New Atheist

[NearBr0ken]

Hi all, I'm a new atheist.  I need some help.  Is there anyone else here who had to "come out" to radical Christian parents after being a Christian your whole life?  That's the situation I'm in.  I need some advice.  Thanks!

[Whitney]

Hi, welcome to the forum.  

My approach is to not bother telling them unless there is a need to tell, like they still expect you to go to church and pray.  Good luck, I'm sure others will have better advice.

[Will]

Welcome to HAF.

I did the same some time ago, but really there's no way to say if your experience will be like mine because I don't know your parents. You do. If you think it would ultimately be beneficial to you if you told them, go for it.

[leftyguitarjoe]

If you dont mind me asking, how old are you? If you are at an age in which your parents still have legal authority to continue to indoctrinate you, you should wait. I was not an atheist until after I was 18, so I never had to worry about the situation.

[afreethinker30]

Hi all, I'm a new atheist.  I need some help.  Is there anyone else here who had to "come out" to radical Christian parents after being a Christian your whole life?  That's the situation I'm in.  I need some advice.  Thanks!

I agree with laetusatheos.

[McQ]

Hi all, I'm a new atheist.  I need some help.  Is there anyone else here who had to "come out" to radical Christian parents after being a Christian your whole life?  That's the situation I'm in.  I need some advice.  Thanks!

Welcome. The answer depends on many things, one of which was brought up, and that is your age and dependency on parents. I've never had to deal with your situation personally, as I came to my atheism as an adult. Just had to tell my wife, which was no picnic, but it beats having to tell people who control every aspect of your life (of course, it may be argued that my wife does control every aspect of my life, but that's another story!).

You'll find good people here who can help answer questions and who have similar experiences. Hang in there.

[Evolved]

Welcome to the forum!

Here's another twist.  I haven't told my parents (although they are probably highly suspicious and don't ask) because I am afraid of the effects on them.  They're both in their seventies, and the last thing that they need to worry about is that their youngest son is condemned to hell.

If you wouldn't mind sharing, give us a few more details.  It would help to know a little more about you.

[NearBr0ken]

I'm 17 almost 18.  I'm going to college in the fall and don't plan to move out till then.  My parents are radical Christians of the fundamentalist sort so telling them won't be easy.  My atheism is less than a month old.  I noticed that when I questioned religion, my questions were always answered with "have faith" or "that's just the way it is" or "god does what he wants" so I questioned them all the more.  Eventually I came to the conclusion that religion is borne of ignorance.  An educated society doesn't need god anymore.  Everything is caused by natural processes, whether we understand them or not.  They may look "divine" when in fact, it is simply misunderstanding.  At least, that's what I think.

[NearBr0ken]

.

[leftyguitarjoe]

Excellent reasoning!!!

I'm 18 and a new atheist as well. When you move out, politely let them know of your beliefs in a respectful manner.

Now that I think about it, its high time I told my parents

[susangail]

Hi all, I'm a new atheist.  I need some help.  Is there anyone else here who had to "come out" to radical Christian parents after being a Christian your whole life?  That's the situation I'm in.  I need some advice.  Thanks!

I am right there with you. I'm 16 and a recent de-convert from Christianity. My dad is boarder-line fundie. I recommend not telling them until you have to. I "came out" to my parents in April because I had to. I hadn't gone to church for months and my dad was very very mad. He hardly talked to me and was planning on forcing me to go. I got the "your mind has been poisoned, you have no morals, *holds Bible up* this is the Truth" speech. It was a nightmare.  

My atheism is less than a month old.  I noticed that when I questioned religion, my questions were always answered with "have faith" or "that's just the way it is" or "god does what he wants" so I questioned them all the more. Eventually I came to the conclusion that religion is borne of ignorance.  An educated society doesn't need god anymore.  Everything is caused by natural processes, whether we understand them or not.  They may look "divine" when in fact, it is simply misunderstanding.  At least, that's what I think.

I've totally been there too. The more I was given those "answers" the more I dug for real answers. That's pretty much how I came to my conclusion a few months ago.

Again, don't tell your parents unless you have to. If you had to tell your parents, I would recommend you know what you do believe 100% before you think about telling them. I had to debate with my dad and I wasn't at all prepared.

I hope I helped! Happy posting!

[NearBr0ken]

I got the "your mind has been poisoned, you have no morals, *holds Bible up* this is the Truth" speech. It was a nightmare.

I haven't got that speech yet but I suspect it's coming soon.  I work a lot (and I mean a lot so that's a good excuse to stay away from both them and church.  I got out of going last night because I was tired.  That  wasn't really a lie as much as it was hiding my true motivations.  I think it was one single quote that changed my mind about Christianity.  Landover Baptist Church is a fundamentalist parody website run by atheists.  They came up w/ the phrase "Donkeys can talk, people can fly, and a man named Jesus lives up in the sky".  I read that and thought "Wow...that's what I believe".  I believed that a woman was tricked by a talking snake and that's why there's evil in the world.  When I stood back and looked at things objectively, there was no chance I'd fall for religion.  Then again, there goes the common argument that religion can only be understood subjectively.  If that's the case, they can keep it.  

