Does God have nipples?

[xSilverPhinx]

-Edit: nevermind-

[fyv0h]

"it's not the size that matters"

Actually, it does. Even if it doesn't necessarilly matter the most, it still matters.

Now, "Bigger is better", on the other hand, is a rather questionable statement.

I knew that ocean motion shit was garbage...

[Too Few Lions]

And no body hair.

they were both naturists, and removing body hair's pretty common practice in the naturist community!

[Gawen]

And no body hair.

...removing body hair's pretty common practice in the naturist community!

That's an oxymoron if I ever heard one...*chucklin*

[DeterminedJuliet]

I've always wanted to ask a creationist why, if God created us all in his image, do we all look so different?

I mean, most of us would say genetics and evolution, etc, etc, but if you just think that God went "poof!", and we're supposed to look just like him, why don't we all look the same?

[Sweetdeath]

Maybe god is a big blob made of all the races combined?   Creeeepy.

[SuperiorEd]

I answered this in another forum a few months ago.  Here is my response.

I have good news for you. YES HE DOES!

If I created a Sims character in my image, where is He? He is 'in' my image. He is 'in' the computer. The universe is God's image; a reflection of Him and His goodness to you. If you are wondering about His attributes, go ahead and start with the nipple idea. Keep going until you humble your heart and see yourself by the light of God's image. He loves you as you the babe suckling milk from His word and He loves you just as much after you are weened.

1 Peter 2
1 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3 now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.   

Admit it! Every one of you have lain awake night after night pondering this question.

God is always referred to by the top 3 as "he", "him," and "Lord" - never as "she", "her" or Lordette...or even "it." But He created Adam in his own image, and Adam was a man like any other so...nipples? Nipples have no real purpose on a man, and if god is a man, his nipples serve no purpose, so why does god have nipples?

What is the purpose of God's nipples? Ahhh....but I have found out that God indeed has nipples and what they were used for, in at least one instance. Behold:

The Odes of Solomon
Ode 19
1. A cup of milk was offered to me, and I drank it in the sweetness of the Lord's kindness.
2. The Son is the cup, and the Father is He who was milked; and the Holy Spirit is She who milked Him;
3. Because His breasts were full, and it was undesirable that His milk should be ineffectually released.
4. The Holy Spirit opened Her bosom, and mixed the milk of the two breasts of the Father.
5. Then She gave the mixture to the generation without their knowing, and those who have received it are in the perfection of the right hand.
6. The womb of the Virgin took it, and she received conception and gave birth.
7. So the Virgin became a mother with great mercies.
8. And she labored and bore the Son but without pain, because it did not occur without purpose.
9. And she did not require a midwife, because He caused her to give life.
10. She brought forth like a strong man with desire, and she bore according to the manifestation, and she acquired according to the Great Power.
11. And she loved with redemption, and guarded with kindness, and declared with grandeur.
Hallelujah.

And there you have it! HeGod has breasts that lactate. One must infer nipples. Now that that is out of the way, I can sleep at night.


Or maybe not.

Because now I'm going to be thinking if God has a penis. Perhaps not. Well, not when he can impregnate women with his breast milk.

*thinkin*...but then again, maybe he DOES have a penis but suffers erectile dysfunction? Maybe he has a vagina? Or both? If he had both, he could fuck himself...*chucklin*...after all, one never really hears of a Mrs. God.


Oh jeeez....where's my Sominex, Benadryl, Tylenol PM, whisky, vodka and hefe-weisen....gonna need it all tonight!

[Sweetdeath]

Wow..... Just wow.. 

[Stevil]

He loves you as you the babe suckling milk from His word and He loves you just as much after you are weened.

Now that is weird.
Tell me please, are you making stuff up or do you know for certain? Has god him/her/itself told you these gems?

[Tank]

I answered this in another forum a few months ago.  Here is my response.

I have good news for you. YES HE DOES!

If I created a Sims character in my image, where is He? He is 'in' my image. He is 'in' the computer. The universe is God's image; a reflection of Him and His goodness to you. If you are wondering about His attributes, go ahead and start with the nipple idea. Keep going until you humble your heart and see yourself by the light of God's image. He loves you as you the babe suckling milk from His word and He loves you just as much after you are weened.

1 Peter 2
1 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3 now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.   

Admit it! Every one of you have lain awake night after night pondering this question.

God is always referred to by the top 3 as "he", "him," and "Lord" - never as "she", "her" or Lordette...or even "it." But He created Adam in his own image, and Adam was a man like any other so...nipples? Nipples have no real purpose on a man, and if god is a man, his nipples serve no purpose, so why does god have nipples?

What is the purpose of God's nipples? Ahhh....but I have found out that God indeed has nipples and what they were used for, in at least one instance. Behold:

The Odes of Solomon
Ode 19
1. A cup of milk was offered to me, and I drank it in the sweetness of the Lord's kindness.
2. The Son is the cup, and the Father is He who was milked; and the Holy Spirit is She who milked Him;
3. Because His breasts were full, and it was undesirable that His milk should be ineffectually released.
4. The Holy Spirit opened Her bosom, and mixed the milk of the two breasts of the Father.
5. Then She gave the mixture to the generation without their knowing, and those who have received it are in the perfection of the right hand.
6. The womb of the Virgin took it, and she received conception and gave birth.
7. So the Virgin became a mother with great mercies.
8. And she labored and bore the Son but without pain, because it did not occur without purpose.
9. And she did not require a midwife, because He caused her to give life.
10. She brought forth like a strong man with desire, and she bore according to the manifestation, and she acquired according to the Great Power.
11. And she loved with redemption, and guarded with kindness, and declared with grandeur.
Hallelujah.

And there you have it! HeGod has breasts that lactate. One must infer nipples. Now that that is out of the way, I can sleep at night.


Or maybe not.

Because now I'm going to be thinking if God has a penis. Perhaps not. Well, not when he can impregnate women with his breast milk.

*thinkin*...but then again, maybe he DOES have a penis but suffers erectile dysfunction? Maybe he has a vagina? Or both? If he had both, he could fuck himself...*chucklin*...after all, one never really hears of a Mrs. God.


Oh jeeez....where's my Sominex, Benadryl, Tylenol PM, whisky, vodka and hefe-weisen....gonna need it all tonight!

Seven day posting suspension for preaching after a warning. Tank

[Gawen]

Sorry about your luck Ed, but when you come back, I hope you have more and better evidence of God's nipples for us to chew on.
Anyway, you got me to thinking. If you make a Sims character it'll look like you, says you. If God makes a reflection of itself, it'll look like the universe - with nipples no less, says you. Do I really really need to explain how your analogy does not work?

If you are wondering about His attributes...

Oh, you proceed from a false assumption. I do not wonder about an invisible (non-existent) entity's attributes at all. I only report those that I find interesting and fallacious; the invisible god's attributes that people seem to believe in.

Keep going until you humble your heart and see yourself by the light of God's image. He loves you as you the babe suckling milk from His word and He loves you just as much after you are weened.

This proselytising is probably what got you suspended.  Still, I'm 56 years old. Been raised in his word; heard it nearly every day of my life and read it nearly every day of my life. I have not been taken in by the disreputable snake oil salesmen, by their holy book or the God itself.

I find it fascinating that God's love cannot overcome critical thinking. To paraphrase a quote from Star Trek II:
Ed, I'm laughing at the superior...

[DeterminedJuliet]

Thank you, Tank

[xSilverPhinx]

Sorry about your luck Ed, but when you come back, I hope you have more and better evidence of God's nipples for us to chew on.