the dreams of Enoch (file under biblical weirdshit!)

[Too Few Lions]

after the revelation that the Christian god has huge dairy cannons which can be milked to bring salvation to us all, I was reading the First Book of Enoch last night after watching the footie (as you do) and read some very weird things in there...

In Jewish mythology, Enoch was the great grandson of Adam, and appears to have become a figure for Jewish apocalyptic literature / mystical ascents in Hellenistic / Roman times, probably because Genesis states that he 'walked with god'. In this book he has several visionary dreams, as well as being shown around the heavens by the archangels. It's a flat Earth with a heavenly dome above it and the stars and Sun and Moon following set courses from one side of the dome to the other. One of these dreams is particularly bizarre, and it's a shame that Constantine and his cronies decided to omit the Book of Enoch from the official canon in the fourth century, as they did with a lot of the more colourful Christian and Jewish scripture. I'd love to see Christians trying to explain this strange little text if it had been included in the Bible. Apparently the dream's an allegory of the history of mankind (according to the Bible), and this particular part (chapter 86) is about the Nephilim. It involves stars with penises falling from heaven and have sex with cows that give birth to elephants and camels  ;

'And again I saw with my eyes, while I was sleeping, and I saw the heavens above, and behold one star fell from heaven, and arose and ate and pastured among those bullocks. And after that I saw the large and the black bullocks, and behold all changed their stalls and their pastures and their cattle, and began to lament one with the other. And again I saw in the vision, and looked at the heavens, and behold I saw many stars; and they fell from heaven, and were thrown from heaven near that first star, and among those cattle and bullocks; there they were with them, pasturing among them. And I looked at them, and behold they all let out their sexual members, like horses, and began to mount the cows of the bullocks;  and these all became pregnant, and brought forth elephants and camels and asses. And all the bullocks feared them, and were affrighted at them; and they commenced to bite with their teeth, and to devour, and to push with their  horns. And they then began to devour those bullocks, and behold all the children of the earth began to tremble, and to shake before them, and fled.'

I'm not surprised!

[Sweetdeath]

You know, I always need someone to translate the bible for me.    It's written like a bad Anne Rice novel.
Though I consider myself slightly familiar with Enoch. I thought the Nephilium were  half angels born out of rebellious angels coming to earth and reproducing with human women?

Either way, anyone who SERIOUSLY believes this should never be allowed to reproduce.

[Too Few Lions]

You know, I always need someone to translate the bible for me.    It's written like a bad Anne Rice novel.
Though I consider myself slightly familiar with Enoch. I thought the Nephilium were  half angels born out of rebellious angels coming to earth and reproducing with human women?

Yeah, a lot of it is really poorly translated in an old fashioned way. The same goes for a lot of greek stuff too. Mind you it could just be that I'm always looking at old translations, I think this one was over 100 years old!

You're spot on about the Nephilim, it's a strange story. I think it was really quite an important story for Jews 2000 years ago, and the reason by Yahweh sent the flood, but it seems much more an anecdotal tale these days.

[Gawen]

"And again I saw with my eyes, while I was sleeping..."

Honestly...enough said...

It truly is odd how modern man still clings to ancient man's hallucinations.

[Sweetdeath]

Maybe they are on shrooms?

[Too Few Lions]

it's definitely possible hallucinogens may have been used in some religious ceremonies / mystical ascents in the past, just as they still are by many shamanic and indigenous societies to this day. Enoch must have been on one bad-assed trip when he was getting these visions!

[Sweetdeath]

*puts on Jimmy hendrix*    foxy~

[Too Few Lions]

speaking of which it is almost shroom season 

I found a dozen by a temple of Mithras on Hadrian's wall in August, shows how cold and wet summers are up there!

[Gawen]

Well, I reckon if someone had a pecker the size of a horse, even a star pecker, a cow is about all you got going for you.

It's why some people in Scotland...

and Kentucky...

and parts of Arkansas...

say "Thank God for little sheep"

Then again, in Texas, where everything is bigger....and Texas is a cattle state...


I couldn't help it...just couldn't...and fully expect this post to be gone within 24 hours and myself to be fully chastised by a Mod...*laffin*

[Sweetdeath]

Hey, hey, leave Scotland out of this.  XP

[Too Few Lions]

Well, I reckon if someone had a pecker the size of a horse, even a star pecker, a cow is about all you got going for you.

It's why some people in Scotland...

and Kentucky...

and parts of Arkansas...

say "Thank God for little sheep"

Then again, in Texas, where everything is bigger....and Texas is a cattle state...


I couldn't help it...just couldn't...and fully expect this post to be gone within 24 hours and myself to be fully chastised by a Mod...*laffin*

don't forget Wales, they're famous for it. They put wellies on the sheep so they can't get away!

[The Magic Pudding]

Sounds like aliens to me.
They come and go leaving the cows very disturbed.
It's the simplest explanation, I don't know why people deny it.