The "Once upon a time..." thread.

[xSilverPhinx]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous

[Sandra Craft]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins!

[xSilverPhinx]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan

[Stevil]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets

[xSilverPhinx]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets skipped

[Magdalena]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets skipped

This is so weird-funny!
Thanks everyone, it's been a while since I laughed this hard! I had tears in my eyes, my husband thought I was just crying over something sad I read. I wish a psychiatrist would analyze this story and give his/her analysis of what we have, as they say, "projected" here.

[Sandra Craft]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets skipped into

[Siz]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets skipped into parliament

[xSilverPhinx]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets skipped into parliament dressed

[xSilverPhinx]

This is so weird-funny!
Thanks everyone, it's been a while since I laughed this hard! I had tears in my eyes, my husband thought I was just crying over something sad I read. I wish a psychiatrist would analyze this story and give his/her analysis of what we have, as they say, "projected" here.

LOL yeah, I would be curious to see an analysis of this as well.

[Sandra Craft]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets skipped into parliament dressed to the nines.

[TheWalkingContradiction]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets skipped into parliament dressed to the nines.  Sultry

[DeterminedJuliet]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets skipped into parliament dressed to the nines.  Sultry monkeys

[En_Route]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets skipped into parliament dressed to the nines.  Sultry monkeys violated

[Sandra Craft]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets skipped into parliament dressed to the nines.  Sultry monkeys violated my