Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Screwed Over?

[fester30]

It's my 31st wedding anniversary today, so I must be doing something right  lol.

[Tank]

It's my 31st wedding anniversary today, so I must be doing something right  lol.

Thanks  

I'm sure I read somewhere that one of the highest divorce rates is in born again christians.

[SSY]

It's my 31st wedding anniversary today, so I must be doing something right  lol.

Thanks  

I'm sure I read somewhere that one of the highest divorce rates is in born again christians.

If my partner went crazy like that, they would be out the door pronto (interestingly, this makes me as intolerant as fundamental Christians seem to be, maybe I should re-consider my stance).

[Cecilie]

It's my 31st wedding anniversary today, so I must be doing something right  

A little late, but congrats Tank!

[Tank]

It's my 31st wedding anniversary today, so I must be doing something right  

[darkcyd]

Well, scientifically they are going to chose mates that are still alpha males based on generally testosterone, muscles and social dominance. Nice is nice, but if it aint in the top 3, you don't qualify.

2nd by being the "nice guy" you instantly identify yourself with the nice guy who won't cheat and will treat me great. Well, the alpha male of course cheats, he is dominant and can and even though society and upbringing says, you are it, all of her desire will be to pick the alphamale.

The trick here is society has turned our dating/mating selections on their heads and you are getting the brunt of it because you are playing by the rules. Do not play by the rules. Go date a 40 something hotties who has just gotten her kids out of the house...trust me, they are great. No expectations, they don't want kids, they just want to be treated well and to get some attention when they need it, not smothered. Do this for 5-7 years and by the time you are 25-27, all those girls will be trying to find a guy without kids that has a decent job and maybe wants a family. Then all of a sudden, your nice guy stable life trumps Mr Musclehead who by now isn't playing football and is flabby has 3 illegitamate kids to pay for and has to live with his mom to do it. Now, you win and can pick whoever you want.

[Willow]

Well, scientifically they are going to chose mates that are still alpha males based on generally testosterone, muscles and social dominance. Nice is nice, but if it aint in the top 3, you don't qualify.

2nd by being the "nice guy" you instantly identify yourself with the nice guy who won't cheat and will treat me great. Well, the alpha male of course cheats, he is dominant and can and even though society and upbringing says, you are it, all of her desire will be to pick the alphamale.

The trick here is society has turned our dating/mating selections on their heads and you are getting the brunt of it because you are playing by the rules. Do not play by the rules. Go date a 40 something hotties who has just gotten her kids out of the house...trust me, they are great. No expectations, they don't want kids, they just want to be treated well and to get some attention when they need it, not smothered. Do this for 5-7 years and by the time you are 25-27, all those girls will be trying to find a guy without kids that has a decent job and maybe wants a family. Then all of a sudden, your nice guy stable life trumps Mr Musclehead who by now isn't playing football and is flabby has 3 illegitamate kids to pay for and has to live with his mom to do it. Now, you win and can pick whoever you want.

Hey, that's what my hubby did.  He met me when he was 26, dumped his 40 year old girlfriend and (4 years later) married me.

[darkcyd]

Well, scientifically they are going to chose mates that are still alpha males based on generally testosterone, muscles and social dominance. Nice is nice, but if it aint in the top 3, you don't qualify.

2nd by being the "nice guy" you instantly identify yourself with the nice guy who won't cheat and will treat me great. Well, the alpha male of course cheats, he is dominant and can and even though society and upbringing says, you are it, all of her desire will be to pick the alphamale.

The trick here is society has turned our dating/mating selections on their heads and you are getting the brunt of it because you are playing by the rules. Do not play by the rules. Go date a 40 something hotties who has just gotten her kids out of the house...trust me, they are great. No expectations, they don't want kids, they just want to be treated well and to get some attention when they need it, not smothered. Do this for 5-7 years and by the time you are 25-27, all those girls will be trying to find a guy without kids that has a decent job and maybe wants a family. Then all of a sudden, your nice guy stable life trumps Mr Musclehead who by now isn't playing football and is flabby has 3 illegitamate kids to pay for and has to live with his mom to do it. Now, you win and can pick whoever you want.

Hey, that's what my hubby did.  He met me when he was 26, dumped his 40 year old girlfriend and (4 years later) married me.

I'll bet he is a nice smart guy too with a decent job and no kids prior to you. Smart man, smart man

[Godless]

Well, scientifically they are going to chose mates that are still alpha males based on generally testosterone, muscles and social dominance. Nice is nice, but if it aint in the top 3, you don't qualify.

2nd by being the "nice guy" you instantly identify yourself with the nice guy who won't cheat and will treat me great. Well, the alpha male of course cheats, he is dominant and can and even though society and upbringing says, you are it, all of her desire will be to pick the alphamale.

The trick here is society has turned our dating/mating selections on their heads and you are getting the brunt of it because you are playing by the rules. Do not play by the rules. Go date a 40 something hotties who has just gotten her kids out of the house...trust me, they are great. No expectations, they don't want kids, they just want to be treated well and to get some attention when they need it, not smothered. Do this for 5-7 years and by the time you are 25-27, all those girls will be trying to find a guy without kids that has a decent job and maybe wants a family. Then all of a sudden, your nice guy stable life trumps Mr Musclehead who by now isn't playing football and is flabby has 3 illegitamate kids to pay for and has to live with his mom to do it. Now, you win and can pick whoever you want.

