Make an Offering to a God

[The Magic Pudding]

Pascal's Wager is a crock but that doesn't mean we shouldn't gain ourselves some favour from at least one deity.

Deuteronomy 23:12-14

New International Version (NIV)

12 Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. 13 As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. 14 For the LORD your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you.

I know I don't want god stumbling around in the dark getting crap between his toes, that's bound to get him all grumpy and smitey.



That Cthulu sounds worrying, I'd like him/her to sleep as peacefully as possible.



In your own self interest, because you're nice or not so nice I invite you to make an offering to the deity of your choice.

[DeterminedJuliet]

I present a fresh human heart to the god Huitzilopochtli .


What can I say, I'm old-fashioned.

[Asmodean]

For The Great and Fearsome Asmo. Noodles. Nice. 

[Pharaoh Cat]

My offering to the Logic Elf:

Clouds are high.
Smoking pot makes you high.
Conclusion: Clouds smoke pot.

Syllogise!

[OldGit]

Aargh, I know what to offer to our Noodly Master:

[Stevil]

To YHWH I give the philosophy of the golden rule.
"Treat others as you would like to be treated"

No more mass drownings, angry she bears, pillars of salt etc
I know it might seem a bit boring at first, but you will find people might start to like you for who you are rather than "love" you through fear of being smited.

Oh, by the way.
It would do you the world of good to pop by and talk to people rather than sit back and judge everyone. No-one like a judgmental, holier than thou, uppity, snobbish prude.

[Buddy]

To YHWH I give the philosophy of the golden rule.
"Treat others as you would like to be treated"

No more mass drownings, angry she bears, pillars of salt etc
I know it might seem a bit boring at first, but you will find people might start to like you for who you are rather than "love" you through fear of being smited.

Oh, by the way.
It would do you the world of good to pop by and talk to people rather than sit back and judge everyone. No-one like a judgmental, holier than thou, uppity, snobbish prude.

That... Is actually a really good idea.

[The Magic Pudding]

I think this might help him take it easier on us.
With a little luck he will learn to appreciate our efforts, perhaps award us points for a job well done.

[Sandra Craft]

Pascal's Wager is a crock but that doesn't mean we shouldn't gain ourselves some favour from at least one deity.

Well, if it can be any deity at all, here's an offering for one of my favorites, Cernnunnos:



Now he can organize his wealth instead of carrying it around in a purse at his waist.  Unless, of course, he likes that sort of thing.

[znk666]

For the God of the bible,or to any other god in general.

[xSilverPhinx]

So he can chomp on something while he organises his wealth with the Cernnunnos.

[Sandra Craft]

That is seriously creepy!

[xSilverPhinx]

That is seriously creepy!

Isn't it? That's why I thought it was a fitting choice.

[The Magic Pudding]

God has many representatives on Earth, they do some dodgy things and I'd like to make it easier for god to control them.

[The Magic Pudding]

I'm offering bacon, the smell of cooking bacon to the anti pig gods.
They will smell the goodness and have to rethink their opposition and possibly some of their other ideas.

Or have I failed to fully appreciate the evil nature of gods?
They know bacon is good and that's why they forbid it to us!