Parents and Confirmation?

[Emor]

Hey, I was just wondering if anyone's been in a similar problem too me.
Well, I knew it was going to happen some time this year, but I just kept ignoring it, but a couple of days ago, I got a letter in regards to my confirmation.
I've already confronted my Mum in regards to me not wanting to do my confirmation, but she went ballistic, no exaggeration, and took it way too personally. I don't want to bash her or anything, but she's not even that good of a Catholic, to be frank. She doesn't go to Church anywhere near every week, for one, and she had an abortion. I have NO problem with people having abortions, but from the reaction I got from her, she just seemed like a complete hypocrite. I know I can't really judge people without being in that situation, but yeah, I just think she was being highly hypocritical, acting as if I'd killed someone or something, when all I said was I didn't want to take it this year(not even that I didn't want to do it).
I've already made the mistake of giving her the letter, and she said we'd discuss it on Wednesday night, which has already past, so I'm under the assumption that I'll be discussing it to day.
I just want to know what I should do?
I don't actually have any problem doing it, I just don't see it as a very moral thing to do.
I've thought about making the church not wanting to give me confirmation(basically bashing every point they make), but I'm not sure about that.
Also, for those wondering, my Dad doesn't really care.
EMZ=]

[gwyn428]

I just want to know what I should do?

That's entirely up to you.  

And why would you not even object to participating in Catholic rituals if you are an Atheist? When I left Islam, I did not pretend to still be a Muslim around the people I knew who are Muslims and I did not keep up with "excuse me, I need to do my salaat." There is no need to pretend to be superstitious or religious if you do not believe in any of it.

I've thought about making the church not wanting to give me confirmation(basically bashing every point they make), but I'm not sure about that.

Tell them straight up that their little ritual does not do anything and that you don't believe in God anyway. Why would they want to give you Confirmation then?

[seasonsofmadness]

So I'm assuming that this means you're still living with your parents, and it would cause a lot of problems for you if you told them you're an atheist. I really don't know what age catholics do confirmation at...

[curiosityandthecat]

I dunno... I've never had any experience with anything like this. I'm interested to know how it works out, though. G'luck!

[Whitney]

If you tell the priest that you are doubting (or be straight forward and tell him you don't believe) he most likely will suggest you put off participating in confirmation till you are "spiritually" ready.

Of course, that won't make your mom any happier.  Yet, you could have the priest handle your mom on this one.  This might be one case where the priest will be on your side...but, he'll probably go on some spiel about lost sheep and feeling compelled to herd them back to the flock.

[Kyuuketsuki]

I just want to know what I should do?

To my mind it depends on how far you are willing to push it and unfortunately these things (rightly or wrongly) seem to matter to you and to others around you ... they think their god is important, you think it equally important that you do not say any vows under in the name of that god and I admit I would see it the same way.

I've been married to my gorgeous wife nearly 25 years and our marriage was in a CofE church ... whilst I enjoyed the events at the time (entirely prepared to go with the flow because she wanted a church wedding) my views have subsequently hardened and I cannot help but think to myself that my marriage vows are based on a lie, fortunately this year we are re-taking our vows and this time we will have a humanist minister.

Back to your situation, I think you just have to decide how much it means to you, how immoral or hypocritical you think it would be to take such vows to a god you don't believe in ... if you can't do it then you have no choice but to cause some offence, some hurt to people around you.

I'm a confirmed Catholic BTW ... I was 8 when I was so how I was expected to make a decision about such things at that age is beyond me.

Good luck.

Kyu

[Emor]

Thanks for all your replies. I'm most likely going to be doing it D:.
My Mum said something like, 'It's like church, it's better to do it than not do it. It's more symbolic than anything...'. I honestly don't know what she means, AFAIK, one of the mere 7 sacraments isn't just symbolic... it's very important.
But, yeah, doesn't look like I have any choice whilst under her jurisdiction xD. I asked some Catholics what they think I should do, and they seemed to be more upset that an Atheist was going to be lying in, 'the house of God' about believing in him than anything else, so, I guess it's the church lost since I don't have that many strong thoughts. It'd probably cause more trouble than it's worth me not doing it anyway. When I'm 18 I will be notifying my parents that I am definitely Atheist.
EMZ=].

