Atheist, Humanist, whatever you'd like to call me . . .

[Anti-antidisestablishmentarianism]

Hello. My fear of death and atheism kind of came together at the same time.  Once I realized I didn't "believe" anymore, I became scared to think of nothingness.  Anyway welcome!

[Dobermonster]

Robert - 'nothingness' really is the only way to describe it. It was confounding when I realized that not everyone thinks about death and how only the span of a breath separates us from consciousness and the void. It's something that lives in my thoughts constantly. The one grace we have (as I see it) is the flood of endorphins at the end that eliminates anxiety and eases into unconsciousness peacefully. Maybe one day I'll come up with a less feeble reason to be at peace with mortality.

En_Route - Thanks for your kind words. A demeaning situation? Yes. Infuriating? Even more so. It's hard for people around me to understand just how dogmatic these folks are, and how much they despise my lifestyle. When we were arguing the other day, it ended up in a very typical atheist vs. Christianity conflict, which I was trying to avoid from the start. At some point during this, I brought up their religion's attitude towards my sexuality, and my own mother stated that being bi was as bad as being a paedophile. Yes, you read that right. Having relations with someone of the same sex is equivalent to molesting children. At least in the eyes of God. And they wonder why I think their god is a dick.

Anyhow . . . it has blown over and we are back to niceties. I keep telling myself that they are just misguided . . . that they are trying to be good people in their own way and just don't understand how hurtful their words are.

[En_Route]

Religion has wreaked enormous harm in the field of personal relationships. Gay sex inspires particular horror amongst the theistic  ranks so your parents'attitude is not so shocking in that context.

[Dobermonster]

Have received the following notice from the people in question:

"Internet posting of messages, photos, or any sayings or words that are rude, derogatory, profane, or otherwise contrary to our faith and Christian standard is prohibited."

I have no words. How ironic. I did not think they would stoop this far. There was a verbal addendum of "And no posting anything promoting homosexuality".

Moved in exactly one week ago. Moving out now priority one.

Might have to postpone post-secondary education once more.

Fucking depressed.

[Traveler]

That stinks. I'm so sorry. If you really have trouble with their limits, most libraries have free computer access.

[En_Route]

Have received the following notice from the people in question:

"Internet posting of messages, photos, or any sayings or words that are rude, derogatory, profane, or otherwise contrary to our faith and Christian standard is prohibited."

I have no words. How ironic. I did not think they would stoop this far. There was a verbal addendum of "And no posting anything promoting homosexuality".

Moved in exactly one week ago. Moving out now priority one.

Might have to postpone post-secondary education once more.

Fucking depressed.

That's some all-purpose wash-your-mouth-out-and -say- three -thousand- hail- Marys mega-filter. China would be proud of it. Have you friends who could advise you of a workaround? I sincerely hope you find a means of circumventing this - primarily for your own sake but also selfishly because I'm enjoying your posts.

[Anne D.]

I'm sorry for your situation, Dobermonster; that really, really bites. I hope you can find a good solution soon.

[Dobermonster]

Well, I've spent quite a bit of time yesterday and today making the point that inhibiting free speech within the household would no more encourage good relations between the three of us than it would endear citizens to a (even benevolent) dictator. Went on to outline that the ease with which they discard/inhibit this particular right trivializes and disrespects the people have been persecuted or killed in the pursuit of it. Perhaps a bit heavy-handed? Anyhow, apparently the source of all this was from being butt-hurt over a facebook post I made some months ago that criticized proselytization. If they wish to trade the remainder of respect I had for them and their faith for the illusion of it, so be it. I only wish they valued our relationship more than security against being offended.

Will keep on posting here as normal, and if the hammer falls, I'll just have to rely on the glory of Starbucks wi-fi. If nothing else, I've been inspired to do some writing.

[Traveler]

Yay! Sounds good, and I admire your courage under fire.

[Firebird]

Do you have a smartphone by any chance? If so, maybe your best bet is to use that, and/or to tether its internet connection to your computer. It costs money to tether, but it might be worth it. Or if you're really comfortable with technology, you can do what I did and root your phone to get free tethering. Either way, it can help you avoid their version of the Great Firewall.

Either way, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Hang in there.

[Anti-antidisestablishmentarianism]

That's too bad about your mother. I know how they feel towards homosexuality.  It is pretty much the same with the suicide thing.  Some in my family have commited suicide, and they told me that the only thing for them is eternal hellfire.  Complete bullshit.  I listen to how merciful their god is right before they talk about burning in hell for gluttony.  Yeah that sounds pretty merciful.  I told my mother that I am an atheist and she said you have a problem with your head. I said because I don't believe in a 600 year old drunken fool building a giant ark I have a problem.  She said It really says that? Yeah so don't criticize me on my beliefs when you haven't even read the fricking book.  She quit bothering me after that because when she brings it up I throw up more ridiculous parts of the bible.  People tend to leave me alone with the bible argument bc they know that the things in it are ridiculous and impossible. Being a homosexual is wrong why? It goes against the nature that god created. Really? Was that before or after the talking snake? Oh you forgot that part? How about people rising up into the sky for no reason? Riiiight.

[Dobermonster]

That's too bad about your mother. I know how they feel towards homosexuality.  It is pretty much the same with the suicide thing.  Some in my family have commited suicide, and they told me that the only thing for them is eternal hellfire.  Complete bullshit.  I listen to how merciful their god is right before they talk about burning in hell for gluttony.  Yeah that sounds pretty merciful.  I told my mother that I am an atheist and she said you have a problem with your head. I said because I don't believe in a 600 year old drunken fool building a giant ark I have a problem.  She said It really says that? Yeah so don't criticize me on my beliefs when you haven't even read the fricking book.  She quit bothering me after that because when she brings it up I throw up more ridiculous parts of the bible.  People tend to leave me alone with the bible argument bc they know that the things in it are ridiculous and impossible. Being a homosexual is wrong why? It goes against the nature that god created. Really? Was that before or after the talking snake? Oh you forgot that part? How about people rising up into the sky for no reason? Riiiight.