So you're telling me to date someone who is double/more than double my age? Uhh... I don't really have a thing for older women. Especially when they're old enough to be my mother.

[Shy]

I'll be honest, the dating scene hasn't been going very well for me. Senior year in high school, I asked out the girl I really liked to prom and I wanted to continue seeing her over the summer but after graduation she completely stopped talking to me. Freshman year of college, I tried to hang out/get to know this girl that I sat next to in Resources Geology. I got her number but she didn't seem interested in doing anything. A little later, I found that I kinda liked one of my female friends and I wanted to go out with her but I got friend zoned so hard especially since she told me in a text "You're like the brother I never had!". And a few days ago, I asked this girl out to lunch who I know through one of my friends, but she said she wasn't interested in a relationship (in a text) but I still got lunch with her (which did go well) so that probably won't go anywhere. Is it just me or are many girls not interested in "nice guys" like me? What am I to do? Become a selfish asshole?

Bumping old stuff working on my 50.

Younger, the bad boys were more appealing. There were few that were nice and started off a friends. Now, as a women, that would be what I look for if I were single again. Maybe it comes with age or maturity. My husband is an asshole, and he annoys the piss out of me now. (So effin hot at first, but turned to a serious NOT as the years go by!)

[original_gender]

Bumping old stuff working on my 50.

[...]

My husband is an asshole, and he annoys the piss out of me now. (So effin hot at first, but turned to a serious NOT as the years go by!)

I wonder what internet forum(s) your husband participates on.

[Shy]

Bumping old stuff working on my 50.

[...]

My husband is an asshole, and he annoys the piss out of me now. (So effin hot at first, but turned to a serious NOT as the years go by!)

I wonder what internet forum(s) your husband participates on.

None, he does not care to spend time typing and reading to/from people. Only interest are baseball and porn. He knows why I get pissed at him, and I know why he gets pissed at me. We sure don't keep it to ourselves, sugar coating, playing roles of a perfect marriage that may not even exist. If circumstances were different we might not of even choose to be with each other, and yes him and I agree on that fact, but we do care deeply about one another and comfortable in the life we have together. And after 11 years of marriage and 13 of being together I have earned the right to say, my husband is an asshole that pisses me off sometimes.

BUT...I was mainly trying to tell the person who started the thread about the good guy, bad guy from a female stand point and using my own situation as an example without boring everyone with the details. Could have left the last sentence out, but in my buzzed state of mind, it seemed like a good idea at the time. *D'OH*

[Tank]

Bumping old stuff working on my 50.

[...]

My husband is an asshole, and he annoys the piss out of me now. (So effin hot at first, but turned to a serious NOT as the years go by!)

I wonder what internet forum(s) your husband participates on.

None, he does not care to spend time typing and reading to/from people. Only interest are baseball and porn. He knows why I get pissed at him, and I know why he gets pissed at me. We sure don't keep it to ourselves, sugar coating, playing roles of a perfect marriage that may not even exist. If circumstances were different we might not of even choose to be with each other, and yes him and I agree on that fact, but we do care deeply about one another and comfortable in the life we have together. And after 11 years of marriage and 13 of being together I have earned the right to say, my husband is an asshole that pisses me off sometimes.

BUT...I was mainly trying to tell the person who started the thread about the good guy, bad guy from a female stand point and using my own situation as an example without boring everyone with the details. Could have left the last sentence out, but in my buzzed state of mind, it seemed like a good idea at the time. *D'OH*

I think your honesty in your relationship does you credit.

[Shy]

It's the only way not to become a homicidal maniac. 

Seriously though, it's been awhile since I've been on any internet forums. Have only used the internet for college the past couple years, so a reminder to self of how things come out without a tone a voice, body language, etc.

Got my first foot in mouth over with pretty quickly. The second is creeping around here like a ninja. 

[original_gender]

None, he does not care to spend time typing and reading to/from people. Only interest are baseball and porn. He knows why I get pissed at him, and I know why he gets pissed at me. We sure don't keep it to ourselves, sugar coating, playing roles of a perfect marriage that may not even exist. If circumstances were different we might not of even choose to be with each other, and yes him and I agree on that fact, but we do care deeply about one another and comfortable in the life we have together. And after 11 years of marriage and 13 of being together I have earned the right to say, my husband is an asshole that pisses me off sometimes.

BUT...I was mainly trying to tell the person who started the thread about the good guy, bad guy from a female stand point and using my own situation as an example without boring everyone with the details. Could have left the last sentence out, but in my buzzed state of mind, it seemed like a good idea at the time. *D'OH*

Oh, it wasn't my intent to be critical. That sentence just sounded a bit like a marital death sigh, but now that you've explained the situation it has given me some idea of your context. I just thought the prospect of a husband and wife venting on two different forums on the same internet was sort of an interesting idea, lol.