i've thrown out the bathwater to find there is no baby...

[kitty]

hi everyone.
i'm very new to this, both atheism and forums so please wish me all the best.
please allow to bang on for a mo', i dont really have anyone to talk to about this.

i was brought up a christian and have been quite heavily involved most of my life, 4 hr long prayer meetings and week long christian conferences included.
despite reading it religiously (haha) every night, i had always taken the 'the word of god' with a pinch of salt, especially the old testament. i was happy to take it as non-literal, peotry, illustrations of ideas, etc, etc. i think so long as i believed that god existed and that he was the voice in my head (rather than my own conscience), i was fine. i do hope you know what i mean.

slowly but surely, thoughts and ideas have been settling in my head and i eventually came to the conclusion that not only was the invention of religion and the writing of the bible and very human thing to do (seems that every culture has their own), but that most importantly, when my friends/family and i spend hours praying, there is no one listening.
every month we would go to night church to pray for 4 hours & everyone (including me) would get visions and words, & it was always the same junk. when i was going through some stuff, i kept waiting for god to send word through one of them, but it never happened. there was one time ages ago i was asked to translate some foreign words for a friend (through prayer rather than google lol), and i was entirely convinced i had recieved the translation. but when i told my mum, i knew it was nonsense. my gut kept telling me it was a load of rubbish and for years i've ignored it.
my mum is into prayer in a big way. i simply dont know how i'm going to tell her how much my thoughts have changed. its been 6 months since i finally put all the pieces together. i keep having to hide my library books from her, even my son's school enrolment form which included the usual race and religion question.

anyway, i'm very happy as an atheist. the constant guilt has gone (i dont have to spend every night reading my bible and praying) and i am now accountable for my own actions, rather than waiting to be told off (or some other horrid punishment) by some bloke who lives in the sky. i've read the obvious dawkins and others, and have more interesting looking books in my library book bag.
it's difficult going from the extremely religious to nothingness, if you know what i mean.

some day i'll gather up my guts and tell my mum, but i can pretty much guarrantee she'll arrange an emergency prayer meeting and call it a spiritual attack.

looking forward to having people i can talk to about the every day stuff that is affected by the fact that we dont presume there's a man in the sky looking after us, and dare i say it....there isnt a heaven for the dead bunny to go to? (our bunny recently died & i had to explain to the kids why/where he'd gone, VERY tempting to say bunny heaven).

anyhoo, thanks for reading if you got this far.
kitty x

[OldGit]

You've made the right move now, kitty.  Just stay calm and don't let them rattle you.  You have kids but don't mention a partner - will you be getting any support from him?

We're always here to cheer you on.

[kitty]

hi.
yes, i have a partner. he's very supportive, always has been, but he's a bit of an agnostic and tends to believe in some of that spiritual crap that i cant cope with.
he and my sister are the only people i can be honest with about all this. my sister walked away from her faith years ago, so my mum will freak when she finds she's too heathen daughters lol.
but i'm fine, no stress really. enjoying reading other people's opinions and stories.
kitty x

[Recusant]

Hello and welcome to HAF, kitty. Thank you for that comprehensive introduction. (I'm serious!   If you have any questions about dealing with the forum software, you can look in the Help Desk section, or just ask the question.

Notes for new members from Tank:

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Pets...what do you have?
How to tell your family you are an atheist.*
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I hope you enjoy your time reading and posting here! 

[Tank]

Hello Kitty

Being a never-theist in the UK is way different to being an ex-theist in the USA. But I have seen many, many people arrive where you are now and there are quite a few here so your among friends.

Welcome to HAF 

Regards
Chris

[jumbojak]

When you do decide to tell her, make sure you break the news gently, preferably by dropping hints before you come out and say it. I've found that the deeply religious react much better to the news that a loved one no longer believes as they do when they get their feet wet first.

[Tank]

When you do decide to tell her, make sure you break the news gently, preferably by dropping hints before you come out and say it. I've found that the deeply religious react much better to the news that a loved one no longer believes as they do when they get their feet wet first.

Wise words indeed.

[Anti-antidisestablishmentarianism]

When you do decide to tell her, make sure you break the news gently, preferably by dropping hints before you come out and say it. I've found that the deeply religious react much better to the news that a loved one no longer believes as they do when they get their feet wet first.

Welcome! You could always just do what I did and come right out and say it then when she reacts respond by quoting bible verses and insulting them.  Or maybe just do what jumbo mentioned yeah that would probably be better 

[Tank]

When you do decide to tell her, make sure you break the news gently, preferably by dropping hints before you come out and say it. I've found that the deeply religious react much better to the news that a loved one no longer believes as they do when they get their feet wet first.

Welcome! You could always just do what I did and come right out and say it then when she reacts respond by quoting bible verses and insulting them.  Or maybe just do what jumbo mentioned yeah that would probably be better 

I never would have thought that 'subtle' was a word missing from your vocabulary! 

[texasatheist]

Doesn't it feel good to make purpose than to pray for it?!  It's been 5 years and I'm still like a kid in a candy store with science, and how great life really is without the fairy tales. I feel bad for my family and friends still trapped in that ridiculous lie, and I'd love to break them out but it's just not possible.  They have to have that journey themselves like I did.  But if they ever do I know they'll come to me first. 

I love hearing stories of others breaking free, it never gets old.  Welcome to HAF.

[Firebird]

Welcome! A lot of people here have been in your situation, and have posted some great stories of how they dealt with it on the forum. Definitely go search for them, hopefully it will help a bit.

[Ali]

Hi and welcome!

Wow, going from translating foreign words via prayer to atheism, that's a big step!  I don't really have a lot of advice for breaking it to your mom, just to say that you are your own person and you have to live your own life.  If she's upset or disappointed, that's sad and all, but it's not up to her.  Just like she has the freedom to live her life and choose what she believes and what she teaches/taught her children, so do you.  It's not personal, it's just about you living your own life and following your own heart and mind.  I find when I phrase it that way (to myself) I feel less emtionally involved when my parents get all disapproving about my beliefs.  I'm adult, there is nothing they can do but choose to accept it or not, it's not my problem.  That's my mantra.    Anyway, welcome.

[Anti-antidisestablishmentarianism]

When you do decide to tell her, make sure you break the news gently, preferably by dropping hints before you come out and say it. I've found that the deeply religious react much better to the news that a loved one no longer believes as they do when they get their feet wet first.

Welcome! You could always just do what I did and come right out and say it then when she reacts respond by quoting bible verses and insulting them.  Or maybe just do what jumbo mentioned yeah that would probably be better 

I never would have thought that 'subtle' was a word missing from your vocabulary! 

If by subtle you mean clearly stating what I mean in the most offensive manner possible without any prior thought to what I am going to say then yeah.  Yeah I'm very subtle 

[xSilverPhinx]

Welcome!

[Sandra Craft]

i do hope you know what i mean.

I think there's very little chance most of us won't know what you mean -- we've pretty much all been there and we love to talk about it.