My little brother

[AnimatedDirt]

My father brought me around to his way of thinking without enforcing anything.  I cannot, however, speak to the desires or frustrations as a parent, as I have no children, so I will bow out of the discussion at this stage.

Because we are dealing with religion here...an obvious point of contention here at HAF, it seems you equate religious beliefs and instruction as forced indoctrination.  While at a young age it may be true, in some families to a greater degree than others, the child eventually turns the age of consent, that being different for every child.  He/she will ultimately make their own decisions.

What I'm speaking of and conveying as my opinion here is that the older brother, while he may very well be right, is knowingly going against his parent's wishes.  If it comes out as I played it out, that the little brother (at 9 yrs old) puts up a challenge to the parent that he no longer thinks it necessary for him to attend church, it will not go well for the older, adult sibling.  If he loves his parents, then he would respect their manner of raising...after all, he was able and allowed to make his own decision when the time came and without the need of an older brother.  His parents seem open and while they might be disappointed at their son's decision(s), they are showing that inspite of this, they love and will continue to support and help their son even when he disagrees with their beliefs.  It's simply biting the hand that feeds you. 

The smart thing for the parent to do if the younger makes that stand is not to lead by dictatorship, but do exactly as you say your father did with you.  Have conversations that deal with the questions.  Nothing wrong with that.

[The Black Jester]

The smart thing for the parent to do if the younger makes that stand is not to lead by dictatorship, but do exactly as you say your father did with you.  Have conversations that deal with the questions.  Nothing wrong with that.

Your position is much clearer to me, thank you.  And if I'm truly frank and honest, I must in some measure contradict my own story.  Even my father's tolerance was not infinite.  When my fundamentalist beliefs were clearly causing distress for my own younger brother (7 years my junior - an apt analog to the case under discussion), my father did tell me in no uncertain terms to keep the hellfire talk to myself.  He did not forbid me to talk of my belief in god, however, merely to tone down the aspect of my belief that said "mommy and daddy are going to hell."