What's on your mind today?

[Buddy]

Really though, you guys are the best and I couldn't ask for better friends.

Did you really think we would have a problem with this? 

Of course not. I do have some faith in you. :p

[jumbojak]

It's really about you and nobody else, Bud. Do whatever makes you happy and don't worry too much about what other people think.

On my mind is a proposition I received today. Our district organizer is planning on stepping down so he can focus on the D.C. area and wants me to take the position. At first I was shocked, but on further reflection there really isn't anybody else to do the job if he decides that enough is enough.

We have a few old timers who either wouldn't take the task on or have too many other commitments to make things work smoothly. The problem is that Virginia is a pretty big state and I would have to coordinate between Richmond, NOVA, Hampton Roads, and Appalachia. That's a lot of work and I would have to give up some of what I do around here.

Decisions, decisions.... at least I have until the 16th to decide.

[Tank]

It's really about you and nobody else, Bud. Do whatever makes you happy and don't worry too much about what other people think.

On my mind is a proposition I received today. Our district organizer is planning on stepping down so he can focus on the D.C. area and wants me to take the position. At first I was shocked, but on further reflection there really isn't anybody else to do the job if he decides that enough is enough.

We have a few old timers who either wouldn't take the task on or have too many other commitments to make things work smoothly. The problem is that Virginia is a pretty big state and I would have to coordinate between Richmond, NOVA, Hampton Roads, and Appalachia. That's a lot of work and I would have to give up some of what I do around here.

Decisions, decisions.... at least I have until the 16th to decide.

What were your first thoughts?

[jumbojak]

First thought?  I donwanna. BUT, on further reflection I think I'll take the task on. Had breakfast with a few of the folks this morning and they talked me into it. Maybe. I'm really not sure at the moment. When I think about what I'd need to do my head fills with plans but I'm still unsure about things when I think about the big picture.

[Firebird]

Glad you can say it here. Have you told anyone else yet, or are you keeping it quiet for now?

I had planned on telling my parents yesterday but chickened out. I'm not worried that they will reject me or anything, I just couldn't figure out a good way to say it. You guys are my Guinea pigs.

Do you think they'll accept it straight on, though?
It's cheesy, but a gay person I knew cited the scene in "X men 2" where a kid tells his parents he's a mutant, and the mother responded "Have you ever tried not being a mutant?" as a common experience for when they come out.  If there's a chance of that happening, just be prepared to stick to your guns and not express doubt. At least your parents sound like they'll be able to accept it, which is a lot better than some people have.
When my brother came out, he just said it flat out: "I'm gay." No equivocation, no room for doubt. Another friend, when mentioning he broke up with his girlfriend and asked why, just said it simply too: "I think I'm gay." That time we were silent,  not sure if he was joking,  until he said "I'm serious". For me at least, the certainty in their voices helped me regain my balance emotionally, because I was shocked. Not bothered at all, just surprised. I don't know if that helps at all, as you would know how best to handle your parents, but hopefully it does a little.
Good luck! Let us know what happens.

[Tank]

First thought?  I donwanna. BUT, on further reflection I think I'll take the task on. Had breakfast with a few of the folks this morning and they talked me into it. Maybe. I'm really not sure at the moment. When I think about what I'd need to do my head fills with plans but I'm still unsure about things when I think about the big picture.

Do you want to make a difference?
Will the system let you make difference?
Could you tolerate not being allowed to make a difference (however small)? 

[jumbojak]

Yes.
No.
No.

The problem is, I can tend to be a bit harsh on people when I'm in a position of authority. I don't intend to be that way and I try to avoid it but sometimes you just have to push to get things done. The carrot can be effective too but the stick comes into play as well.

[Tank]

Yes.
No.
No.

The problem is, I can tend to be a bit harsh on people when I'm in a position of authority. I don't intend to be that way and I try to avoid it but sometimes you just have to push to get things done. The carrot can be effective too but the stick comes into play as well.

My advice would be to try it and see what happens. Give it 3 months and see what happens. 3 months is the 'honeymoon' period for a job after which the novelty wears off.

[Crow]

I had planned on telling my parents yesterday but chickened out. I'm not worried that they will reject me or anything, I just couldn't figure out a good way to say it. You guys are my Guinea pigs.

Is it important for your parents to know? I understand that the media build it up to be this big must do thing but when you actually think about the topic the more irrelevant it appears to be, especially if your parents are going to be cool with it like most decent parents would be.

I don't talk about my sexual adventures with my parents it isn't really a conversation that comes up, nor is orientation. If it did come up then I would talk to them about it as I have a totally open policy if my parents want to know things but it isn't really relative to everyday life. Lets say I was queer the only time I would really see the need to tell them outside of general chit–chat would be if I was going to get them to meet somebody that I was involved/interested in or if they were asking questions related to the subject. Otherwise it isn't necessary. I didn't tell my parents I had stopped eating animal products even though I hadn't done for about 6 months, the only time I did was when I thought it was necessary for them to know so they could book a restaurant that at least gave me a food option, the same would have gone if I was popping around for food. A choice and an innate thing are not the same but the underlying premise is, you shouldn't nor do you need to explain anything especialy when it is something you are only just starting to explore.