[Loffler]

Hey, I was just wondering if anyone's been in a similar problem too me.
Well, I knew it was going to happen some time this year, but I just kept ignoring it, but a couple of days ago, I got a letter in regards to my confirmation.
I've already confronted my Mum in regards to me not wanting to do my confirmation, but she went ballistic, no exaggeration, and took it way too personally. I don't want to bash her or anything, but she's not even that good of a Catholic, to be frank. She doesn't go to Church anywhere near every week, for one, and she had an abortion. I have NO problem with people having abortions, but from the reaction I got from her, she just seemed like a complete hypocrite. I know I can't really judge people without being in that situation, but yeah, I just think she was being highly hypocritical, acting as if I'd killed someone or something, when all I said was I didn't want to take it this year(not even that I didn't want to do it).
I've already made the mistake of giving her the letter, and she said we'd discuss it on Wednesday night, which has already past, so I'm under the assumption that I'll be discussing it to day.
I just want to know what I should do?
I don't actually have any problem doing it, I just don't see it as a very moral thing to do.
I've thought about making the church not wanting to give me confirmation(basically bashing every point they make), but I'm not sure about that.
Also, for those wondering, my Dad doesn't really care.
EMZ=]

Whether or not someone has had an abortion is not a measure of how good a Christian they are. That's not how Christianity works. In fact Christianity is specifically marketed to people with a lot to be ashamed of. Thieves and hookers and stuff.

[curiosityandthecat]

In fact Christianity is specifically marketed to people with a lot to be ashamed of. Thieves and hookers and stuff.

[VanReal]

Whether or not someone has had an abortion is not a measure of how good a Christian they are. That's not how Christianity works. In fact Christianity is specifically marketed to people with a lot to be ashamed of. Thieves and hookers and stuff.

The OP did not say a good Christian, he/she said a good Catholic and having an abortion makes you a bad catholic and one that would send the priest into a tizzy since a woman's purpose on this earth is to be fruitfull.  They don't even allow birth control, so this would be way off the scale of sins.

[Loffler]

Whether or not someone has had an abortion is not a measure of how good a Christian they are. That's not how Christianity works. In fact Christianity is specifically marketed to people with a lot to be ashamed of. Thieves and hookers and stuff.

The OP did not say a good Christian, he/she said a good Catholic and having an abortion makes you a bad catholic and one that would send the priest into a tizzy since a woman's purpose on this earth is to be fruitfull.  They don't even allow birth control, so this would be way off the scale of sins.

And so she'd have to do hail marys and stuff right?

[SSY]

Ah, nothing like good old fashioned religious intolerance is there?

It's a shame that were you a muslim or something, people would be horrified at you being forced into this rubbish, but an atheist garners no sympathy.

[VanReal]

And so she'd have to do hail marys and stuff right?

Actually I think that's still a mortal sin and even doing a rosary or two will not help.  (Unless the catholic church has loosened up in the last 30 years.)

[Loffler]

And so she'd have to do hail marys and stuff right?

Actually I think that's still a mortal sin and even doing a rosary or two will not help.  (Unless the catholic church has loosened up in the last 30 years.)

Wikipedia says "Mortal sin, according to the beliefs of Roman Catholicism, and some Protestant denominations, is a sin that, unless confessed and absolved (or at least sacramental confession is willed if not available), condemns a person's soul to Hell after death."

So confession and absolution fixes it. Isn't that what we're talkin about? Or is the confessional actually a dunking booth or something?

[VanReal]

And so she'd have to do hail marys and stuff right?

Actually I think that's still a mortal sin and even doing a rosary or two will not help.  (Unless the catholic church has loosened up in the last 30 years.)

Wikipedia says "Mortal sin, according to the beliefs of Roman Catholicism, and some Protestant denominations, is a sin that, unless confessed and absolved (or at least sacramental confession is willed if not available), condemns a person's soul to Hell after death."

So confession and absolution fixes it. Isn't that what we're talkin about? Or is the confessional actually a dunking booth or something?

Hmm, I don't agree with wiki on that one, unless they are allowing absolution on these things.  Suicide is a mortal sin for example and you can repent and request sacramental confession as you die and you will not be absolved.  Often times the last rights and holy benediction is also denied.  When my grandmother had an emergency histerectomy after her 6th child was born her priest pleasantly came to the hospital to inform her of the mortal sin (no longer fruitful) and that she would be going to Hell.  She killed herself by train years later (she was bipolar so it wasn't due to this news) only because she new she was going to hell anyway.  She wouldn't have done that could she have been absolved of that sin.

Again, the church may have loosened up a bit, which they generally have to do in order to maintain control through generations of change.