Epic Fail

[Asmodean]

Source in Norwegian

Lazy-ass translated using Google Translate

(VG Web Edition) A 56-year-old from Austria cut off his foot, hoping to keep the unemployment insurance fund, only to discover that he was still eligible for employment.

Hans Url had been long-term unemployed when he was told by his local employment office that he had to accept a job offer, or they would stop payment of the insurance fund, writes the Daily Mail.

 He first tried to say he was too ill and that none of the jobs would suit him, but then demanded the employment that he should undergo a medical examination.

 Url decided to resort to desperate action.

Swed off the foot

 He waited until his wife and adult son had left the house before getting the circular saw.

 He placed his left foot under the saw and cut it off just above the ankle, before he threw it into the stove so that it would be impossible to reattach.

 After he had assured himself that the foot was destroyed by fire, he dragged himself down to the garage before he called the emergency services.

 Police said 56-year-old almost have died because of blood loss before emergency services arrived and brought him to the nearest hospital, where he was operated on, according to the English newspaper.

 - The foot was too burned to be reattached to the body. All we could do was close the wound, said a spokesman for the hospital.

Must continue to work

 Although Url went to great lengths to stay out of work, he can still get a foot inside. (Asmo: What they mean is that he can still get one foot inside the job market. How's that for rubbin' it in?   )

 According to the local employment office, this is a tragic case, but that will not hold to make the 56-year-old incapacitated.

 - Losing a leg does not automatically mean that he will not be able to work. When he is out of hospital he will be consider and we shall see what kind of work that might suit him, said spokesman Hermann Gössinger.

EDIT: Some minor corrections to Google's fine translating  

[Too Few Lions]

hehe what a great story, thanks Asmo. I'll give him 10/10 for effort.
I can't say I like working, but that does seem an extreme way to try and avoid work

[Ali]

LOL  It's amazing how hard some people will work (like sawing off your foot and watching it burn) to get out of work.

I would have to cut off all of my fingers to get out of my job.

[Asmodean]

Imagine, there is the guy after chopping off foot, newly out of hospital, going to the doctor to get his disability only to be told "Fail! You can still has job" 

If that aint one of the greatest facepalm moments, I don't know what is.

[DeterminedJuliet]

That is one stubborn bastard.

[xSilverPhinx]

hehe what a great story, thanks Asmo. I'll give him 10/10 for effort.
I can't say I like working, but that does seem an extreme way to try and avoid work

More like 10/10 for desperation! 

[chris]

It would be seasonal work, but when the grapes are ready, he could be a specialty treader; the wine could be labeled to indicate its unique production method.  I think a label picturing one grape stained foot would work well.

[OldGit]

^ LOL

[Sweetdeath]

Holycow, what a loon!!!


Just get really, really fat and develope type2 diabeties like my useless uncle. The U.S gov somehow thinks that is "legally handicapped." Which is a serious insult to REAL problems people have.

[Asmodean]

Holycow, what a loon!!!


Just get really, really fat and develope type2 diabeties like my useless uncle. The U.S gov somehow thinks that is "legally handicapped." Which is a serious insult to REAL problems people have.

Ah, but he is not IN the US, now is he?

[Sweetdeath]

Holycow, what a loon!!!


Just get really, really fat and develope type2 diabeties like my useless uncle. The U.S gov somehow thinks that is "legally handicapped." Which is a serious insult to REAL problems people have.

Ah, but he is not IN the US, now is he?

True, and I am unsure how the gov works in  UK. :3

[Asmodean]

True, and I am unsure how the gov works in  UK. :3

Aint there either. 

Now, any one else got a parade The Asmo can rain on? 

[Tank]

Holycow, what a loon!!!


Just get really, really fat and develope type2 diabeties like my useless uncle. The U.S gov somehow thinks that is "legally handicapped." Which is a serious insult to REAL problems people have.

Ah, but he is not IN the US, now is he?

True, and I am unsure how the gov works in  UK. :3

Well most of the people in the UK don't know, and couldn't care less, how our government works!

[Sweetdeath]

True, and I am unsure how the gov works in  UK. :3

Aint there either. 

Now, any one else got a parade The Asmo can rain on? 

You are very cheerful today. :p

[Asmodean]

You are very cheerful today. :p

...And the article, it sort of mentions Austria in the first sentence. Just a tiny specklet.