Looking for information from parents

[Big Daddy]

Greetings,

I found this website while looking for information for my kids.  My wife and I, if we gave it any thought would consider ourselves atheists, however what is important for us is that we aren't religious and we don't believe in any mythical beings.  As such, we teach our sons (ages 5 and 2) that Santa Claus is make believe and fun to pretend, but isn't real. 

Today's conversation from school for the 5 year old focused on the "big guy in the sky" and "going to heaven when you die."  My wife is a little more patient than I with this.

To cut to the point, I'd like to discuss with other parents how you handled these situations with your children.  At 5, I don't want my sons to have to get in to a logic discussion with other kids (or his teachers). 

Thanks,

BD.

[Tank]

Hi BD

Welcome aboard.

Having three grown up kids and a 5 month old grandson I can appreciate your concerns. My wife and I are both atheists and while we were exposed to Christianity as kids it appears to have been a vaccination rather than an infection. We're both pleased we managed to pass on our immunity to our kids!

We did very much what you have done i.e. play the imagination game with the kids and made sure they could tell fact from fiction. When they were early teens I used to play Dungeons and Dragons with them. It is a fantastic way to teach how morality works by putting them in conflicting situations and making them stick to the roll they had chosen. They thought they were playing a game while I walked them through horrific moral dilemmas that they would have paid no attention to if I'd just sat them down and talked to them about it.

Good luck with your little ones.

Regards
Chris

[Stevil]

It's difficult because at such a young age kids have such a vivid imagination and tend to believe everything the adults teach them, plus their little brains are a blank canvas.

I feel that if they are to be exposed to a religion that they should be exposed to all the religions and told of their incompatibilities. It should be educational rather than persuasive and the little kiddies should be the ones making the decisions. Even if they choose one I don't feel they should be indoctorined at an early age, it is just brainwashing in my opinion. Once they are old enough to read and decide which books they want to read then let them do whatever, if they choose to go to a libruary and get the bible, quran, torah ... then so be it.

[xSilverPhinx]

It's difficult because at such a young age kids have such a vivid imagination and tend to believe everything the adults teach them, plus their little brains are a blank canvas.

I feel that if they are to be exposed to a religion that they should be exposed to all the religions and told of their incompatibilities. It should be educational rather than persuasive and the little kiddies should be the ones making the decisions.

This.

[Crow]

It's difficult because at such a young age kids have such a vivid imagination and tend to believe everything the adults teach them, plus their little brains are a blank canvas.

I feel that if they are to be exposed to a religion that they should be exposed to all the religions and told of their incompatibilities. It should be educational rather than persuasive and the little kiddies should be the ones making the decisions.

This.

I second this statement, I don't have kids though so you may find my opinion irrelevant but seems the most logical direction to raise a well rounded child.

[Will]

While reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar...
"Now the caterpillar creates a chrysalis, or a little protective coat, around his body, and after a little while, he emerges as a butterfly! Now, are caterpillars real or fantasy?"
"Real!"
"Good! And how do we know they're real?"
"We can see them/touch them!"

While reading Jumanji...
"Can a board game really make animals appear out of nowhere?"
"No."
"How do you know?"
"Because animals are born."

A five year old can learn to understand very basic, underlying ideas behind empirical evidence and critical thinking. You just have to include them in their education right along with verbal skills and safety and everything else you teach them.

[TeresaBenedicta]

I never remember it coming up as a kid, to be honest...  My parents taught me morals but didn't have to resort to religion to do so.  There was never a time when they sat me down and said, "Now TeresaBenedicta, there is no God."  It just wasn't a subject of conversation. 

[Big Daddy]

I'd like to thank everyone for their responses - especially Will.  I'm going to try that lesson with him and see if it works.

He is extremely inquisitive, however he is having issues discerning between "fact" and fiction.  For example, it took us several days to convince him that Santa Claus wasn't real after his teacher was nice enough to warn the kids to be good as Santa Claus coming.

Thanks for your help!

[Cooper20]

It's difficult because at such a young age kids have such a vivid imagination and tend to believe everything the adults teach them, plus their little brains are a blank canvas.

I feel that if they are to be exposed to a religion that they should be exposed to all the religions and told of their incompatibilities. It should be educational rather than persuasive and the little kiddies should be the ones making the decisions. Even if they choose one I don't feel they should be indoctorined at an early age, it is just brainwashing in my opinion. Once they are old enough to read and decide which books they want to read then let them do whatever, if they choose to go to a libruary and get the bible, quran, torah ... then so be it.

Agree aswell.

I wish I had been taught of other religions, or at least told that non-believers weren't Satanic.

I frequently find myself getting angry at teachers of my brothers school for what he comes home telling me (he's 10), but I calm myself down, because I went through that, and although it still effects me today, I came to realize the realities of life.

[Whitney]

I wouldn't worry too much over a 5 year old believing in things that aren't real.  Imagination is part of the developmental process and can help them develop their creativity.  That said, it also helps to ask them questions that get them thinking; even if they make up an answer to maintain their imagination world.  I just got done reading Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass (you could get through both of them in a week or two of bedtime stories or in one weekend day; depending on how much time you have to read).  They are both very good primers for getting kids to think about the difference between reality and make believe because they both have her wake up to the real world.

[Big Daddy]

I wouldn't worry too much over a 5 year old believing in things that aren't real.  Imagination is part of the developmental process and can help them develop their creativity.  That said, it also helps to ask them questions that get them thinking; even if they make up an answer to maintain their imagination world.  I just got done reading Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass (you could get through both of them in a week or two of bedtime stories or in one weekend day; depending on how much time you have to read).  They are both very good primers for getting kids to think about the difference between reality and make believe because they both have her wake up to the real world.

I don't have a problem with imagination or make believe.  In fact, we encourage him to make up stories about dinosaurs, elves, and even talking sharks.  However, the problem I have here is that his teachers and "friends" aren't teaching him that these things are imaginary - but are purporting them as real.  I'm balancing that with not wanting him to "challenge" his teachers or friends on these issues, because it's not the kind of stress he needs at this point.  I'll check out AiW and TLG.