[karadan]

Seriously, this is crazy.. So many people in such an awful situation...

I cannot talk from experience but i can only hypothesize as to how i'd deal with it:

I'd learn the bible cover to cover. I'd then do as much research on the other abrahamic religions plus as many of their splinter religions. I'd learn as many arguments and counter arguments for atheism and against religion. I'd learn as much science as i could. I'd even probably go to a Richard Dawkins lecture in secret, just so i could give myself some positive reenforcement before tackling my parents head-on.

So, i'd tell my parents i need to speak with them and make sure that when i ask them this, put on a suitably dour tone so that they know it is something serious. Whilst they have horrible images in their minds of whether i'm gay or if i masturbate in secret, i'd just come out with it... BAM!

I'd renounce god right in front of them. Renounce his worthless bullshit straight into the ground. I'd crush my parents souls so that they just stare at me, flabbergasted, unable to speak.

I'd do this because i love them and i know that they'd been brainwashed into believing the ridiculous. I'd want the madness to stop so i'd make a protracted plan to either teach them the truth about the world or leave them and never contact them ever again. I'd have to show them a bit of tough love.

I'd have to be hard about it because i love my parents and nothing would hurt more than knowing i'd never see them again. I'd prefer that, though, than having to spend the rest of my days keeping such a massive secret from them and watching them be brainwashed regularly every week until the end of their lives.

After my 'revelation' to them i'd take every opportunity to counter everything they believe in. Every time they spoke to me, i'd turn it into a discussion of god and how much he truly sucks. This process could be a few weeks or maybe a few years but every time i tell them how i feel, every time i use reason and science to blow every one of their beliefs out of the water, i'd be helping them back towards the road of sanity.

Eventually, they'd either be converted to atheism, be happy with who i am or completely disown me. I'd be prepared for all eventualities.

At the end of the day, my love for my parents would give me the strength to conduct a total and protracted barrage of sanity and science their way. If the person closest to them can't make them see sense, then no one is going to. At which point, i'd up and leave, never to see them again.

[Evolved]

I'm 17 almost 18.  I'm going to college in the fall and don't plan to move out till then.  My parents are radical Christians of the fundamentalist sort so telling them won't be easy.  My atheism is less than a month old.

If your parents are funding college, then I would certainly hold off telling them until it was absolutely necessary.  You don't have to make their conversion to atheism your personal crusade.  It's not your responsibility.  My parents are not fundies, but they are rather churchey, and I don't think that I would shake their beliefs with the most solid of arguments.

I noticed that when I questioned religion, my questions were always answered with "have faith" or "that's just the way it is" or "god does what he wants" so I questioned them all the more.  Eventually I came to the conclusion that religion is borne of ignorance.  An educated society doesn't need god anymore.  Everything is caused by natural processes, whether we understand them or not.  They may look "divine" when in fact, it is simply misunderstanding.  At least, that's what I think.

Congratulations on seeing through all of the smoke and mirrors.  "Because the bible says so" and "god wants what he wants" are very common (and very poor) near non-arguments.  Give your atheism some time to get a firm foothold before you challenge anyone, especially your parents.  As you can see, the other folks on the forum have a lot of experience!

When all else fails, throw a dancing Jeebus at them!

[susangail]

I haven't got that speech yet but I suspect it's coming soon.  I work a lot (and I mean a lot so that's a good excuse to stay away from both them and church.  I got out of going last night because I was tired.  That  wasn't really a lie as much as it was hiding my true motivations.  

Always good to have an "out". I wish I worked... grrrr... If you don't want to come out yet, back up your excuses like this. You're tired cause you've worked, good. Empty excuses arouse suspicion.

I think it was one single quote that changed my mind about Christianity.  Landover Baptist Church is a fundamentalist parody website run by atheists.They came up w/ the phrase "Donkeys can talk, people can fly, and a man named Jesus lives up in the sky".  I read that and thought "Wow...that's what I believe".  I believed that a woman was tricked by a talking snake and that's why there's evil in the world.  

Wow, a quote like that wouldn't have gotten me out of it. I was too sucked in. But kudos to you!! You've seen the light!..er well.. maybe the dark.... oh well, the better side (IMO)! But yeah, don't the timeless Bible stories all of a sudden resemble fairy tales and Greek mythology? (at least to me they seemed as ridiculous as Greek mythology... everything created in 6 days by God, everything created out of Chaos... but I still love mythology!)