Greetings from the Calvinist Center of the Universe

[Kylyssa]

Hi there!
I'm Kylyssa and I live in Kentwood, Michigan - part of Greater Grand Rapids.  I live just a few miles from Calvin College and I'm surrounded by Christian Reformed Persons.  Please send an airlift as soon as possible -just kidding for the moment.  

At the moment my primary occupation is freelance writing including, of course, some articles relevant to atheism.  Hopefully you'll stop by my profile at Associated Content and check out my latest article about the origin of morality from my atheistic perspective.

I'm looking for some good input on how to be an "out" atheist.  I never have been due to some extremely traumatic experiences with religious people.  You can read about my first (and worst) in an article I recently posted.  If anyone has any relevant experiences or ideas on how to cope with religious post traumatic shock please share them.  

The idea of other non-religious people to talk with is wonderful.  I hope to enjoy many conversations.

Have a wonderful day!

[rlrose328]

Hi, Kylyssa and welcome!  I'm Kerri and I'm in Mormon territory in Oregon.  I'm just outside of Portland, where there is a huge enclave of Fundie and Gellie (evangelical) folks who drive me crazy.

If you are afraid to be "out," then don't be.  Just be who you are and that's enough.  If the subject comes up, admit that you are a non-believer ("atheist" can be seen as confrontational by believers) and leave it at that.

We've got emblems on our cars from EvolveFish.com... I've got a cat fish and a science 'rocket' fish.  Hubby has the more confrontational dinosaur eating a Christian fish, the IXNAY fish, and a few others.  We also run a website called "atheism quotes" (link below) which has a huge stockpile of quotes and t-shirts with the quotes can be purchased through cafepress.  We also have some buttons and other things, including a "The Tilt of the earth's axis is the reason for the season" design.

All of these non-verbal items are good for getting your message out there... but beware, if you're in an area where you fear retribution from the loving believers, having something on your car may not be a good idea.  A non-confrontation quote t-shirt is a good way to be non-verbal but out.

I will definitely spend some time reading your works this evening... right now, we're in getting-ready-to-travel mode, so I'm just popping in for a sec between loads of wash and locating necessary travel items.  LOL!

Have a great day!

[myleviathan]

That's such a sad story. I can't imagine that happening at a public school. It's very telling of a hateful undertone in society. I really admire your courage in that situation. I just want to give you a hug!

I can't say I've ever been through anything that bad. Nothing more than a few taunts at work and disgust expressed by family members.

I think you'll enjoy the forum, as I certainly have. Welcome.

[SteveS]

Hi Kylyssa - man, that's some story.  I've never felt that threatened by Christians where I live (suburban Chicago).  I don't go around blabbing that I'm an atheist, but I've made atheistic comments or remarks that have been met with silent disapproval but that's about it.  In my high school, I can't even really remember anyone discussing religion.  In fact, I was blatantly disbelieving of the Biblical tales (parting of the Red Sea and such nonsense) in a history class.  This got me a few surprised stares, but no outcasting or anything even remotely like it.

I guess I'm just truly shocked when I hear about incidents like you experienced.  I wonder if this is a difference between small-town life and life in a large metropolitan area?  The big cities have people of all different religions and nationalities living in them --- maybe it breeds a more tolerant environment than a small town?

Anyway - welcome to the forum.  Thanks for all the background!

[rlrose328]

Oh my... sweet mother of... all that is decent.  Your story horrified me.  I'm so sorry for all that you endured for your parents' beliefs.  The worst thing I've had done to me is a few flipped fingers, nasty looks with shaking heads, preaching, and moonings on the freeway after I first put on my IXNAY fish (on my last car).

I wouldn't blame you if you NEVER told anyone of your non-belief.  Forget everything I said in my first post.  You hold onto your cloak of silence and keep writing about your thoughts and experiences.  If you are in a place where you feel safe now, just be who you are.  That's how I live my life here and when someone finds out (through the grapevine or if I'm asked), I'm usually told I can't possibly be an atheist, I'm too nice.  Sad commentary on how we are viewed, isn't it?

I feel for you... I really do.  I'll keep you in my thoughts and think positive thoughts for you.  You have earned your right to believe what you wish... heck, you've earned MY right to believe what I wish as well.  You're my hero for enduring what you have!

[Tricky_Niki]

Wow I don't even know where to start. So first off Hello and welcome to a friendly corner of the Net. If you do not feel safe being an out and open nonbeliever then by all means do what you must to feel safe.
Maybe someday we will all be free to believe whatever we want. Until then we have places like this where we can be ourselves without fear.

[Squid]

Hola Kylyssa, welcome aboard.  I may pick your professional writing brain in the future as I am attempting to make a jump into writing - albeit on scientific topics of course.

Anyhow, good to have you.

[Whitney]

Welcome to the forum, Kylyssa.

[MommaSquid]

Welcome, Kylyssa!  

I'm not very open with people (in real life) about my atheism.  If they are paying attention they'll figure it out on their own, but I don't feel the need to put my non-belief in the forefront of my life.  I avoid pushy believers like the plague.

I hope you enjoy it here.

[McQ]

Welcome to the forum!

[Kylyssa]

Thanks so much for the warm welcome!

[pagan1]

Your story is so sad!I feel so sorry for the ignorant individuals who persecuted you...Jesus said judge the vine by the grape...those grapes sound so rotten,I am sure they had nothing to do with such a nice person as Jesus.In fact in your story,you and your parents seem to of been the only ones who acted in a christian manner.You were very lucky to have such clear minded and rational parents.I believe that the belief in God and every Religion created to perpetuate this myth is the true source of evil.If you don't believe in God then you have to question the fantasy of eternal life,you have to take responsibility for your actions,not expect some strange super sadist in the sky,to have sympathy and forgiveness for any negative actions you may have done...
As for being an out Atheist,I think if you look very closely at religious belief it all leads to Atheism anyway.In Hinduism they go from god as a seperate identity to complete oneness,then this evolved into Buddhism which has no need of God at all.In Islam they say,"There is no God but God",from which point you only need one very small step to say,"There is no God"...in Christianity I have yet to figure out how a natural progression can be made,but I am sure that there is one,since Religion would seem to be a very basic aspirational attempt to overcome the fear of death,and the questions that it raises would seem universal.So in a sense being an Atheist is akin to being an evolved Christian,in that you have the morality,but you do not need the inane stupidity of religious mumbo jumbo to sustain it.So when someone tries Bible bashing,just encourage them to bash it even more...then after they have hopefully put it out of its misery,they will realise that they didn't need such a silly book after all.
How did your parents deal with such people?

[Kylyssa]

How did your parents deal with such people?

My parents tried to deal with those people through legal channels.  It was pretty ineffectual.  My parents eventually were run out of the community after years of religious persecution.  Such nasty tactics were used against them as blacklisting and boycotting.  They had to sell their livestock out of town and often had to purchase feed and other necessities out of the community as well.