[jumbojak]

Good thoughts Crow. I could see it being an irritant getting asked constantly when you were going to get a boyfriend/girlfriend though. Honestly, I thought about telling my mom I was gay at one point so she'd stop bugging me about the situation. It's not that I was never with someone, just that before Claire it was never a girl I felt comfortable bringing to meet the folks. Lots of crazy women before her. Hell, more than half of them never found out where I LIVED, and at least one never got my real phone number. Google voice really saved my ass on that one...

[Siz]

I agree with you, Crow, to an extent. But if something is a big life choice and/or of personal significance and you have a close relationship with your parents you may well wish to share your journey with them. To withhold information may be putting up barriers that alter the dynamic of that relationship, potentially more damaging than the information itself. Presumably this is the reason behind the well documented compulsion to 'come out'... for those to whom sharing their feelings with their parents is important.

[Tank]

I had planned on telling my parents yesterday but chickened out. I'm not worried that they will reject me or anything, I just couldn't figure out a good way to say it. You guys are my Guinea pigs.

Is it important for your parents to know? I understand that the media build it up to be this big must do thing but when you actually think about the topic the more irrelevant it appears to be, especially if your parents are going to be cool with it like most decent parents would be.

I don't talk about my sexual adventures with my parents it isn't really a conversation that comes up, nor is orientation. If it did come up then I would talk to them about it as I have a totally open policy if my parents want to know things but it isn't really relative to everyday life. Lets say I was queer the only time I would really see the need to tell them outside of general chit–chat would be if I was going to get them to meet somebody that I was involved/interested in or if they were asking questions related to the subject. Otherwise it isn't necessary. I didn't tell my parents I had stopped eating animal products even though I hadn't done for about 6 months, the only time I did was when I thought it was necessary for them to know so they could book a restaurant that at least gave me a food option, the same would have gone if I was popping around for food. A choice and an innate thing are not the same but the underlying premise is, you shouldn't nor do you need to explain anything especialy when it is something you are only just starting to explore.

How did giving up animal products go?

[Tank]

I suppose the thing to do Buddy is not stress. Tell people if it crops up and you want to tell them. Or don't. It's what you are and you are not public property.

[OldGit]

^ Just so.  It's your business and not of public concern.  However, perhaps before you become completely open about it, you'd be better to lie low for a while and settle down with your new orientation.  I wish you all the very best.

[Crow]

How did giving up animal products go?

Really easy. I got to the point where I had been studying the subject for a few years, had the chance to speak to some respected scientists who really opened my eyes and I could find no convincing argument in favour besides it tastes nice. My go to meals are "bowls", I use two different bases usually one that is a mix of protein and carbohydrates such as brown rice mixed with quinoa or amaranth mixed with farro, then a dark green leafy base such as spinach, kale or beetroot leaves. Then from there I add a a selection of vegetables sometimes raw or sometimes prepared in different ways depending on the flavours I want. Then I usually add in a selection of things such as beans, avocado, roasted chickpeas, falafel, potatoes, tofu or other things. Then finish it off with a dressing, I personally like to use a fresh squeezed citrus juice mixed with oils and spices, then throw in some seeds and nuts and mix together. More complicated to the food I used to eat but you can create any flavour profile you want, very easy to put together, super nutritional and very tasty.

The first week I was bloated and farting/crapping a lot and it was disgusting, I hadn't just removed meat I had added a lot of fibre to my diet but that subsided after a week and feel great since. The only thing I still eat animal wise is a B12 supplement that is derived from them as that is the only reliable source. I'm also not staunch about it when eating out as there are still very few places that cater to it and vegi options are always full of dairy in ways you would never expect, though I have quickly found those that give a proper animal free option and maintain creativity are often the far superior restaurants. Wine is another time I don't care about animal products as I am drinking something unhealthy anyway so there is no point is being overly zealous about what ingredient it might have in it and really the only unhealthy thing I currently consume. My consumption of food has shot up and even though I have never had a philosophical dislike to animal food products I do not find them tempting in the slightest, I have no sweet tooth any more either which I found surprising, I had a skittle the other days and it was so sweet I was almost sick. Cheese, milk and eggs I now find to be revolting and cheese was one of my favourite food prior. Skin and hair got so much better and I have to cut my nails three times a week rather than once a week as they grow very fast now. Food shopping has become incredibly cheap I use to spend about £40-£50 a week now it is on average about £10 and on weeks where I need to restock some basics about £20. That is all I have noticed so far.