Grant My Wish

[The Magic Pudding]

I've seen this thread in one other place but from it's introduction it doesn't seem to have originated there.

You make a wish.

The next poster grants your wish but subverts it some how.

You make your own wish.

Someone wished this -

I wish my old dog was a young pup again so I can enjoy him for many more years.

[The Magic Pudding]

Granted, your name changes to Dorian and you carry your dogs years x 7.

I wish for a small noise cancelling elephant that sits on my desk preventing crap TV reaching my ears.

[Rizuidad]

Perhaps the noise cancelling elephant works just a little bit too well, not enabling you to hear the murderous screams of your girlfriend begging your for...companionship?

I wish that this wish does not get granted. And a pony.

[Rizuidad]

Holy shit, my wish came true!

[The Magic Pudding]

I wish that this wish does not get granted. And a pony.

I would have granted your wish earlier but we have a resident Pony specialist but they have remained silent.  But without further ado a pony is yours, but it is very angry, the embodiment of millennia of equine resentment.  Revenge for all their long history of being sat upon will be visited upon you.

A remote control that has a finger print reader, only usable by me and this remote will have a button that disables all other remotes in range.  Yes what I want is one remote to rule them all bwa ha ha ha.

[xSilverPhinx]

I wish I had a remote that could interfere with other remotes, but I don't know what I would do with one once I got it.

[Rizuidad]

Make everyone watch what you want them to watch?

I wish for great balls of fire.(the song, you ninny.)

[The Magic Pudding]

I wish for great balls of fire.(the song, you ninny.)

Your wish is granted, you are now a thirteen year old girl and Jerry Lee will sing it for you on his and your wedding night.

I wish for my hopes and wishes be dashed in a more creatively malevolent fashion.

[CHI83]

My Wish: I wish I can write a best selling sci-fi novel.

[Will]

You're L. Ron Hubbard, congratulations on starting Scientology!

I wish for for the ability to travel through time!

[Rizuidad]

William, you refer to yourself as, "grandaddy" don't you?

I wish for, oh SHIZ, NOO!

[The Magic Pudding]

I wish for for the ability to travel through time!

Oh time, I hate time don't we travel through it everyday, ride it like a wave maybe, whacking into the occasional rock.

Anyway I will grant your wish.  Unfortunately you don't control your ability directly, it is triggered by extreme embarrassment, discomfort or pain.  Once you experience some extreme unpleasantness you are doomed to loop back and repeat it until you kiss a Jesus icon, on the bum.

I wish drivers of large off road vehicles they don't have reason to own, be doomed to an eternity propelling such a vehicle, Fred Flintstone style with feet through the floor.

[Shy]

I wish for, oh SHIZ, NOO!

~POOF~ Your a steaming pile. (Weird wish)  

I wish for world p.....izza. As big as the world.

[Davin]

I wish for world p.....izza. As big as the world.

There you go, the world starves (including you and all animals except the buffalo), during the process though.

I wish Asmodean would be less grumpy, but the lumpness, greyness and clayness are just fine. That wish can't go wrong.

[The Magic Pudding]

I wish Asmodean would be less grumpy, but the lumpness, greyness and clayness are just fine. That wish can't go wrong.

You just don't understand the fine integration of malevolence, gift and despair that should be the quintessence of a Grant of Wish.

I thought I had a better idea before my last sentence, but it was a demanding sentence.
Oh it's so obvious, he's less grumpy because your intestines are now decorating his walls.

I forgot I had to wish, next year 20% more tiger sharks have unfortunate accidents and a few more dugongs, albatross and turtles live on.  
I know there's some wondrous circle of life thing, but I don't like it.