New member with immediate question

[xSilverPhinx]

Welcome!

If I were in your situation, the first thing I would want to do is ask them if they really think that praying actually affects anything other than give them a sense of actually doing something to ease their conscious. If they already know that you and your mom are atheists, then it's just rude. If it were my family member, I would get pissed.

Anyways, I hope everything turns out to be ok for your mom, and that she recovers. Having a really good team of trained professional doctors on her case is already much better than many people get.

[Melody]

I am very glad i found this forum. All of you are just fantastic. My mom is at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore and religion hasn't even been an issue. They asked if she had a preference upon admission and it hasn't been addressed since. THey have an amazingly wide variety of races and nationalities employed there so I think it's pretty much a non-issue with them.
My aunt, the one who asked me about the minister, is really religious but I do have to give her credit in being respectful towards me and others who don't think the same as she does. I know that she simply cannot wrap her mind around the fact that I am a heathen sinner, but she never pushes the issue with me and I do spend a decent amount of time with her since we do some charity work together. I love the fact that my atheism just twists her mind. She lives in this little narrowminded town where even being a vegetarian is considered blasphemy so I consider myself her periodic dose of reality.
Thanks for the kind words about my mom. This has been a long, miserable road.

[DeterminedJuliet]

Welcome, I hope your Aunt backs down a little now. Family illness is never easy 

[Sweetdeath]

Welcome to Haf. First off, really sorry to hear about everything going on with your mum.
It definitely doesn't help that you have to deal with insensative people. I would be blunt and tell them flatly not to bring up any religious mumbo jumbo....

[Siz]

Welcome to Haf. First off, really sorry to hear about everything going on with your mum.
It definitely doesn't help that you have to deal with insensative people. I would be blunt and tell them flatly not to bring up any religious mumbo jumbo....

...cos that approach often works with Christians...

And that's not insensative (sic) how? I'm sure Auntie is upset too. Not sure that's particularly helpful, Sweet. We're not all fundies here, Melody.

Be the bigger person, Melody, and let it go. And if she oversteps the mark again tell her that if she thinks religion helps, please practice it more privately.

Really, apart from buzzing like an annoyingly persistent fly, what harm is she doing.

[Sweetdeath]

Why are you quoting me?  o_o  I don't think telling someone to stop bringing up any religious stuff for a sick atheist is insensitive....
She's obviously already under a lot of stress and doesnt need a religious family member making it harder.

[Siz]

Why are you quoting me?  o_o  I don't think telling someone to stop bringing up any religious stuff for a sick atheist is insensitive....
She's obviously already under a lot of stress and doesnt need a religious family member making it harder.

Yes, you're right Sweet - I didn't mean to get your back up...again. But attacking the woman who's only trying to help (pathetic and misguided though it may be) would also be insensitive. This will achieve nothing but ill-feeling. I'm not sure that advising a beligerantly anti-christian stance is going to get the message heard appropriately. This may well be passed off as an outburst of grief - then she might make it her mission to 'save' poor Melody. A low-key but surefooted response is more likely to be respected... IMHO.

I do have difficulty adjusting my 'religioscope' to attune with the sentiments of you U.S Atheists who are vehemently anti-Christian. And I'm not saying you're not justified in the way you feel. I guess it's an equal and opposite stance to that of the American Christians with whom I do not come into contact. I personally just can't summon enough opposition to agree with your reaction.

I think I'll start a thread about Christian tolerance and we can debate it there...

[Sweetdeath]

Why are you quoting me?  o_o  I don't think telling someone to stop bringing up any religious stuff for a sick atheist is insensitive....
She's obviously already under a lot of stress and doesnt need a religious family member making it harder.

Yes, you're right Sweet - I didn't mean to get your back up...again. But attacking the woman who's only trying to help (pathetic and misguided though it may be) would also be insensitive. This will achieve nothing but ill-feeling. I'm not sure that advising a beligerantly anti-christian stance is going to get the message heard appropriately. This may well be passed off as an outburst of grief - then she might make it her mission to 'save' poor Melody. A low-key but surefooted response is more likely to be respected... IMHO.

I do have difficulty adjusting my 'religioscope' to attune with the sentiments of you U.S Atheists who are vehemently anti-Christian. And I'm not saying you're not justified in the way you feel. I guess it's an equal and opposite stance to that of the American Christians with whom I do not come into contact. I personally just can't summon enough opposition to agree with your reaction.

I think I'll start a thread about Christian tolerance and we can debate it there...

I'm just a bit puzzled, because what I suggested doesn't seem to differ much from what anyone else in this thread said. I feel singled out.

Not to mention, now you are puting words in my mouth. I never said or suggested "attacking"  anyone.

[Tank]

Sweetdeath

The problem here is cross cultural UK vs US. I'm used to the way you put things and I've come across lots of Americans who express themselves the way you do. If you were British you would come over as pretty/very aggressive. In my experience Americans often take a 'prove me wrong' adversarial stance in an argument. Brit's often do it a little differently, we'll throw all the ideas on the table and pick out the best bits and hopefully come up with a solution that is a mixture of the two which were started with.

[Sweetdeath]

I'm just very confused is all.   

[Tank]

I'm just very confused is all.   

Then just don't worry, and have a hug!

[Siz]

Sweet, if we are to get involved in the politics of the religious whom we do not wish to offend, we must operate within the bounds of civility. Yours was the most blunt of the (mostly moderate) replies and constituted incivility in the given situation. Having your beliefs be called mumbo-jumbo is as insulting to a Christian as it is to you. I've no doubt that Auntie Christian would have felt attacked.

Nothing personal, nothing mean, just my opinion.

Peace!

...And here's a hug...

(88)

(I made that emoticon up...)

[Sweetdeath]

I didn't tell melody to say "mumbo jumbo" exactly.  My words really .I just agreed with everyone when they said she should tell her aunt to back off, because it is rude.

I   don't feel any remorse for religious people, but I am not purposely rude to them immediately.  This situation is very intense and emotional, even more reason to keep religion out.

[Tank]

I didn't tell melody to say "mumbo jumbo" exactly.  My words really .I just agreed with everyone when they said she should tell her aunt to back off, because it is rude.

I don't feel any remorse for religious people, but I am not purposely rude to them immediately.  This situation is very intense and emotional, even more reason to keep religion out.

But not from the religious person's perspective. From a Christian perspective there is every need to seek comfort for themselves and others in distressing circumstances.

[Denty420]

Hi Melody,

I'm a new member of the forum too, and let me first tell you my heart goes out over 5,000 miles of ocean to you and your family. What's happening to your mum is awful and my thoughts are with you and your family. There was a time that I would pray for you, but that time has thankfully passed. All I can do is send you good wishes, love and empathy. It's not much but I hope it brings you some small comfort.

There's not really much I can add to what's already been said on this topic, except to say that being blunt isn't really the answer. Their intentions are nothing but good and honourable, and I don't think they would be too offended at all if you were to politely decline any spiritual help. If they're proper Christians, they'll realise you have a lot on your plate at the moment and that the last thing you need is religious mumbo jumbo being forced on you and your mum. It's just enough for them to be there for moral support without any spiritual overtones or intentions, and you need to also politely make this clear. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know here, but that is what I would do. Be as diplomatic as possible with them.

Keep us posted as to how your mum - and you - are doing, yeah?

Take care.