Living with a Girl That I Asked Out

[Godless]

So one of my friends that lives with the girl that I used to like and that I had asked out before is graduating in May. I had made a thread about the girl earlier. This means my other friend is looking for someone to replace him next year and he asked me if I want to room there next year. I told him that I'd think about it, but after doing so I'm not too sure if it would be a good idea. She seems to be relatively cool with me, but I feel like it may be a problem for me as I'm going to always be around the girl that I had a pretty big crush on earlier and I'd constantly be reminded about the girl that I will never get. I don't really have many other options for housing next year, since I don't know anyone else looking for a roommate.

[Asmodean]

Take the room. Do the girl. Be happy.  

No, seriously... If you are pretty much out of options, take it. How bad can it be..?

[DeterminedJuliet]

Personally, I'd probably try to avoid it, but if you have limited options and feel like you have to take the offer there's a chance it could be an okay thing after a while. Living with someone could very well ruin the "mystery" about them - it's hard to put them up on a pedestal when you see them flossing/scratching their butt on a semi-regular basis.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

Personally, I'd probably try to avoid it, but if you have limited options and feel like you have to take the offer there's a chance it could be an okay thing after a while. Living with someone could very well ruin the "mystery" about them - it's hard to put them up on a pedestal when you see them flossing/scratching their butt on a semi-regular basis.

This makes the case for sort of a continual dating relationship.  Everyone has their own space, everyone puts on their best face for the "date", and the mystery is never destroyed by the scratching scenario.  In the 21st Century, I wonder if not only marriage will survive, but even the living together situation.  I sort of see each person as becoming their own multi-national corporation, and never merging with any other corporation, only doing joint-ventures.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

Personally, I'd probably try to avoid it, but if you have limited options and feel like you have to take the offer there's a chance it could be an okay thing after a while. Living with someone could very well ruin the "mystery" about them - it's hard to put them up on a pedestal when you see them flossing/scratching their butt on a semi-regular basis.

This makes the case for sort of a continual dating relationship.  Everyone has their own space, everyone puts on their best face for the "date", and the mystery is never destroyed by the scratching scenario.  In the 21st Century, I wonder not only if marriage will survive, but even the living together situation.  I sort of see each person as becoming their own multi-national corporation, and never merging with any other corporation, only doing joint-ventures.

[Sgtmackenzie]

I would avoid this if at all possible.    I was in this situation after graduating high school, and it was not pleasant, especially when she was bringing home new guys on a regular basis.   

It may be worth spending more time looking for an alternative option.   

[squidfetish]

Yep. How are you going to feel when her headboard is banging against the adjoining wall like Mike Portnoy's bass drums while she's being shagged senseless by someone else? Don't do it if you're likely to be offended by this.  

[Stevil]

If you are not the type of person to be devastated by jealousness, then do it.

Living with you, gives her an opportunity to fall in love with the magic of you.
It may not happen, and she might rather date every man and his dog other than you.
It may also backfire and you could become such a good friend that she thinks of you like a brother <cringe>

But really, I would say, don't over think it.
Either you guys are extremely compatible and something will happen or, for some reason you are not compatible and you will simply end up as friends. It just depends on your tendency to be jealous.

[Godless]

Yep. How are you going to feel when her headboard is banging against the adjoining wall like Mike Portnoy's bass drums while she's being shagged senseless by someone else? Don't do it if you're likely to be offended by this.  

Well she's really not that kind of girl. Apparently she's already turned down a lot of other guys. Their option right now is either get me to live with them or they're going to find a random guy to live there.

[yepimonfire]

Personally, I'd probably try to avoid it, but if you have limited options and feel like you have to take the offer there's a chance it could be an okay thing after a while. Living with someone could very well ruin the "mystery" about them - it's hard to put them up on a pedestal when you see them flossing/scratching their butt on a semi-regular basis.

This makes the case for sort of a continual dating relationship.  Everyone has their own space, everyone puts on their best face for the "date", and the mystery is never destroyed by the scratching scenario.  In the 21st Century, I wonder if not only marriage will survive, but even the living together situation.  I sort of see each person as becoming their own multi-national corporation, and never merging with any other corporation, only doing joint-ventures.

i don't know about you but i just wouldn't be happy if i couldn't make a commitment to the girl i love and have a relationship, house, family blah blah blah together. besides, children NEED both parents. i grew up without a father. it's alot harder then you think and it really fucks you up later in life when you feel confused about your male role.

all this testosterone and what to do with it.....

beleif in god or no beleif in god, i think it is an honorable thing for two people to commit themselves to eachother, and i think divorce is really a tragedy. i also feel strongly about celibacy, regardless of having a religious background in the past i ALWAYS felt strongly about waiting for that one person, and making sure i was also there only one person. sex is so much better when you have a strong emotional passion for someone.

[squidfetish]

Well she's really not that kind of girl. Apparently she's already turned down a lot of other guys. Their option right now is either get me to live with them or they're going to find a random guy to live there.

Hmm.... is she looking to hook up with someone or is she happily single?  Could it be that she might not want to date a guy she lives in the same place with for fear of upsetting the chemistry of the house or feeling uncomfortable if it didn't work out?  I'm not trying to piss you off here, I'm sort of playing devil's advocate with worst case scenarios.... only you can be the best judge of the situation.

[DeterminedJuliet]

Yep. How are you going to feel when her headboard is banging against the adjoining wall like Mike Portnoy's bass drums while she's being shagged senseless by someone else? Don't do it if you're likely to be offended by this.  

Well she's really not that kind of girl. Apparently she's already turned down a lot of other guys. Their option right now is either get me to live with them or they're going to find a random guy to live there.

Even girls who aren't "that kind of girl" could like sex. It is a possibility that you should make peace with before you make a decision.

[Tank]

Yep. How are you going to feel when her headboard is banging against the adjoining wall like Mike Portnoy's bass drums while she's being shagged senseless by someone else? Don't do it if you're likely to be offended by this.  

Well she's really not that kind of girl. Apparently she's already turned down a lot of other guys. Their option right now is either get me to live with them or they're going to find a random guy to live there.

Even girls who aren't "that kind of girl" could like sex. It is a possibility that you should make peace with before you make a decision.

"That kind of girl" 

[Godless]

Well she's really not that kind of girl. Apparently she's already turned down a lot of other guys. Their option right now is either get me to live with them or they're going to find a random guy to live there.

Hmm.... is she looking to hook up with someone or is she happily single?  Could it be that she might not want to date a guy she lives in the same place with for fear of upsetting the chemistry of the house or feeling uncomfortable if it didn't work out?  I'm not trying to piss you off here, I'm sort of playing devil's advocate with worst case scenarios.... only you can be the best judge of the situation.

I asked her out way before I had considered living there so I highly doubt that's why she turned me down. When I told her I liked her she said I'm not really looking for a relationship.

[squidfetish]

Well she's really not that kind of girl. Apparently she's already turned down a lot of other guys. Their option right now is either get me to live with them or they're going to find a random guy to live there.

Hmm.... is she looking to hook up with someone or is she happily single?  Could it be that she might not want to date a guy she lives in the same place with for fear of upsetting the chemistry of the house or feeling uncomfortable if it didn't work out?  I'm not trying to piss you off here, I'm sort of playing devil's advocate with worst case scenarios.... only you can be the best judge of the situation.

I asked her out way before I had considered living there so I highly doubt that's why she turned me down. When I told her I liked her she said I'm not really looking for a relationship.

Ah, I see. Personally, I think I'd live elsewhere, but you gotta do what you gotta do....