2009, 10:15:50 PM
The Creator is presenting a Big Time Show, an exceptional event no one should miss!!!

But the tickets are way too expensive, since the Big Time Show is so perfect, the tickets are quite costly. The Creator set the price, so there is no way to alter or negotiate the fee. The price for the tickets is that people have to love the Creator above everything and people have to be as PERFECT as HE IS.

So no one can go. Out of the Event there will be no fun at all, no reason, no intelligence, no self- concept and no way to ever get into the Big Time Show, once it is started.

The Creator wants people to be at the Event, It will be so cool and He wants to share His Feast with the humans.

But the Creator would not lower His standards. The tickets are not cheap; are indeed very expensive and the price should be paid, because the Creator Himself and His Big Time Show are worth it. It is a big value deal for humans, but still, no person can pay the price.

The Almighty Creator then decided to send Jesus, who would be Perfect and would always Love the Creator above all.

By being Perfect and by Loving the Creator, Jesus got the tickets. He was treated with no fun and no reason, he was even killed. But He never quit Loving the Creator and He never quit being Perfect. Jesus finally paid the very expensive price, just to get the tickets for us and share the Big Time Show with us.
Now, the only thing you have to do the get into the Big Time Event is to ask Jesus to give you a ticket, It is paid for!!!

Jesus says that if you believe, the ticket is yours. He did all that so you do not miss the Best Event Ever!!!

You have not idea what it is like. It feels cool and nice to embrace the Creator, BUT YOU HAVE NOT IDEA, AND THERE ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS TO BE EMBRACED BY THE CREATOR!

NO ONE CAN TELL YOU HOW AWSOME IT FEELS TO BE EMBRACED BY THE CREATOR!!!

Jesus can set you free. If you ever feel tired of carrying your yoke, the LOVING CREATOR will be there for you, and will make a party to celebrate your freedom.

McQ

#1
March 21, 2009, 10:18:46 PM
Steee-rike Two!
Elvis didn't do no drugs!
--Penn Jillette

PipeBox

#2
March 21, 2009, 10:24:33 PM
The creator apparently can't change the price he set, nor just throw open the door and put a free sign out front.  Also, wonder abounds as to why he'd set a price no one could pay if he wanted anyone to see the show.

Also, a bit of an aside, but I heard the runtime for the show is all eternity, and the credits play all the way through.  I also understand no one can leave the show once they're there.  Not terribly interested, especially seeing as how the reviews will never come out, and the previews always look good.   ;)
If sin may be committed through inaction, God never stopped.

My soul, do not seek eternal life, but exhaust the realm of the possible.
-- Pindar

PipeBox

#3
March 21, 2009, 10:26:44 PM
Quote from: "McQ"Steee-rike Two!
Bah, can the next one be a foul?  This guy ain't so bad, he's just a bit preachy.  That was probably a copy'n'paste from somewhere else on the web, but at least it wasn't spiteful to us or freedom.   :D
If sin may be committed through inaction, God never stopped.

My soul, do not seek eternal life, but exhaust the realm of the possible.
-- Pindar

Hitsumei

#4
March 21, 2009, 10:30:20 PM
Quote from: "forevernewton"The price for the tickets is that people have to love the Creator above everything and people have to be as PERFECT as HE IS.

The last time I tried that pick up line I got slapped pretty hard.
"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." ~Timothy Leary
"Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution." ~Bertrand Russell
"[Feminism is] a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their

Ihateyoumike

#5
March 21, 2009, 10:32:55 PM
Don't worry everyone. I have recently snuck a video camera into this big show and filmed the entire event. I placed multiple people with recording devices in different locations to make sure to have the best audio feed to splice with the video. I have placed this pirated video on multiple torrent sites across the web which I would link to, however, it's against the rules of this forum. No need to pay the price the god of this event is asking, just do a simple google search and find the pirated copy. Trust me, it's not worth the asking price to see in person.  ;)
Prayers that need no answer now, cause I'm tired of who I am
You were my greatest mistake, I fell in love with your sin
Your littlest sin.

