Father arrested for allowing his kids to play in public park alone.

[markmcdaniel]

When I was 9 I was roaming pretty much on my own. However I grew up on Air Force Bases a very unhealthy environment for any child molester.  This being said while it might be appropriate to give a 9 year old some freedom 6 years old is far to young. Arresting the father might be a bit much, but in the current child protection climate it is to be expected.

[Sweetdeath]

Well, leaving your kids alone while you do errands for two hours is pretty frowned upon.  Parents are suppose to be responsible til the kid is at least 16.

[Ali]

Well, leaving your kids alone while you do errands for two hours is pretty frowned upon.  Parents are suppose to be responsible til the kid is at least 16.

Sorry SD, but this made me giggle.  I was babysitting other people's kids by the time I was 12.  The idea that kids must be under constant parental supervision (even for a couple of hours while you run errands) until they are at least 16 seems pretty extreme to me.

I'm definitely more of a free range parent.  I agree with Asmo's assessment.  I also read Lenore Skenazy's book, and the statistics on kids getting abducted by strangers are like one in a gazillion. (to put it in perspective, they are more likely to be hit by lightening.)  It's the people you actually know that you have to worry more about taking your kids *eyes all of you suspiciously*

Kids are way smarter and more capable than we give them credit for.  My POV is that I need to prepare my little guy for the world, not protect him from it.  To that end, I take him on walks, and at every single intersection I stop and make him recite back to me what we do when we cross the street (we look both ways) and then we do it together, and then we cross.  I have made him memorize my cell phone number by making it into a little song, and we've talked repeatedly about how if he were to ever get separated from me, he is to find another Mommy and ask her to call me (but he is NOT to go anywhere with her.)  My parents live 9 doors down from us (and on the same side of the street, so no need to cross the road) in a very safe neighborhood with almost no traffic, and every time we walk there, I make him tell me which way to go and which house they are in to make sure he knows the way.  I'm thinking this summer I may let him walk by himself (although I may have to sneak along behind him the first time or two - I'm not *that* cavalier about it, but at the same time I do want him to start flexing his independent muscles in small safe ways.

The world really isn't as scary as we adults make it out to be.  I value independence, curiosity, and self sufficiency, so I recognize as a parent that I have to give my guy the tools to be safe, and then let him practice these things in safe and age appropriate ways.

[Amicale]

Ali, awesome post. Your kiddo's lucky to have you for a mom.

In all reality, when it comes right down to it, I'd be more concerned with my daughter going off somewhere to play, and then tripping, falling, and knocking her front teeth out... which could happen... because she's my daughter, and we're both klutzes. 

I know that right now in my hometown area, 'stranger danger' is on everyone's mind because a murder trial just wrapped up where a little girl was abducted by a man and woman, abused and killed - and she was taken right after school. Scary stuff for any parent to hear about for sure... and we all hope like hell no matter how well we prepare our kids for 'the real world', that it never happens to them. But like you said Ali, it's about the chance of getting hit by lightning - a crazy, horrible, nightmare of a one-off event that isn't likely to happen.

Like you, I do the best I can with my kiddo. Like you, I have family members living on the same street. And there are plenty of very nice folks living around me who I know would take my daughter in and help her without question if she were lost or needed help, and I wasn't there. I know that it's the people you DO know who are most likely to harm a child, but overall, I do believe that the vast majority of people are decent folks who would do just about anything to keep a child safe. Anyone here can call me naive, but I don't see danger lurking behind every tree. I still wouldn't let my daughter go alone to the park at her age, but I'm still reasonable, I think.

[ThinkAnarchy]

I wouldn't call either of you two naive. The news likes to focus on the most horrible crimes imaginable. Hell, within three days, nearly everyone seems to know about the asshole who was eating the face off his living victim. Yet, I still run into people in the U.S. who don't know about the major Supreme Court decision sometime in June. People like sensationalism. Telling people their children are statistically safe doesn't sell advertising space in papers or tv. We all need to fear our children being abducted or having our faces half eaten.

[Ali]

Amicale - I hope you didn't think that I was calling you out because you said you wouldn't let your daughter go to the park by herself at her age!  For the record, I wouldn't let T go to the park by himself at this age (4, same as your girl) either!  I honestly don't know about 6, I have to see what six looks like (for T) before I make that call.    All I'm trying to say is that it seems like a lot of parents (not you specifically ) have a lot of angst about their kids' safety that I don't see as entirely warranted or even normative for our culture, as proved by the fact that the vast majority of us had a lot more freedom growing up and most of us survived.  My brother and I pretty much ran wild through the woods and neighborhoods of our childhood, as was very normal in the time and place we grew up.  I can guarantee that at 9 I would have been allowed to hang out in a park with my 5 year old brother for two hours by ourselves as long as my mom knew that we were there, and no one would have called the cops.  I don't know how kids who ran amok during their own childhoods grew up to be such scaredy-cat parents.  We think the world is "different" now than when we were kids, and in a way, we're right.  The stats show that it's actually safer.

[Amicale]

Oh, heck no, Ali I didn't think you were commenting on me. I just kinda used your post as a launch point and went from there.  Sorry for the confusion!

And I really like the points you've made. 

[Ali]

Oh good, I was worried for a second!