Hiyas!

[PipeBox]

Obviously new here.  Why I'm here is because life just sent me crashing through the freethought wall.  I mean, I was always a rational person, but religion was an area that was to remain untouched, beyond reproach even in my own mind.   Thing of it is, I had my doubts for some time, minor details, or even large ones other had brought up with me.  I was actually fielding questions to a Christian friend when he unintentionally "broke" his own religious outlook.  He couldn't see what he had just done, he thought it was perfectly acceptable while my stomach caved in.  I had considered myself something of an agnostic before that conversation, a Christian agnostic if you will.  Registering on this forum would have been too much for me.  The word "atheist" too much of a burden.  He was talking me back toward the religion, restoring my faith, if you will.  It wasn't any one thing that made me step over the edge.  Rather, the whole later half of the conversation.   I'm sure some of you might get a laugh at the places I was desperately trying to rationalize things that couldn't be, I might laugh at them eventually, but it sort of hurts, still very new to me.

I have never admitted to anyone I had such far reaching doubts, and only rarely had serious discussions of faith.  Only what was required to resubscribe to that faith.  Here, about 12 hours ago, I had the experience of making some stunning realizations, while deciding that I do consider myself intelligent enough to find base problems with Christianity (saying that feels a bit proud, but agnosticism/atheism feels incredibly humble when I think about it), all while "coming out" to my closest friends.  I don't think "rollercoaster ride" is remotely accurate, and after some net searching, I don't find similar stories or anything to make it easier.  I don't have any regret in shedding my superstitions, I'm not sad or worried about that.  I felt almost righteous when it happened, as though I had seen past some great evil, something they weren't willing to do.  But my situation, has me in all kinds of emotional distress.  I think it's sad this all happened so fast, that it couldn't have gone down some other way.  Sad that I find no parallels and feel more distant relating to my friends than I ever have before.  We'll still be friends, indeed, these are some of the least biggoted people I know.  But it's something I don't have in common with them anymore.

I hope that adequately describes my situation, any support at all would be great.

Oh, yeah, I live in a southern rural area, I'm 20, still living with my folks (it was hard enough telling them I had a different political view   ) when I'm not at school.  This forum handle, to my knowledge, has never been used before and is unique, I don't want anyone that knows my standard screen name to find it here.  I'm not sure what it could mean for me.

After getting a few replies and welcomes here, I'll find a proper forum and try to get some answers to questions along the lines of how one lives life on the other side.  Religion I sorted for myself, or I'd not be here.  I made my choice, and it was not one of spite.  Though expect a philosophical question or two, they happen.

I think that covers it, even if it doesn't, I'm rambling at this point, so this is the cutoff.

[curiosityandthecat]

Support is one thing you will most definitely find here, and similar stories abound.   It takes guts to question things you've known as immutable truths your entire life, and I commend you on that. I'm sure you won't regret it. Again, welcome!

[afreethinker30]

I think we can all understand how you feel about people finding out.It takes time to tell close friends and family how you feel.And alot of the time you are treated like your a bad person for it.I think people just assume that you believe what they do,and feel threatened when they find out you don't.It's up to you if you want others to know you are freethought.You can find some great support here on the forum.There are so many people on here that have lost god in different ways.Some quickly or over a long time frame.And so many different things have started their path to freethought.

[Whitney]

Hi Pipe, welcome to the forum.

[Chimera]

Welcome to the forum

[PipeBox]

Thanks for the greetings, and I found that thread in the philosopy forum.  Before I go here, I'd like to say my first post may be a bit needy, so to speak.  I had expressed doubts to my friends for years, and was, since middleschool, of a more liberal mind.  I don't think I could've handled it as a fundie.  But I've debated my pals ad nauseum, allowed my arguments to be brought down to the "we can't know anything (reality is subjective)" level which usually ended it.   I'm sure they knew where I was headed, and are very distraught now that I'm doomed, or, having accepted Jesus, at the very least that I've taken up the role of the science-mongering, overthinking, willful heathen.  But they probably expected it, or at least considered it a possibility.  But up until last night, I was "loyal."  Up until last night, I quietly accepted I wasn't allowed to think for myself, that even the most basic logic problems couldn't apply.   I've thought to call myself agnostic in the past, but never atheist.  So I guess last night was my fall-through, and unlike before, I don't think my views will be going back.

I ought to go order my thoughts in that other thread.  It'll help me, possibly help others, and be there for posterity should I ever want to look back.  You know, unless the forums get shutdown.  

Did I mention you guys have a great emoticon set?

[Asmodean]

Welcome! The bathrooms are that way >>>

... ...  

[Jolly Sapper]

Guten tag, buenos dias, what's up homeskillet, and heya.

[McQ]

Welcome to the forum, and thanks for letting us know about you and how you came to be here. I guarantee that if we find some of your thoughts laughable, many of us would also be laughing at ourselves. I, like some others here, am a former christian. Quite devout for some time. Seems like a lifetime ago. Trying to defend the faith was how I came to realize it was chock full of holes.

So again, welcome, and enjoy the fellowship of the unbelievers!

[rlrose328]

Welcome and thanks for sharing your story.  Good idea on the unique username... I always use this one and one day, Mom went searching for my name because she forgot my website name.  She found me on many atheist websites and wow, it wasn't pretty.  I had to repeat my "I'm an atheist Mom" story at least 4 times because she kept conveniently forgetting we'd discussed it previously.  Good to avoid that.

You're among friends here, rest assured.  Ask and you'll get answers.  You might not always agree with them or even like them, but you WILL get answers.  

[MommaSquid]

Welcome to the forum, PipeBox.   Enjoy your stay!