Going to church...

myleviathan · November 25, 2007, 03:27:04 AM

I am married to a Christian. She suggested that maybe we try going to church Sunday now that the Christmas season is here. At first it seemed like a good idea. But the more I think about it, the more anxious I feel.

We used to attend a church together, and I'm thinking that maybe attending this church would be the least of all evils because I'm familiar with it, but then again maybe not. There are people who I don't really want to see. I think if it weren't for those people (including a few of the pastors), I would like to go.

Do you guys think it would be better for a non-theist to attend a church where people knew him or her as a believer or just attend a church that is not familiar at all? Has anyone been in this situation?

Bella · November 25, 2007, 05:26:31 AM

Honestly, if I were going to do someone a favor by going, I'd pick one where no one knew me. Omg, I can only imagine seeing people at my old one, having them think that I was coming around, and start pestering me again. Yuck.

Will · November 25, 2007, 05:35:47 AM

I second going to a different church. If you're going to go sing to Zeus or whatever, do it around people who aren't going to dump on you for leaving the cult. Or worse... try to suck you back in.

MommaSquid · November 25, 2007, 08:20:41 PM

Now might be a good time to discuss your (non)beliefs with the spouse.

After all, 'tis the season.

shoruke · November 26, 2007, 03:24:34 AM

Personally, the only church I would go to is one where almost nobody knows me, and certainly one where nobody knows I'm atheist. If they don't know you, then you can simply be invisible.

Bella · November 26, 2007, 05:27:18 AM

I'm sort of curious to why you thought it was a good idea? To please your wife? It seems like it would just be a frusturating experiance to me. (Not attacking you or anything, really just curious.)

SteveS · November 26, 2007, 04:15:03 PM

Sorry dude - the last time I was in a church it was 'cause someone related to me got married in one. I pretty much stood around looking bemused.

rlrose328 · November 26, 2007, 06:33:20 PM

I wouldn't go... not because I don't respect my partner, but because I just can't abide by the crap they spew during services. I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut. Just imagining the last time I went (for a funeral) and the bile that rose while they were reading the bible... wow, it makes me almost vomit just remembering it.

It's not that I'm intolerant... they can believe what they wish (as long as they don't force it on me). But I don't have to listen to it. They won't come think in my house, why should I got and not think in theirs?

I just can't do it anymore. Good job on you if you can.

myleviathan · November 26, 2007, 09:16:45 PM

QuoteNow might be a good time to discuss your (non)beliefs with the spouse.

We have definitely discussed our beliefs about God. We have decided that we can still be together as long as we respect one another. Otherwise our relationship is good. Itâ€™s hard at times when I really want to ridicule some religious idea. But, mostly, I hold my tongue for her sake. Sometimes I canâ€™t help it. Like the other day she wanted to go to the Christian book store because they might have an advent calendar she wants. I couldnâ€™t help to comment that if they had Jesus in the back could they sign me up for my own personal relationship.

Bella · November 26, 2007, 09:38:24 PM

LOL! Oh, how we mock them.

I guess my parents are also in your boat. My mom is a Jehovah's Witness and my dad would best be described as Agnostic. They just don't talk about it, which is really the only way to go when it comes to that situation. He's gone once or twice, and picked up a book to make her happy... but doesn't believe it. I remember the time he went to church with us, he leaned over and whispered, "You don't really believe all of this, do you?!" LOL! I wanted to say, "HELL NO!"

donkeyhoty · November 27, 2007, 03:42:59 AM

Quote from: "myleviathan"this new pathetic â€˜relevanceâ€™ kick in the church, and itâ€™s all about how cool Christians can be.

Oh god, they don't have a "rock" band, or a pastor that plays guitar, do they? That stuff is hilarious.

myleviathan · November 27, 2007, 04:33:46 AM

What's sad is I used to be that guy. I wasn't a pastor, but I was the Contemporary Christian Guitar Player at my church. I played the lamest guitar solos YOU HAVE EVER HEARD. I WAS THAT GUY!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I was battling my atheism while I was on the stage with my eyes closed, mouthing the words to the lamest songs YOU HAVE EVER IMAGINED. 'OH GOD LET US BE, A GENERATION THAT SEEKS, SEEKS YOUR FACE, OH GOD OF JACOB....'!!

Tricky_Niki · November 27, 2007, 06:45:27 AM

Several times since I went rational I have had to go to church for one reason or another. Weddings Funerals Baptisms mostly I try to stay away, but if you can tolerate sitting in a church for a short period of time on a sunday and it will make your wife happy then go for it. As long as you come back here and tell us all about what happened.
If you can't stomach the idea and a lot of people can't including a lot of christians I know then tell your wife that as much as you love her you would rather not go.

Tom62 · November 27, 2007, 07:27:36 AM

I would only go to a church for no other reasons than for weddings or funerals.

Bella · November 27, 2007, 09:46:39 AM

Quote from: "myleviathan"What's sad is I used to be that guy. I wasn't a pastor, but I was the Contemporary Christian Guitar Player at my church. I played the lamest guitar solos YOU HAVE EVER HEARD. I WAS THAT GUY!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I was battling my atheism while I was on the stage with my eyes closed, mouthing the words to the lamest songs YOU HAVE EVER IMAGINED. 'OH GOD LET US BE, A GENERATION THAT SEEKS, SEEKS YOUR FACE, OH GOD OF JACOB....'!!

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