Jesus came to me in my mailbox

[Bella]

When I saw the religious propeganda letter in my mailbox, I almost threw it away but I decided to open it since it would be good for a laugh. I'm not exactly laughing... Inside it was a "prayer rug". It's just a large peice of paper with Jesus' face printed on it. It quite obviously has an optical illusion where he has pupils printed on the outside of his closed eyelids. The directions read: Look into Jesus' Eyes you will see they are closed. But as you continue to look you will see His eyes opening and looking back into your eyes. Then go and be alone and kneel on this Rug of Faith or touch it to both knees. Then please check your needs on our letter to you. Please return this Prayer Rug. Do not keep it.

Oh, I won't be keeping it. Luckily, some friends are planning on having a bonfire next weeked. Muahaha! (Okay, now I'm laughing). It came with letters with prophecies for ME and bunch of testimonies from people who have had their prayers (for money only, of course) answered with this prayer rug. I can't even believe this garbage! There is actually a form to fill out and send back about my prayer (to a PO box in Tulsa, OK) to send back their prayer rug and let them know what I prayed for (there are actually check boxes and blanks to fill out exactly how much money I prayed for).

[Big Mac]

You know, Jesus is said to look rather plain and even a bit ugly according to what little the Bible describes him as. Why do all these fundies make him look like this Hebrew Adonis? The man was kind of ugly yet charismatic. Like a....well like Adolf Hitler sort of.

[MysticalChicken]

The eyes-opening thing would most likely freak me out.

[Big Mac]

Hey, I'd almost believe it except I follow the school of "Everything freaky has a mundane explanation" kind of thought. All that glitter is really just shiny rust to me. Now if the thing started talking....well I'd be a little bit hard pressed.

[tacoma_kyle]

Yeah I got that exact thing last week. It was hilarious.

[Big Mac]

Jesus is just alright with me, Jesus is just alright with me. It's just his fan club that bothers me.

[Bella]

I'm starting to wonder if the people who sent me this are actually a fan club or something else... It's just so weird.

P.S. Please hurry with my money, Jesus.

[Big Mac]

I'm a bit shocked. San Diego doesn't seem like the place to have such a Jesus Freak population. Now here in Texas....you can't throw a rock in public without hitting a dozen Jesus Freaks.

[SteveS]

Geez, Bella, I think I got this same mail.  I was just commenting on it on another thread.  I think I filed mine away somewhere, I'll have to check and get a photo so I can see if its the same one.  Weird, wasn't it?

[Bella]

Very weird. It just seems... pointless.

[moosegoose]

...Hebrew Adonis...

Funny you mentioned that. Adonis (word for tall, built-up sexy stud) comes from Hebrew word "adonai", which stands for "my master".
It was one of secret names of jhw.
So religion is nothing else but teenage boys talking about gay sex.

[Ezequiel Medvietzky]

actually the only name  JHW  supposedly has is  JEHOVA  which by the jewish religion you're not allowed to write or say out loud , adonai  was and is the official name of god besides Elohim which you can use instead of saying his real name...

[moosegoose]

Thanks for clarifying (you are the expert;)
But that was were "adonis" came from.
Weren't jehova and elohim two different gods originally?

[moosegoose]

....you can't throw a rock in public without hitting a dozen Jesus Freaks.

Have you tried?!

[Ezequiel Medvietzky]

Jehova is the name of god while Elohim is kind of a description of god by what he does and how he IS, came from the word Eloah that in old hebrew means "existing", that's also where the saying - "god is everywhere and nowhere"...

See?