Sophus

#6
March 21, 2009, 10:34:24 PM
Yes, yes... very poetic, like every religion. So where does the proof come in?
‎"Christian doesn't necessarily just mean good. It just means better." - John Oliver

curiosityandthecat

#7
March 21, 2009, 10:39:47 PM
Hold on, hold on, I've got something that pertains to this, I know I do...

Ah, here it is.

Your "Big Time Show" will never be as cool as this:



And what's with all the yokes, lately? I mean, it is the year of the Ox (牛), but still.
-Curio

brekfustuvluzerz

#8
March 22, 2009, 05:35:47 PM
i read two thirds of the op without checking the worldview of the poster. i was laughing because i thought it was an atheist posting in a sarcastic tone! it sounded so ridiculous i thought it was a joke. why the hell cant the hard assed creator just lower the damn price, especially in this economy?!

Quote from: "forevernewton"It feels cool and nice to embrace the Creator

is this sentence hilarious or is it just me. it feels cool and nice to walk bare foot in the sand, and i dont have to live up to an impossible standard to experience it! if english is not the op's first language then i apologize. but either way, this is not really selling it.
"(insert favorite carl sagan quote here)" - Carl Sagan

Ninteen45

#9
March 22, 2009, 05:54:08 PM
Quote from: "forevernewton"The Creator is presenting a Big Time Show, an exceptional event no one should miss!!!

The price for the tickets is that people have to love the Creator above everything and people have to be as PERFECT as HE IS.

It will be so cool and He wants to share His Feast with the humans.

It feels cool and nice to embrace the Creator,

NO ONE CAN TELL YOU HOW AWSOME IT FEELS TO BE EMBRACED BY THE CREATOR!!!

Best Penis joke ever?
Now I can be re-gognizod!

G.ENIGMA

#10
March 23, 2009, 01:33:12 AM Last Edit: March 23, 2009, 01:37:46 AM by G.ENIGMA
Quote from: "Ihateyoumike"Don't worry everyone. I have recently snuck a video camera into this big show and filmed the entire event. I placed multiple people with recording devices in different locations to make sure to have the best audio feed to splice with the video. I have placed this pirated video on multiple torrent sites across the web which I would link to, however, it's against the rules of this forum.

No need to pay the price the god of this event is asking, just do a simple google search and find the pirated copy. Trust me, it's not worth the asking price to see in person.  :P  ... cant see it under "the Big Time Show torrent sites"  :eek:  why is it against forum rules to link to publicly available material? :unsure:
To those who are overly cautious, everything seems impossible.

Ihateyoumike

#11
March 23, 2009, 01:36:29 AM
Quote from: "G.ENIGMA"I hate torrent sites ... they want you to give them your computer -  searched google ... cant see it :)
Prayers that need no answer now, cause I'm tired of who I am
You were my greatest mistake, I fell in love with your sin
Your littlest sin.

G.ENIGMA

#12
March 23, 2009, 01:39:06 AM
Quote from: "Ihateyoumike"
Quote from: "G.ENIGMA"I hate torrent sites ... they want you to give them your computer -  searched google ... cant see it :)


you bustard :rant:
To those who are overly cautious, everything seems impossible.

VanReal

#13
March 23, 2009, 01:42:00 AM
What did Ebert & Roebert say about this?  I don't usually attend anything they haven't reviewed.  And I prefer DVDs to going out, I'll wait for Mike's copy is available.
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. (Kathy Norris)
They say I have ADHD but I think they are full of...oh, look a kitty!! (unknown)

Whitney

#14
March 24, 2009, 12:21:59 AM
Jesus is God right?  So how does his buying tickets from himself fix the expense issue?  Seems like a lot of trouble just to be able to announce you decided to hand out the tickets to anyone with faith.
Print
Go Up Pages1 2
User actions