As someone who has struggled with depression for years, and contemplated suicide more than a couple times, the (largely Catholic, I believe) belief that those who commit suicide deserve eternal hellfire is appalling as well. A god that inflicts torment on already tormented souls is not a god I care to serve, regardless of whether or not he/she/it exists. Not to mention, clinical depression very often has neurological causes - so the god who designed my mind fucked up . . . and because of his mistake, I must pay. (And don't give me that, 'if you just turn to Jebus, he will deliver you from your sorrow' line . . . prayer is about as likely to cure a psychological disorder as it is to cure cancer). Sorry . . . I've been in permanent vent mode for the last week, and it all pours out whenever someone mentions an issue close to my heart.

I've brought up the more malicious and insane properties of the old testament God to these people as well. Two guesses as to what their answer was, the first one doesn't count. Yep, "God works in mysterious ways". I'm sure none of what I've said comes as a surprise to anyone who's had a 5 minute conversation with a devout, but there it is.

Don't have a smartphone, I got rid of it when trimming my budget some months ago. I might be in a position to get one in a couple months, we'll see. This 'tethering' thing sounds interesting . . . from that you might guess I'm not completely techno-literate, but where there's a will, there's a way.

Thanks again everyone who posted supportive words . . . I didn't really mean for this thread to become a stream of whingeing, lol, but I do appreciate the opportunity to vent to like-minded folks. Will make more of an attempt to come up with positive discussions - doG willing.

[Firebird]

Tethering means you use your phone as your internet connection, either by connecting it to your computer via usb or turning it on in wireless mode, so it acts like its own wireless router. Short of that, maybe you should just try to mooch off a neighbor's wi-fi

And yes, I am up far too late for US time. Damn insomnia again.

[En_Route]

That's too bad about your mother. I know how they feel towards homosexuality.  It is pretty much the same with the suicide thing.  Some in my family have commited suicide, and they told me that the only thing for them is eternal hellfire.  Complete bullshit.  I listen to how merciful their god is right before they talk about burning in hell for gluttony.  Yeah that sounds pretty merciful.  I told my mother that I am an atheist and she said you have a problem with your head. I said because I don't believe in a 600 year old drunken fool building a giant ark I have a problem.  She said It really says that? Yeah so don't criticize me on my beliefs when you haven't even read the fricking book.  She quit bothering me after that because when she brings it up I throw up more ridiculous parts of the bible.  People tend to leave me alone with the bible argument bc they know that the things in it are ridiculous and impossible. Being a homosexual is wrong why? It goes against the nature that god created. Really? Was that before or after the talking snake? Oh you forgot that part? How about people rising up into the sky for no reason? Riiiight.

As someone who has struggled with depression for years, and contemplated suicide more than a couple times, the (largely Catholic, I believe) belief that those who commit suicide deserve eternal hellfire is appalling as well. A god that inflicts torment on already tormented souls is not a god I care to serve, regardless of whether or not he/she/it exists. Not to mention, clinical depression very often has neurological causes - so the god who designed my mind fucked up . . . and because of his mistake, I must pay. (And don't give me that, 'if you just turn to Jebus, he will deliver you from your sorrow' line . . . prayer is about as likely to cure a psychological disorder as it is to cure cancer). Sorry . . . I've been in permanent vent mode for the last week, and it all pours out whenever someone mentions an issue close to my heart.

I've brought up the more malicious and insane properties of the old testament God to these people as well. Two guesses as to what their answer was, the first one doesn't count. Yep, "God works in mysterious ways". I'm sure none of what I've said comes as a surprise to anyone who's had a 5 minute conversation with a devout, but there it is.

Don't have a smartphone, I got rid of it when trimming my budget some months ago. I might be in a position to get one in a couple months, we'll see. This 'tethering' thing sounds interesting . . . from that you might guess I'm not completely techno-literate, but where there's a will, there's a way.

Thanks again everyone who posted supportive words . . . I didn't really mean for this thread to become a stream of whingeing, lol, but I do appreciate the opportunity to vent to like-minded folks. Will make more of an attempt to come up with positive discussions - doG willing.

Not to re-enter the lists in terms of the free will/ personal responsibility debate, the idea that you might serve an infinite jail sentence for your malfunctioning imposed by the very guy who made you was the self-evident absurdity that gave me the intellectual justification to ditch the Catholic faith at a fairly precocious age. Like you, and I suspect anyone with a bent towards reflectiveness and introversion, I've had the black dog snapping at my heels throughout my life too. I find Mindfulness has been helpful in keeping him in his kennel; it has been shown to produce changes in the brain which counter low mood. Could I say, without criticising, that I think confronting your parents may seem  therapeutic and justified but will probably only  exacerbate your domestic difficulties. Nobody wants to hear they are wrong or have their most cherished beliefs dissed. And you certainly aren't going to wreak any transformation in their entrenched positions. You don't have to pretend to agree with them but maybe it would ease things a little if you steered clear of areas of disagreement (if they let you, that is).


EDIT: Put Ed's comment outside the quotes    Tank

[Anti-antidisestablishmentarianism]

I never got that either. Somebody is in so much pain they decide to end it, so they are going to be put in a place where they are in pain for all eternity? Doesn't add up to me